Jeremy Maclin, it felt great to return to work this week. As usual, I both walked and drove. What a week it's been! DAMN! It's been nothing but pure drama drama, drama, drama! Don't wonder what it would have been like without the pedestrians and motorists who supplied the OOMPH to my week, even though sometimes they made me scream and pull my hair out. I am delighted to share the week's highlights with you.
MONDAY
CHUM:
He says if you have something to say, say it to his face instead of honking your horn like a MAD MAN
Raging Bull:
Grrr!
Since there is sidewalk for cyclists, he should USE IT AND GET OFF THE DARN ROAD!!!!!!!
CHUM:
He called you a acn DONUT!
RB:
Only an IDIOT get lost EVERYDAY with maps and direction pointers and gps
CHUM:
You can't walk barefooted on the cold sidewalk. Why did you take off your shoes and threw it in the ditch?
Raging Bull:
No place in my shoe for you, you long legged fuher! No! You're DEAD! YOU SCUM OF THE EARTH. VERMIN! Do you have any spider poison in your manbag
Chum:
NO! Squash its skeleton with the shoe
TUESDAY
Chum:
If you could, it seem you would punch that driver. what's wrong?
Raging Bull: Grrr! He's driving too SLOW to be in the fast lane! The speed limit is 65 for heaven sake! Come on, MOVE OVER!
RAGING BULL:
Vehicle horns drive me crazy.
CHUM:
Motorists use them to show how rude they are to us pedestrians
RAGING BULL:
Such NUISANCE!!
CHUM:
I know. Mind you, the emergency sirens are no better
RAGING BULL:
True. But THEY SAVE LIVES.horns destroy lives AND RELATIONSHIPS. My husband hate horns so much, he cant stand hearing them on the radio
WEDNESDAY
Chum:
All That rage! Why are you showing NFLX your middle finger?
Raging Bull
SINCE he dislikes HOW I drive, I want him to get the HELL off the sidewalk!
Chum:
The truck driver said you're not fit to drive
Raging Bull:
Yes, I’M A ANGRY driver. Yes, rage, therapy might help, you wanna know what else would help??....IF HE COULD DRIVE!!.
THURSDAY
Chum:
nnamdi asomugha! I can't, these SLOW WALKERS taking up the WHOLE sidewalk....
Raging Bull:
...Me neither. For your information TURTLES, some of us have dogs to feed and uncles to have dinner with
Raging Bull:
Keep your seat belt on and be quiet!
Chum:
your highness, please don’t discriminate against me because I’m in the passenger seat. I want to reach over to honk the horn and swear at other drivers too. I'M BORED!
FRIDAY
Raging Bull:
mini driver swerve into me then DELIBERATLEY ran me off the road.
Chum: OMG! I had no idea one had to be so defensive even when driving a big bus.
Raging BUll:
Defend? By the time I realized what was happening, it was too late to DEFEND; I was on the sidewalk on my side, and he was GONE like carlos beltran
CHUM:
I stopped in the rain to fix one of my flip flops that broke. The other one fell off my feet and sailed down the sidewalk in the water. Could'nt catch it. Had to walk the rest of the way home BAREFOOT. Fudge!
Raging Bull:
What a TRAGEDY!
SATURDAY
Raging Bull:
(rants) TO HELL WITH ALL YOU pedestrians congesting the sidewalk. I wish your brains explode and scatter all over the sidewalk. I don't give damn!
Chum:
Take it easy. PLEASE!
RB:
honking at pensioners again?
C:
Any car that passes me on the shoulder is getting rammed.Blame my school for my anger!
RB:
I'm scared we'll bump into the lorry driver we threw the sprite cans on.
C:
He was mad like eagles.
RB:
His arms are bigger than our legs. Let's go straight home. If we see him on the way, we simply give a few hand signals
C:
Provided no kids are present
SUNDAY
CHUM:
one of these days a motorist is gonna punch you in the face
RAGING BULL:
progeria! If I knew he was gonna point a pistol in my face when I opened his car door, I would have stayed in the car with you and wait for the cops to arrive
CHUM:
For your birthday, I'm gonna get a bumper sticker that says 'OUT OF RAGE MEDICATION'
++ - I'm going to the sidewalk sale with my best looking grand niece
** - She will definitely see your crazy side IF you spot a bargain
++ - THERE WILL BE bargains!. Everything will be 75% off . TODAY ONLY!
** - TODAY ONLY? They said that yesterday.
++ - IT’S TRUE!
** - Well, hurry up before its all gone then. Don't let me hold you back dear.
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