This is a public sidewalk, not a church

MAVERICK pedestrian, VONN, batted away the sidewalk preacher's pronouncements, "Tell Jesus to F*** OFF! Passers-by stopped to see what the all the uproar was about.. Stunned onlookers on the benches outside the sidewalk's Pure Raw Foods place, held their breaths. Some sniggered. Fernandez, aka, the sidewalk playboy, was crafting raw desserts; smoothies with coconut oil, raw cocoa powder, and cucumber, but was too disorientated to toss the ingredients properly.


THE OPEN (unfazed, defiant)

JESUS said " I am the way the truth and the life....


VONN
(repeatedly)

Tell Jesus to F*** OFF!....



THE OPEN

....NO-ONE cometh to the FATHER but by me...



VONN

This is a public sidewalk, not a church.....Tell Jesus to F*** OFF!



THE OPEN

You can tell HIM yourself when you see HIM....if you EVER see his face..


VONN

Don't talk too much. PLEASE!


THE OPEN

Everyone MUST be born again. Accept Christ as your personal saviour. TODAY! It's time to follow the Lord's footsteps.


VONN

Bla Bla Bla....Shut up! This is  PUBLIC sidewalk, not a church


Ratajkowski

(to Vonn)

This is a public sidewalk, the Man of God is free to do what he likes. If you don't want to listen, DON'T listen


VONN

I don't want to listen to him


Ratajkowski

Then go and sit on another sidewalk bench. Walk on, and leave the Man of God alone.



THE OPEN

Amen. Only his blood can save us. We have all sinned.....


VONN

ENOUGH! My God! Shut up!


THE OPEN

Come and shut me up! You cannot see the Kingdom of God unless you repent...


VONN
(sang mockingly)

HALLELUJAH


Ratajkowski
(shook head in scorn)

Are you taking the Man of God's sermon for a JOKE?


THE OPEN

Singing hallelujah not gonna save you. Unless you repent... you are gonna end up in the wrong place - HELL!


VONN

GO TO HELL!



FAUXPAS

Let him speak his religion..You must learn to be tolerant of others' religions. This is a free sidewalk. Otherwise, JOG ON!


Ratajkowski

Amen!


Pasapalabra

This is a free sidewalk. Pedestrians have a right to RELAX on the benches, enjoy the sun - without this FLIPPING annoyance. This is not the time or place for sermons. Find a church or something...


THE OPEN
(faced Pasapalabra sternly)

NO-ONE cometh to the FATHER but by me....

VONN

....Shut up!


The OPEN

I don't need this from you ANYMORE

..................................................

words by zokaya kamara

SEE ALSO

https://www.facebook.com/TheSidewalkDarlings

http://sidewalknarratives.blogspot.com/

www.twitter.com/zokayakamara

and other sidewalk health NUTS

UTILISING real fruits; mangoes, mixed berries, strawberries, soursops, SHOMUNI, aka the sidewalk playboy crafts SWEET, FRESH smoothies for the sidewalk style sirens, jogging, brisk-walking and other sidewalk health NUTS.

SHOMUNI

Welcome to the Pure raw Foods place, Ryan, sorry, I mean RANDY. How may I help?


RANDY

I'm gonna try your raw desserts today, SHOMUNI


Rivera
Yuck! Aren't you scared of food poisoning and diarrhoea? Raw foods is not healthy.. It's not for HUMANS......I love your cute summer dress... and wedges. Its going to be hot so cuteness, casualness and comfort are fundamental.Very casual


SHOMUNI

.....Don't believe the NONSENSE you heard about 'raw foods are bad for you.' I have never heard such, unpalatable, indigestible NONSENSE.



RANDY
Me neither


Rivera
GOSH Shomuni! I know you are passionate about your pure raw foods' beliefs so I have no objective to perpetuating a verbal war


SHOMUNI

Me neither...Everyday, we serve raw desserts to the fashionable sidewalk - bowls of raw smoothieS, raw salads, raw juices, bigger than your head. So far, no one's tooth has dropped out - only a little cat-like flatulence

.....................................

words by zokaya kamara

SEE ALSO

https://www.facebook.com/TheSidewalkDarlings

http://sidewalknarratives.blogspot.com/

www.twitter.com/zokayakamara

using ONLY fresh, raw ingredients

AT THE sidewalk's Pure Raw Foods place, a suited and booted Wimbledon, aka the sidewalk playboy crafts sumptuous desserts using ONLY fresh, raw ingredients. The sidewalk fashionistas growing appetite for his creations, keeps him very busy.

[WATCHES AS PEDESTRIAN, KWOK TRIPS OVER HIS DOG, Kat Von, FALLS ON HIS FACE]


MILEY

　
Craft me a special salad....with broccoli and fruits...any fruit.


Wimbledon

I can craft you a special salad, but not with vegetables and fruits combined


MILEY

Why not?

Wimbledon

I NEVER mix the two in salads


MILEY

Okay. You know best



[ Marian and Mr Lucarelli walk pass a sidewalk bench - TOPLESS. Wimbledon nods at them in approval]



WIMBLEDON

Thanks. I can combine tomatoes with broccoli


MILEY

Tomatoes makes me develop skin rashes. I love pretty much all fruits and vegetables but not tomatoes.

　


No problem. I have cauliflower

　

MILEY

Great.! I love it , I love it , I love it . Can't live without it...


KARIMA

.....Calm down...



MILEY

....I wish my children would adopt my style, and not their father's. He does'nt like vegetables at all. He will eat vegetables but only from a can. And like you said 'fresh fruits and Vegetables are superior.'

　

WIMBLEDON

That's right. But it's still better to eat fruits and vegetables from a can, than not eating any at all..Some vegetables and fruits are not available fresh, so it's fine to have the frozen or canned ones.

　

KARIMA

Fruits and vegetables in cans? What the HELL! I would'nt eat that...I wish my children would adopt my style

　

MILEY

Don't be rude!

　

KARIMA

SHUT UP! You're too sensitive

................................................

[Jaclyn urinates on the sidewalk]


WIMBLEDON
(in disgust)

Crazy man!


Tsarnaev

I can't afford fresh vegetables


GOMEZ

Well, you can plant your vegetables


Tsarnaev

I knew you would say that. For your information, I would live to plant my own vegetables, but I don't have the time and place


WIMBLEDON

Well, shop around for discounted fruits and vegetables. Most times, they are taste just as good, and have the same nutritional value, as premium ones

　
Tsarnaev

GOMEZ, I hope someday, you'll be forced to eat fruits and vegetables from cans.

　

GOMEZ

I would'nt mind...Like the sidewalk playboy said, 'it's better to eat them from a can, than not eating any at all.

....................................................

words by zokaya kamara

SEE ALSO

https://www.facebook.com/TheSidewalkDarlings

http://sidewalknarratives.blogspot.com/

www.twitter.com/zokayakamara

sMOOTHIE TIME

Nothing like a kick-ass banana smoothie from the sidewalk's Nature base Boutique. It causes cat-like flatulence in certain factions of the stylish sidewalk diaspora but no one gives a heck. Existing customers still crave it and new ones are willing to try it. Besides, Palme d'Or, aka the sidewalk playboy, finds it easy and convenient to make. No need to stress about his statement suit and tie getting dirty or his impeccably edgy look, getting messed up in the process.


[TASSIE chases missing cat on the sidewalk, Nick parks her car on the sidewalk]


Passer-by, CARRIE
(grunts)

Where does she expects pedestrians to walk now?....Anyway, I heard that you are the artisan of the greatest raw foods dinner...What's your special today?


Palme d'Or

I think Nick is only concerned about other motorists hitting her new car. It's quite safe on the sidewalk...We do DESSERTS, not dinner. Today, we have a wicked smoothie. It's a complete meal, so it has a good amount of protein and enough carbohydrates....We NEED protein.



CARRIE

.....sounds wonderful and healthy. Bring me one. Wait. What are the ingredients?


[TASSIE slips and scrapes knees]


Palme d'Or

Ripe mangoes, strawberries, ripe bananas, raw honey, rolled oats, flax seeds, raspberries, peanut butter, blackberries, skim milk, blueberries,.....great for lunch. Great way to start your afternoon. I used apples as well, and some crunchy raw goji berries.


CARRIE

Any dairy?

Palme d'Or

Not today, sorry. Actually, there are no skim milk. That was a mistake....I blended the raw ingredients in raw rasberry sauce, almond milk and raw honey.


CARRIE

You have some pretty good ideas. Almond milk is a great substitute for dairy milk. No wonder it looks so creamy.


JOANNE PEH

SIdewalk playboy, I notice you NEVER mention how much of each ingredient you used in your raw foods concoctions?

Palme d'Or

Crafting raw foods dishes is not an exact science, so I never meausure the ingreidents. I just use amounts that I fancy, amounts that are convenient etc...

Joanne Peh
(laughs)

Sound like a whole lot of EXPERIMENTATIONS to me.


Palme d'Or
That's exactly what they are.


Joanne Peh

That sounds amazing. No better way to share desserts on the sidewalk

[BILL clears throat loudly.]
..............................

Palme d'Or

You'll love it. It tastes great. has no nasty ingredients. It'll fill you with boundless energy. It may make you fart alot though.


ADRIAN

That make me really HUNGRY..I LIKE it. I wish I could like this twice..If goodness makes me fart, so be it.


[LAUGHTER]


BILL

No thank you. I'll NEVER have bird food for lunch. (walking away) The sidewalk barbeque smells delicious. I bet it's cheaper too.


ADRIAN

That make me really ANGRY, Bill.


BILL

Why though? Did the sidewalk playboy hire you as spokesperson for Nature Base Boutique?


JESSIE

(shouts at a pedestrian approaching him)

STOP texting while walking on the busy sidewalk, you LEMMING!

..........................................

words by zokaya kamara]

SEE ALSO

https://www.facebook.com/TheSidewalkDarlings

http://sidewalknarratives.blogspot.com/

www.twitter.com/zokayakamara

a kick-ass celery salad

MAY is national salads month, but at the sidewalk's NATURE BASE BOUTIQUE, every week is RAW SALADS o'clock. Raw foods rocks! David, aka, the sidewalk playboy, suited and booted, of course,
is crafting a kick-ass celery salad for the sidewalk's fashion pack. It wont be ready until an hour or so, yet, it's palatable aroma is already pulling in chic passers-by. Their crave is so palpable, it's causing their mouths to water.

Normally, David uses lots of  fresh vegetables, fruits, seeds, nuts and herbs in all  his quick and easy raw foods lunches. Today is no exception.

INGREDIENTS(inexpensive and organic)  for today's kick-ass Celery Salad: celery, baby carrots, avocado, green onions, crushed peanuts, fresh parsley, cherry tomatoes, sliced ginger, fresh minced ginger,cabbage, red pepper, and zucchini

DRESSING:
oriental salad sauce and cold pressed walnut oil



                                                      LUNCH TIME

RAFA
Celery is my favourite type of salad

DAVID

Really!

RAFA
I REFUSED to date a girl because she didn't like it....celery salads

.................................................................
BRITNEY
I thought you were a Wardrobe Stylist. You cook also?

DAVID
I AM  a wardrobe stylist, but I'm NOT a cook. I am a RAW MEALS ARTISAN. I craft salads and smoothies, using raw ingredients ONLY..

BRITNEY
I don't care much for cooked ingredients in my salads at all. You are doing a kick ass job with your raw foods venture

DAVID

PASSION, not venture. Thanks. Can't go wrong with raw foods

.............................................................
SUN HO

David, does Nature Base Boutique, deliver to customers who work on the sidewalk?

DAVID

I'm afraid not. Maybe in the future.



CHAN

DAMN IT!
...............................................................

DIESEL

May I have 300 grams of mixed nuts, 150 grams of dried fruits and 7 bottles of water please


Muhlach

SEVEN bottes of water?


DIESEL

I drink LOTS of water. It's almost the first thing I do before I go walk the sidewalk.


DAVID

Congrats. You can't go wrong with LOTS of water.

................................................................................

SELENA

People who eat a whole lot of vegetabes and fruits, can't build muscles. You need protein in your diet


DAVID

WHAT! For your information, a WHOLE lot of proteins can be found in beans, vegetables, nuts, seeds..Why are you so vegetable and fruit averse? Bear in mind, in comparison, you are unlikely to find toxins in raw fruits and vegetables...A nature based lifestyle is the way FORWARD


UPTON

Never mind the detractors, sidewalk playboy. If you are being attacked it simply means that you are doing the right thing. You are succeeding, not them...I have eat raw foods regularly and have no plans on stopping.


SHARUKH

No wonder your sidewalk pictures are so encouraging to look at. Not to mention your energy levels - they are INSANE


UPTON

Thanks. I can't ever see mysef living any other way. This nature-based lifestyle ROCKS!

....................................................

LE Spice Boy

I LOVE raw foods. Thanks for making this sweet raw salad. I'llbe back. I woudn't want to miss out on your daily raw treats


DAVID

Sorrry, you will have to miss out on the days when I attend both fashion and fashionable events. These events are VERY important to my sidewalk life also. Later, I'll be at the Royal Air Force museum's 70th anniversary of the Dambusters raid, dressed up in wartime outfit, of course. Just checking out bombs. other war artefacts, and, last but not the pilots' bad-ass uniforms.......


Edyta
(teases)

.......I can see why they call you the 'sidewalk payboy'....AND...you are such a show-off.
............................................................................

[words by zokaya kamara]

SEE ALSO

https://www.facebook.com/TheSidewalkDarlings

http://sidewalknarratives.blogspot.com/

www.twitter.com/zokayakamara

kick-ass banana-chocolate smoothie

THE irredeeemable raw foods artisan, Simpson, aka the sidewalk playboy, knows how to keep them coming. The sidewalk diaspora just loves his delectable raw foods lunches. Raw living foods is the way forward. His raw foods lunches, with real foods,  always rocks; heaven on earth,  to die for. Just saying.

[POLICEMAN REPRIMANDS CHILD FOR DRAWING HOPSKOTCH GRID ON THE SIDEWALK WITH CHALKS] 

SIMPSON (shakes head in disgust)

Shame on him!

PASSER-BY, Pakatan

He can't be SERIOUS!
....................................................

Today's special raw foods lunch is something simple, but inventive with Simpson's personal touch..He has an idea of what foods regular customers and random passers-by like; natural, fresh and raw. Something cute; foods for champions . This will be reflected in the kick-ass smoothie he's crafting for the motherlovers. They need the good carbohydrates.


INGREDIENTS are fresh and has no toxic preservatives:
　
RIPE bananas, strawberries, blackberries, raw honey, mangoes, dates, blueberry, raw powedered peanuts (not calorie dense) pineapple, cold-pressed avocado oil, pomegranate, raw cacao, goji berries, almond milk, cinnamon, raw chocolate, flaxseeds, vegan protein powder and spring water.



[IN THE DISTANCE, AFTER A DOG FINISHED SH*TTING ON THE SIDEWALK, IT'S OWNER KNELT, WIPED THE DOG'S BOTTOM, THEN WALK AWAY, LEAVING THE SH*T BEHIND]



SIMPSON, suited and booted in Comme Des Garcons creations, blends all the ingredients in the spring water. The result;  a smoothie that IS ...something different. Not available in ORDINARY restaurants.


　



　
               [HOURS LATER, PASSERS-BY CUSTOMERS, DROP BY]


　

PHIL

YUCK! No one in their right minds gonna try this. Some of your raw foods lunches scare me.

SIMPSON

He's hating on my smoothie

　
矢部浩之 騒然 (Hiroyuki)

Never mind. He's STILL drinking it

PHIL

Well, I paid for it already, so I might as well get my money's worth.


矢部浩之 騒然 (Hiroyuki)

How does it taste?


PHIL
It's good, actually. I LOVE it. I shoud have waited until I finished before I hate it.

　
SIMPSON

Goodness. It will flatten your tummy and give you more energy. If you want to utilise the full potential of your brain, then raw living foods, like this can do that for you.

BERRY
Not the typical smoothie


PHIL
It actually tasted pretty good though

　

SPEARS

This is the crazIEST smoothie EVER

PHIL

Shut up!

　
.......

[words by zokaya kamara]

SEE ALSO

https://www.facebook.com/TheSidewalkDarlings

http://sidewalknarratives.blogspot.com/

www.twitter.com/zokayakamara







　

　

　

　

　

nice-looking broccoli salad

At RAW TASTES, Sidewalk playboy, Spencer; crafts superfoods salads especially for the sidewalk diaspora and passers-by. They enthusiasticaly embrace the sidewalk's raw foods diet, from the outset.  Spencer enjoys revolutionising the sidewalk's diet. It's his passion, you see, not merely a business. The more real food these lot eat, the less cravings they will experience for junk foods. Eating real food keeps their bodies well-nourished and energised.

Dressed in a bad-ass TOPMAN suit and tie ensemble,Spencer is designing a kick-ass brocolli salad (packed with Vitamin C and bioflavonoids)

Ingredient:

Tomatoes, asparagus, carrots, Kale, radishes, iceberg lettuce, broccoli, rhubarb, leek, dark greens vegetables, cauliflower, avocados...

Whisks together raw honey, cashews, almond oil,  rock salt, pepper and balsamic vinaigrette dressing. Then, he drizzle the mixture over the shredded vegetables. 

TWO HOURS LATER - LUNCH TIME

 Keira (Spencer gave her all the details about the salad)

Sounds like a super yummy summer salad!

KEVIN
I am super hungry, a bowl of salad is not good enough for me. I need some REAL food.

KEIRA

What? This salad is made of real food, silly.

SPENCER

Thank you!

KEVIN

You call vegetables real food. Where is the bacon?
..................................................................
ZOE
I would like to have my salad without dressings

SPENCER
But, the dressing is good for your heath. It will do you no harm.

ZOE
I'm concerned about the extra calories from the dressings. Besides, dressings always make me feel unwell.

KEVIN
 Okay. I'll make some salad for you without dressings - just a litte rock salt.

NURUL
all I see in this salad are FLIPPING vegetables. No baked chicken, no ham, no bacon. That's a LIMP salad

 MIRIAM
It's amazing how a good salad can make your day. Another bowl for me please, Spencer.

NURUL
I'm tempted now. Dammit! I can't believe I'm tempted by RAW foods.

RAMON
That salad looks so good, BUT how can I eat it knowing that I can have pastry instead?

KEVIN
Raw foods! YUCK! That will make me sick.  That will make me feel horrible inside.

SPENCER
Not a salad lover, I see

CHARICE 
What a nice-looking salad. It looks tasty and so refreshing.

.......

[words by zokaya kamara]

SEE ALSO

https://www.facebook.com/TheSidewalkDarlings

http://sidewalknarratives.blogspot.com/

www.twitter.com/zokayakamara

Yummy kale smoothie

THOUSANDS more passers-by will be jumping on the raw foods band wagon. At the Sidewalk Raw Foods Restaurant, a smarty dressed Abraham, aka the sidewalk playboy, is crafting a very healthy, organic smoothie. YUMMY! On this warm, sunny day, everyone will be drooling over it.

[in the distance, a drunkard urinates on the sidewalk in broad day light, in full view of everyone, GROSS]

APRIL

Any pastries on the menu?

ABRAHAM
Sorry. Not healthy enough. We have YUMMY kale chips though.


[Two kids riding bikes in opposite directions on the sidewalk, collide into each other, argue vehemently]

ABRAHAM

If those kids were WALKING on the sidewak, they would'nt crash into each other..

[April rushes into the kitchen, rants and shouts profanities.]

APRIL
How dare you replace the lovely pastries with BORING, tasteless, raw foods.

Abraham
HOW DARE YOU!....
Life is hard...get over it. There is no heat in this kitchen.

APRIL
Whatever!

Abraham
If you can't stand the lack of heat in this kitchen, GET OUT!

APRIL
I have your birthday present, so you better speak to me BETTER.

Abraham
What is it?

APRIL
(burst into laughter)

A bottle of FERMENTED cod liver oil, of course.
......................................................................
Needless to say, Abraham is using only real, fresh, raw foods for the kale smoothie - ripe bananas, almond milk, soy milk, Apple, peanut butter, cranberries, cinnamon, carrot, mango, cacao, goji berries, avocado,  strawberry, LOTS of kale, lemon, orange and pineapple juices, oh, and  tangerine mineral water.

It takes an hour or so to prepare the smoothie.  He simply throws these good stuffs in the blender. The result - a lush, bad-ass smoothie. It tastes really good. The whole sidewalk is gonna fall in love with it.
Here's to a happier sidewalk. Cheers
........

 [words by zokaya kamara]

SEE ALSO

https://www.facebook.com/TheSidewalkDarlings

http://sidewalknarratives.blogspot.com/

www.twitter.com/zokayakamara

Pink salmon salad

PASSERS-BY on the sidewak, relish their new guilty-pleasure - raw salads, prepared daily by Ashton, aka, the sidewalk playboy. Some of them have a raw; fruit or vegetable, salad, EVERY DAY. It's their new honey. No other dietary source of sweetness will do. Eat your heart out.

(Yvette walk briskly on sidewalk, Brad emerges from a sidewalk stall and steps in front of her. Gross!)

As we speak, Ashton, the dapper sidewalk playboy, is making a kick-ass - to-die-for, Raw Salmon salad. He expects passers-by who have first servings, to be tempted into to having second servings.

(altercation breaks out between two groups of pedestrians. Group B's power walk is halted when they find it impossible to pass Group A, ambling in front, reading newspaper, texting, swaying from side to side on the sidewalk. extra flavor! yummy treat!)

In a large bowl, Ashton mixes together the following fresh,  RAW foods:

crushed red pepper, pounded peanuts, kale, mint, Kelp noodles, finely-chopped spring onions aka scallions, asparagus, shredded zucchini, peeled and grated carrots, chopped chilli, avocado, pine nuts, tomatoes, raw onion, crushed garlic, cumin seeds, baby spinach, onion powder, and of course, heaps of raw crumbled raw pink salmon.

(Pedestrian walk away quickly after his dog finished sh*tting on the sidewalk. TASTELESS! Another pedestrian shout Are you gonna pick that up? then offered the culprit  a plastic bag to put the MESS in. Serve him....right)

Over that mixture, the amused sidewalk playboy drizzles a mixture of raw honey, Himalayan rock salt olive oil and lemon juice and lime juice and rice vinegar. Stir frantically. Then place the bowl in the refrigerator to marinate for TWO HOURS


(LATER - sidewalk's lunch time)


Happiness is written all over the faces of those devouring it now. Even a sidewalk worker who earlier admitted his disdain for raw baby spinach. Yuck!

　
RYAN
This salad is to-die-for, Ashton. I’ll have one for lunch every day at work.

ASHTON

Soon, you’ll forget that tiresome pastry desserts were your ultimate guilty pleasures

(jokingly) Were they?

　

JENNIFER
Best raw salad ever. Yummy. I could eat it every day.

ASHTON

You SHOUld eat it every day!

MICHELLE
Your raw salad smells delicious!!! I got to try some today.

ASHTON

It’s okay to hate raw vegetables, but there is no harm in trying it – ONLY GOODNESS.

.......
 [words by zokaya kamara]

SEE ALSO

https://www.facebook.com/TheSidewalkDarlings

http://sidewalknarratives.blogspot.com/

www.twitter.com/zokayakamara