Distracted taxi driver Lee Evans

TAXI driver, Lee Evans: lights a cigarette and starts to sings Christina Aguilera's CAR WASH


PASSENGER Martyn Pawpaw:

You sound like a strangled mice..WHAT THE HELL! Have you gotten tired of watching Desperate Housewives, counting money or making telephone calls?



TAXI driver:

NO! Advert break



PASSENGER Martyn Pawpaw:

MY LIFE IS IN YOUR HANDS. It’s against the law to endanger your passengers' lives. You know that!



My fare is in your pocket. YOU KNOW THAT! You don’t have to wait till you reach your destination to pay me, you know. Don’t worry about my driving. I’m not new to THIS.


You’re not new to DRIVING? Thank God!


I’m not new to watching DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES or doing other stuffs while my passengers sit QUIETLY in the back or JOIN IN. Never had an incident. HA HA HA!


I pay you….


....You have not paid me YET, REMEMBER?



I will be paying you to take me to my destination safely but you are worrying me more and more



Stop worrying. If you had kids with you, I could understand your concern….cheer up


Okay. (starts praying)


That’s not necessary. You’ll be fine. What’s your favourite beer? A COLD one? HA HA HA


You drink while driving with passengers?



SURE. If they are not too shy, they happily drink with me. I ALWAYS have enough to share




DRIVER RESUMES WATCHING DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES



WILL YOU PLEASE STOP DOING THAT? You're scaring me!



DRIVER IGNORES HER



UGH: I HAVE TO GET MY OWN CAR!


I AGREE




DRIVER ANSWERS TELEPHONE, STARTS STEERING WITH ELBOW



MUPPET! ARE YOU MAD? You’re getting from BAD TO WORSE! This is unacceptable. If you wanna kill yourself, do so when I get out of your taxi



This is what you get when you complain too much.


I DON'T WANNA SEE YOU OR YOUR TAXI AGAIN


AND IF YOU SEE IT, PLEASE DON'T TAKE IT. I HATE BORING PASSENGERS!


I hate RECKLESS TAXI DRIVERS!


I'm a trendsetter kind of guy. I’m not your average taxi driver. I have hobbies.


RIGHT HERE, PLEASE!..Thanks for the ride. Good night


You forget to pay me


I did not forget. GOOD NIGHT!


I will call the police


I DARE YOU. After behaving like a PRICK, you'll only make it easier for me to REPORT YOU


I...I..I I WON'T CALL THEM. I change my mind


Good! Good night!

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