TAXI driver, Lee Evans: lights a cigarette and starts to sings Christina Aguilera's CAR WASH
PASSENGER Martyn Pawpaw:
You sound like a strangled mice..WHAT THE HELL! Have you gotten tired of watching Desperate Housewives, counting money or making telephone calls?
TAXI driver:
NO! Advert break
PASSENGER Martyn Pawpaw:
MY LIFE IS IN YOUR HANDS. It’s against the law to endanger your passengers' lives. You know that!
My fare is in your pocket. YOU KNOW THAT! You don’t have to wait till you reach your destination to pay me, you know. Don’t worry about my driving. I’m not new to THIS.
You’re not new to DRIVING? Thank God!
I’m not new to watching DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES or doing other stuffs while my passengers sit QUIETLY in the back or JOIN IN. Never had an incident. HA HA HA!
I pay you….
....You have not paid me YET, REMEMBER?
I will be paying you to take me to my destination safely but you are worrying me more and more
Stop worrying. If you had kids with you, I could understand your concern….cheer up
Okay. (starts praying)
That’s not necessary. You’ll be fine. What’s your favourite beer? A COLD one? HA HA HA
You drink while driving with passengers?
SURE. If they are not too shy, they happily drink with me. I ALWAYS have enough to share
DRIVER RESUMES WATCHING DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES
WILL YOU PLEASE STOP DOING THAT? You're scaring me!
DRIVER IGNORES HER
UGH: I HAVE TO GET MY OWN CAR!
I AGREE
DRIVER ANSWERS TELEPHONE, STARTS STEERING WITH ELBOW
MUPPET! ARE YOU MAD? You’re getting from BAD TO WORSE! This is unacceptable. If you wanna kill yourself, do so when I get out of your taxi
This is what you get when you complain too much.
I DON'T WANNA SEE YOU OR YOUR TAXI AGAIN
AND IF YOU SEE IT, PLEASE DON'T TAKE IT. I HATE BORING PASSENGERS!
I hate RECKLESS TAXI DRIVERS!
I'm a trendsetter kind of guy. I’m not your average taxi driver. I have hobbies.
RIGHT HERE, PLEASE!..Thanks for the ride. Good night
You forget to pay me
I did not forget. GOOD NIGHT!
I will call the police
I DARE YOU. After behaving like a PRICK, you'll only make it easier for me to REPORT YOU
I...I..I I WON'T CALL THEM. I change my mind
Good! Good night!
...................................................
SIDEWALK THEATRE and SIDEWALK LOOKS http://www.facebook.com/allthaTRAGE
SIDEWALK LOOKS http://sidewalknarratives.blogspot.com/
Showing posts with label lee evans. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lee evans. Show all posts
Thursday, 29 September 2011
Friday, 12 August 2011
dog runs across the road
DIR: CUT! well done guys. Let's quickly go to the last location for the final scene before the traffic gets heavy there. we can get there in 30 minutes or less
ARGH: Can't we shoot the last scene tomorrow? My telephone battery needs charging....People are leaving work now, too many people on the sidewalk just watching. makes me nervous. I'll miss my queues, forget my lines
DIR: LYRICS ! Not lines. You're singing a song, for christ sake, not reading from a NOVEL. UGH!
ARGH: Sorry sir
DIR: Guys, we MUST finish the last scene today. Tommorrow the road for the scene will be blocked off for more road construction. lee evans FUDGE OFF home if you can't deal with the attention. I CAN'T deal witth your TANTRUMS anymore
GRRR: lets get this show on the road chums!
ARGH: I want to be in the roadshow of course and I am not blaming YOU or anyone for our setback. OH MY GOSH! LOOK OUT!
DOG without leash runs across the road. Police car slams on the break. Dog hit the dashboard. The guys scream while covering their faces in their hands.
UGH: OUCH!
ARGH: (gasps) Who let the dog out?
DIR: FUDGE!
COP gets out of car, looked around suspiciously, then fetched the whimpering dog by an ear and tosses it on the sidewalk.
GRRR: WHAT A HORRIBLE MAN
ARGH: (head through window) AXXHOLE!
UGH: LET'S CHASE HIM!
DIR: We have been drinking alot, DUH!
GRRR! I think the poor dog is deceased. The impact was too great for it to survive
UGH: OH NO! I feel HURT
ARGH: This is not a good sign. We should turn back immediately. Shoot the last scene another day
DIR: I feel sad for the poor dog but the show must go on. WE CANNOT TURN BACK NOW!Lee Evans you look broken hearted
ARGH: I AM. I will miss the dog
GRRR: Shut up! You don't even know the dog. You SCROTE!
ARGH! DULLARD!.....AND YOUR POINT IS? UGH!... I once had a dog. It took her ages to be friendly with me, but eventually she became so loyal. She loved when I pampered her and bring her treats...I'm still dying over her loss
DIR:NO NEED TO FEEL SO STRONGLY. It's jus a dog!
ARGH: No wonder I have more dog friends than human friends. Humans are so insensitive, selfish and uncaring. No offense
DIR: None taken
ARGH: I was refering to GRRR, UGH and the others. I know you're the director, but you are pure EVIL. You're no better than that heartless cop
DIR: STOP THE CAR!
UGH! Yes sir!
ARGH: please don't. I'm sorry, please....
DIR: ...We'll shoot the final scene the first day after tommorrow. Let's go home boys.
ARGH: Can't we shoot the last scene tomorrow? My telephone battery needs charging....People are leaving work now, too many people on the sidewalk just watching. makes me nervous. I'll miss my queues, forget my lines
DIR: LYRICS ! Not lines. You're singing a song, for christ sake, not reading from a NOVEL. UGH!
ARGH: Sorry sir
DIR: Guys, we MUST finish the last scene today. Tommorrow the road for the scene will be blocked off for more road construction. lee evans FUDGE OFF home if you can't deal with the attention. I CAN'T deal witth your TANTRUMS anymore
GRRR: lets get this show on the road chums!
ARGH: I want to be in the roadshow of course and I am not blaming YOU or anyone for our setback. OH MY GOSH! LOOK OUT!
DOG without leash runs across the road. Police car slams on the break. Dog hit the dashboard. The guys scream while covering their faces in their hands.
UGH: OUCH!
ARGH: (gasps) Who let the dog out?
DIR: FUDGE!
COP gets out of car, looked around suspiciously, then fetched the whimpering dog by an ear and tosses it on the sidewalk.
GRRR: WHAT A HORRIBLE MAN
ARGH: (head through window) AXXHOLE!
UGH: LET'S CHASE HIM!
DIR: We have been drinking alot, DUH!
GRRR! I think the poor dog is deceased. The impact was too great for it to survive
UGH: OH NO! I feel HURT
ARGH: This is not a good sign. We should turn back immediately. Shoot the last scene another day
DIR: I feel sad for the poor dog but the show must go on. WE CANNOT TURN BACK NOW!Lee Evans you look broken hearted
ARGH: I AM. I will miss the dog
GRRR: Shut up! You don't even know the dog. You SCROTE!
ARGH! DULLARD!.....AND YOUR POINT IS? UGH!... I once had a dog. It took her ages to be friendly with me, but eventually she became so loyal. She loved when I pampered her and bring her treats...I'm still dying over her loss
DIR:NO NEED TO FEEL SO STRONGLY. It's jus a dog!
ARGH: No wonder I have more dog friends than human friends. Humans are so insensitive, selfish and uncaring. No offense
DIR: None taken
ARGH: I was refering to GRRR, UGH and the others. I know you're the director, but you are pure EVIL. You're no better than that heartless cop
DIR: STOP THE CAR!
UGH! Yes sir!
ARGH: please don't. I'm sorry, please....
DIR: ...We'll shoot the final scene the first day after tommorrow. Let's go home boys.
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