a christmas story from the sidewalk

A CHRISTMAS STORY.

A Kathy Griffin alights from bus. Notices that there is ice on the sidewalk, trying to avoid it, he walks gingerly on what looks like just water. Of course,it is glimmering snow, therefore, equally treacherous as the ice. He slips, tries to land with dignity but failed miserably. He fell on his backside with a great thud.


LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE drown out the Christmas Number 1 on SIDEWALK FM.


CAR DRIVER Savannah: (stops)

Are you okay?



Kathy Griffin:(groans)

Fine, thanks



Savannah DRIVES OFF



SIDEWALK COP Perry : (AMBLES PASS Simpson)

OUCH!



Kathy Griffin: (rants)

DAMN these cops on the sidewalk. They’re as COLD as it was last night. 3 to 5 degrees. Where is the true meaning of Christmas THEY’RE supposed to be UPHOLDING? I HATE THEM! ALL OF THEM



Perry:(looks back, then guffaws)

Excuse my bad manners: I should have said MERRY CHRISTMAS. I hope the DENT in your head will go away by tomorrow



ANOTHER CAR STOPS


DRIVER:

You need a hand?


Kathy Griffin:

No thanks. I’ll be fine. I just need a few minutes, if you don't mind.



DRIVER:

Okay



Kathy Griffin:

Oh Lord. I need to walk on a DRY SIDEWALK. Why couldn’t the DAMN snow wait until after Christmas to fall? By the way, where the hell are my parents when I need them?


Sidewalk Snapper:(giggles)

I admire you. You know how to create good memories. Too bad I can’t stop to help you up. Going to shovel the snow at my gate.


Kathy Griffin:

Whatever!...All you smug people who have hot sunshine today, I hope the heat from the sidewalk burn your bare feet when you walk it home



LAUGHTER


Kathy Griffin:

ANYONE LOST A BRACELET?


JOGGER:

God is GREAT! My grand uncle would turn in his grave if I didn’t find it. Thank you. It’s a good thing no one helped you up before.


Kathy Griffin:

Take it and go about your business!


PEDESTRIAN:

GRRR! Slow down joggers! No need to go so DAMN fast when the sidewalk is congested with so many last minute Christmas shoppers, idlers, pickpockets, you name it




CAR STOPS



Kathy Griffin: (protests as car driver lifts him off the ground)

Leave me alone. I can get up by myself



CAR DRIVER:

Your ankle looks swollen to me sir. That is why you haven’t gotten up already. I'll give you a lift home.


Kathy Griffin:

How do you know how long I have been down?


DRIVER:

I noticed you while I waited for the traffic lights to turn green.



Kathy Griffin:

AHHhhh! Only a few moments ago, I was cursing ALL cops. I'm sorry. VERY SORRY. THANK YOU


DRIVER:

EXCUSE ME! I’m not wearing police uniform. Neither am I driving a police car, so what make you think I’m a cop?


Kathy Griffin:

I’m wondering why you pinned your badge on your plain clothing


DRIVER: (sighs)

Christmas is almost over and I didn't get the chance to spend it with my family. Besides, today has been so stressful. Of course, I lost track of the number of times we had to make arrests on the sidewalk today.


Kathy Griffin:(tearfully)

I do hope you manage to have a decent christmas evening with your family . And things get better soon.

...........................................................


SIDEWALK THEATRE and SIDEWALK LOOKS http://www.facebook.com/allthaTRAGE

SIDEWALK LOOKS http://sidewalknarratives.blogspot.com/

slowly DRIVING...ME CRAZY. ARGH!

GUINESS truck driver, R. martinez: (jumps in truck)

Kids, sit back relax and enjoy. I'll be playing a new game on the road today. I will attempt to run EVERY mini car off the road. Whoever sees the first mini car, just shout START



ROAD PRESENTER Rollins:

Welcome. I'm James, the doyenne of sidewalk presenters..On the other side of town, Dixon is looking forward to wonderful things happening to him on the road. Because of past experiences, however, he is a little anxious. He and R. martinez are complete srangers and it's very unlikley they'll run into each other. Let's keep our fingers crossed for them. for DIXON. That R. martinez seems to be a perfidious character.


Kahne (praying as he gets in car)

I hope squirrels do not run across the road WHEN i'M DRIVING, I hear that's bad luck. Help me save any pet animal that gets in the way, I don't wanna any young kid to suffer hypertrophic cardiomyopathy. LORD, DON'T LET ME HAVE TO RUN AN IDIOT DRIVER OFF THE ROAD, AGAIN. Instead, let me see shooting stars hovering above, as I drive, so all my wishes can come through. aMEN



Dixon STOPS TO ALLOW KIDS TO CROSS ROAD. KIDS WAVE AND DISPLAY THUMBS UP


HE SMILES




Rollins: (notices R. Martinez's truck several feet behing Dixon's car)

This is not funny, odd, awkward. it's too late for Dixon to turn back now. For how much longer will he be safe?



Kid PACKERS: (notices Dixon's mini car)

S T A R T T TT!!!!!!!



kid CHELSEE:


NO!!!




PACKERS:

What are you scared of this time?



R. Martinez: (to CHELSEE)

He's driving too SLOW son. Just WASTING our precious time. i can't afford to be late for the free airport parking or the cheap christmas dresses for your mother.



CHELSEE:

Is that right dad?



DAD:(harrumphs)


Not really,BUT HE'S DRIVING.... ME CRAZY



CHELSEE:

DAD! That's too dangerous.



PACKERS:(teases)

As timid AS....CHELSEE!



R. Martinez:


OKAY okay. STOP IT you two. PACKERS, everyday, you remind me of me; I was a feral child as well....Anyway, I will not run him off the road. I promise your mother I'll take to Coachella Music Festival in one piece. So I will just creep up on this IDIOTIC DRIVER until I'm a few feet away from his bumper.



CHELSEE:

HURRAH! This is the dad I like



PACKERS:

Same here. Scare the hell outta him dad



AFTER A FEW MINUTES



R. Martinez:

Sorry kids. I'm getting bored of this. This is not a game anymore. I have to GET HIM OUT OF THE WAY



CHELSEE:

NO! calm down dad. And keep your hands on the wheels...the STEERING WHEEL



PACKERS:

Just be careful dad, CHRIS is very terrified R. Martienz LAUGHS AS HE ZIG ZAGS BEHIND DIXON'S CAR



SIDEWALK PRESENTER Rollins:

Don't be fooled by the bright lights and the COOL music from the vehicles. They are just a penumbra of something sinister. ANGER. Anger is becoming more and more ubiquitous these days. The road is a Mecca for angry motorists, so you can count on a showdown between these two.




Dixon (shouts)

hey. YOU JERK! watch how you drive. You're going too fast and too dangerously. Do you prefer to lose your life in a moment than to lose just a moment of your life by being patient and courteous?



R. Martienz: (indicates middle finger, then accelerates)


Slow drivers like you should be behind me, not BEFORE




CHRISTOPHER SCREAMS



PACKERS:


You'll have to leave him at home tomorrow dad. He has no guts for this fun game.




Dixon:(Cuts speed as BOND'S car edges closer and closer, menacingly)

I swear, if you hit my bumper today, I am suing your arse TODAY



R. Martienz:

WHATEVER!




LOUD BANG as DIXON'S car careers off the road and into a filthy ditch.



Dixon:

Are you trying to kill us, YOU DRUNK! UGH!



BRAUN:(wakens from passenger's seat of Dixon's car)

CRAZY!!! I bet he was was eating while driving



Dixon:

God knows. Maybe he was just tweeting Christmas messages. Ugh!




PEDESTRIAN Craig:

Jesus Christ! Are you okay down there?



BRAUN:

We are fine thanks, just a little frightened...




Dixon:


....and wet. I urinated on myself



CRAIG: (Turns head away to disguise a snigger)

Thank God You are not hurt....Are you OKk?



BRAUN (sarcastically)


No. WE ARE KNOCKED OUT, YOU IDIOT...WE'RE FINE, THANKS



CRAIG:


No fractures or broken ribs?



Dixon (drives car out of ditch, onto road again)


WE ARE FINE!



Rollins:

Moral of the story. Good samaritans are not welcome. Go about your business, please.



CRAIG:

Calm down. I'm just trying to help. The last time I saw someone got ran off the road, the suffered fractures and broken ribs. They ended up in the hospital. never mind. I will pray for you nonetheless.



BRAUN:

Thanks. But we're fine now.




CRAIG:

I can help.



ROLLINS:(impatient sigh)

He just don't get it?




Dixon SPEEDS UNTIL HE CATCHES BONDS AT THE TRAFFIC LIGHTS. HE PULLS UP ALONGSIDE BOND'S TRUCK,THEN HONKS HORN LOUDLY




CHELSEE:

Tomorrow we will just walk



PACKERS:

Speak for yourself!



R. Martienz:

You'll do no such thing. Not while I have this truck. walking isn't good for your feet




CHELSEE:

We found some money yesterday when we walked. So walking isn't that moribund. UGH!



R. Martienz:

REALLY! It was your lucky day son. I'll let you walk from now on then, but any money you find, WILL BE MINE.



Dixon CONTINUES HONKING HORN TO GET R. Martienz's ATTENTION. R. Martienz IGNORES HIM BY DOWNING A CAN OF GUINESS.




MOTORIST: (raised voice)

SHUT UP. there is no need for all this racket so early in the morning



Dixon: (jotting down websites; Dating sites, on truck and its licence's plate number)

Mind your business!



R. Martienz (YELLS)

Will you stop honking that horn SO early in the morning. What's your problem? MORON! You choose the wrong day to mess with me



Dixon AND BRAUN stop honking but turns up the volume on whitney houston's I will always love you



R. Martienz SINGS Rebecca Ferguson's "Your A Dumbass" at them.



Kids:


Dad, Whitney Houston is dead. They are grieving



R. Martienz: (to his kids)

So I'm not the only one feeling the loss. They have a funny way of showing it though...ANYWAY, LET'S GO! If I waste a minute more with these IDIOTS, we'll lose the free airport parking. I don't want your mum to nag me if I don't get her christmas dresses



KIDS: (GIGGLE)

That sounds strictly final. RIP Whitney Houston

................................................................


SIDEWALK THEATRE and SIDEWALK LOOKS http://www.facebook.com/allthaTRAGE

SIDEWALK LOOKS http://sidewalknarratives.blogspot.com/

DRIVING.... ME CRAZY

Guiness truck driver, BONDS:(jumps in truck)

Kids, sit back relax and enjoy. I'll be playing a new game on the road today. I will attempt to run EVERY mini car off the road. Whoever sees the first mini car, just shout START


ROAD PRESENTER James:

Welcome. I'm James, the doyenne of sidewalk presenters..On the other side of town, TRAWICK is looking forward to wonderful things happening to him on the road. Because of past experiences, however, he is a little anxious. He and BONDS are complete srangers and it's very unlikley they'll run into each other. Let's keep our fingers crossed for them. for TRAWICK. That BONDS seems to be a perfidious character.




TRAWICK (praying as he gets in car)

I hope squirrels do not run across the road WHEN i'M DRIVING, I hear that's bad luck. Help me save any pet animal that gets in the way, I don't wanna break any young kids heart. I DON'T WANT TO BE RUN OFF THE ROAD AGAIN. Instead, let me see shooting stars hovering above, so all my wishes can come through. aMEN


TRAWICK STOPS TO ALLOW KIDS TO CROSS ROAD. KIDS WAVE AND DISPLAY THUMBS UP

HE SMILES




JAMES (notices Bonds's truck several feet behing TRAWICK's car)

This is funny, odd, awkward. it's too late for TRAWICK to turn back now. For how much longer will he be safe?


Kid HURD: (notices TRAWICK'S mini car)

S T A R T T TT!!!!!!!



KID Christopher


NO!!!




HURD

What are you scared of this time?


BONDS: (to CHRISTOPHER)

He's driving too SLOW son. I must teach him a lesson.



CHRISTOPHER:

Is that right dad?



DAD:(harrumphs)


Not really,BUT HE'S DRIVING.... ME CRAZY



CHRISTOPHER:

DAD! That's too dangerous.



HURD:

Such a girl.



BONDS:


OKAY okay. STOP IT you two. Hurd, everyday, you remind me of me; I was a feral child as well....Anyway, I will not run him off the road, I will just creep up on him until I'm a few feet away from his bumper.



CHRISTOPHER:

HURRAH! This is the dad I like



HURD:

Same here



AFTER A FEW MINUTES



BONDS:

Sorry kids. I'm getting bored of this. This is not a game anymore. I have to GET HIM OUT OF THE WAY



CHRISTOPHER:

NO! calm down dad. And keep your hands on the wheels...the STEERING WHEEL



HURD:

Just be careful dad, CHRIS is very terrified




BONDS LAUGHS AS HE ZIG ZAGS BEHIND TRAWICK'S CAR



SIDEWALK PRESENTER JAMES: Don't be fooled by the bright lights and the blaring music from the vehicles. They are just a penumbra of something sinister. ANGER. Anger is becoming more and more ubiquitous these days. The road is a Mecca for angry motorists, so you can count on a showdown between these two.




TRAWICK (shouts)

hey. YOU JERK! watch how you drive. You're going too fast and too dangerously. Do you prefer to lose your life in a moment than to lose just a moment of your life by being patient and courteous?



BONDS:(indicates middle finger, then accelerates)


Slow drivers like you should be behind me, not BEFORE




CHRISTOPHER SCREAMS



HURD:


You'll have to leave him at home tomorrow dad. He has no guts for this fun game.




TRAWICK:(Cuts speed as BOND'S car edges closer and closer, menacingly)

I swear, if you hit my bumper today, I am suing you TODAY



BONDS:

WHATEVER!




LOUD BANG as TRAWICK'S car careers off the road and into a filthy ditch.



TRAWICK:

Are you trying to kill us, YOU DRUNK



BRAUN:(wakens from passenger's seat of TRAWICK'S car)

CRAZY!!! I bet he was was eating while driving



TRAWICK:

God knows. Maybe he was just tweeting Christmas messages. Ugh!




PEDESTRIAN Craig:

Jesus Christ! Are you okay down there?


BRAUN:

We are fine thanks, just a little frightened...




TRAWICK:


....and wet. I urinated on myself



CRAIG: (Turns head away to disguise a snigger)

Thank God You are not hurt....Are you OKk?



BRAUN (sarcastically)


No. WE ARE KNOCKED OUT, YOU IDIOT...WE'RE FINE, THANKS



CRAIG:


No fractures or broken ribs?



TRAWICK(drives car out of ditch, onto road again)


WE ARE FINE!



CRAIG:

Calm down. I'm just trying to help. The last time I saw someone got ran off the road, the suffered fractures and broken ribs. They ended up in the hospital. never mind. I will pray for you nonetheless.



BRAUN:

Thanks. But we're fine now.




CRAIG:

I can help.




TRAWICK SPEEDS UNTIL HE CATCHES BONDS AT THE TRAFFIC LIGHTS. HE PULLS UP ALONGSIDE BOND'S TRUCK,THEN HONKS HORN LOUDLY




CHRISTOPHER:

Tomorrow we will just walk



HURD:

Speak for yourself!



BONDS:

You'll do no such thing. Not while I have this truck. Too much walking isn't good for your little feet




CHRISTOPHER:

We found some money yesterday when we walked. So walking isn't that bad



BONDS:

REALLY! It was your lucky day son. I'll let you walk from now on then, but any money you find, WILL BE MINE.



TRAWICK CONTINUES HONKING HORN TO GET BOND'S ATTENTION. BONDS IGNORES HIM BY DOWNING A CAN OF GUINESS.




MOTORISTS: (raised voice)

SHUT UP. there is no need for all this racket so early in the morning



TRAWICK: (jotting down websites; Dating sites, on truck and its licence's plate number)

Mind your business



BONDS (YELLS)

Will you stop honking that horn SO early in the morning. What's your problem? MORON! You choose the wrong day to mess with me


TRAWICK AND BRAUN SINGS Rebecca Ferguson's "Your A Dumbass" at BONDS



BONDS: (to his kids)

They're just jealous of my Plus size clothing, 0% credit cards and Samsung Galaxy Tab



KIDS GIGGLE


.....................................................
SIDEWALK THEATRE and SIDEWALK LOOKS http://www.facebook.com/allthaTRAGE

SIDEWALK LOOKS http://sidewalknarratives.blogspot.com/

blackberry map

Sidewalk Presenter Probst Pujols:

...rick perry ad plays in CAR WITH PASSENGERS GAY, LITTLE, the pugilistic sidewalk champion DONOVAN, AND NICOLAS as it HALTS ON SIDE OF THE ROAD....There is something for everyone on the sidewalk today; Lingerie, TV packages, Millets sale, Dating sites, replicas of Pendle witches and Pygmy elephant.



Gay:(shuts off engine)

Mum. wake up!



Little: (yawns, unfastens her seat belt)


We reach the sidewalk already? Great. much quicker than riding on Bendy buses. I'm so glad to see the back of them. I would'nt want to miss the sidewalk Christmas markets for Evening dresses, Cheap holidays etc




Gay:

Yes Mum. Thanks to my blackberry map. It gave me important traffic updates so I could avoid congested areas.



Little:

I hope it was a great idea to be early. Park the car here please. I want to be first in the SIDEWALK'S SALE queue for Gifts under £10, Cheap laptops and secret santa gifts... Shxt! the sidewalk is empty. Where are all the vendors and pedestrians. Even the road is empty. Not even a bendy bus in sight.



Nicolas: (slams car door, reaches for Samsung Galaxy S2 in pocket, then starts to write a text)

We are 2 hours EARLY. What do you expect? I told you we should have dropped off donovan at his elementary school before we come here. UGH!



Little:

Even a child should never miss a good sidewalk sale, even if it's for lingerie. we'll drop him off later. It's raining, so his teacher will be late anyway.



Nicolas:

Mum, Frankie is only five. He has no interest in Samsung Galaxy, Evening dresses or whatever else is in the DAMN sidewalk sale..Frankly, I would prefer to be stucked in traffic in some CONGESTED AREAS than waiting around in a cold, wet car for ages by the sidewalk




GAY:

SHUT UP! And stop telling lies. The car is not cold. You were so excited when I lent it to you yesterday. So I have no idea why today, you tergiversate and complain so much about it. You rather get here late and MISS all the bargains?



Little:

Gay, I'm so IMPRESSED with your BlackBerry Curve. I will have to get one for myself. It's my favourite of the Christmas gadgets...It seems pretty useful. Can't wait to get lost in it when I'm on the sidewalk.



donovan:

Aunty, you're just too, too, too, MATURE for a blackberry



Little:

What do you mean Donovan?




Nicolas:

Mum, you use both the sidewalk and the road everyday, who do you see using blackberrys the most?



Little:

desean and the Teenagers, eddie and young adults...



Donovan:

...I rest my case

.....................................................
SIDEWALK THEATRE and SIDEWALK LOOKS http://www.facebook.com/allthaTRAGE

SIDEWALK LOOKS http://sidewalknarratives.blogspot.com/

Child's Play on the sidewalk

Today, your obstreperous sidewalk Presenter is, ME, Mueller...These pedestrians are ruminating on some of the things that annoys them on the sidewalk; leaflets about Unlimited broadband, New car deals, Cheap holidays and the chatter of kids playing hopscotch, riding bikes and playing other games along the sidewalk. Today, we will feature a motorist who hates it when pedestrians get in the way when he drives on the sidewalk. IT DRIVES HIM INSANE...


Houghton:

Will these shoes fit my 8 year daughter?


Nintendo 3DS VENDOR, bob costas:

It's for an adult, so I don't think so.


Houghton:

Try on this pair of shoes Adele


CHILD

It's a size 14, I am a size 4


Houghton(shouts)

TRY IT ON!


Child Pat Sharp:

NO!


Houghton:

Don't you like it?


CHILD

Yes. But it's too big for me. ARGH!


PAT SEES HER FRIENDS HAVING A GOOD TIME ON THE SIDEWALK, RUNS AND JOIN THEM.


Houghton:

She had a long day at church, I thought she would be very tired. So I'm surprised she prefers to run off with her friends ON THE SIDEWALK instead of coming STRAIGHT home with me. UGH!


JOGGER Kimono

LEAVE THEM ALONE. Obviously, they are just making the most of their last day of freedom and safety on the sidewalk


matt schaub

What do you mean?



Fedotowsky, a well-known sidewalk vendor, urinates in the middle of the sidewalk. He is interuppted by the noise from the approaching children. He chuckles as the steam from the urine rises into the air. His dog watches closely, so are motorists, pedestrians, cyclists and other vendors.



DRIVER, Peterson, IN PARKED CAR:

The sidewalk would be lifeless without these blessed kids? Bless them


matt schaub:

Ahhhh!


Fedotowsky quickly zips his trousers and hurrys away before the children sees him. Rodriguez and all the other pedestrians burst into a raucous laughter.



LATER




CHILD, Stallone WALKS INTO CYCLIST Stacy Keibler 's PATH


Stacy Keibler: The sun is going down, why are these kids on the sidewalk so LATE. UGH! GET THE HELL OUT OF THE WAY. DON'T THEY HAVE iPad 3 or Contract phones TO GO HOME AND PLAY WITH?




matt schaub

uppity: I don't know. ASK Megyn. I'm just the Presenter. YOU SHOULD ALWAYS BE LOOKING OUT FOR KIDS WHEN YOU CYCLE ON THE SIDEWALK....I got here a few minutes ago. Do you know why one of your fellow pedestrians said that the children are making the most of their last day of safety and freedom on the sidewalk?



megyn:

Maybe too many adults will on the sidewalk during thanksgiving. I DON'T KNOW. Ask one of the other pedestrians. UGH!




PEDESTRIANS SHRUGS




Kid:

Will you spray paint me? Please




Stacy Keibler:

No. Go home! Your parents probably wondering where you are


CHILD:

Please! Our parents know where we are



Stacy Keibler:


I don't know how to spray paint. Ask your parent



A kit kat falls from one of the children. Stacy Keibler
sees, picks it up and devours it before its rightful owner ask any question.




Some children are using BlackBerry phones to recreate the routines in Beyonce dance for you video, whereas, others are writing their names on the sidewalk with bits of paper. They are worried the wind will blow it away, but it passes without harm.


They clap and cheer.


MATT

However, they are not so lucky when Stacy Keibler
notices what they are doing.




Stacy Keibler: (screams)

GO AWAY!



Stacy Keibler brushes away all the bits of paper.


MATT

Where is this person's sense of humour?



PEDESTRIAN gabby giffords

Leave them kids alone! YOU A TEACHER OR SOMETHING? Why do you target them?




Stacy Keibler

NO! They are taking up the WHOLE sidewalk, creating a nuisance and defacing the sidewalk, ride their bikes, making noises



PEDESTRIAN gabby giffords

I am so perplexed why you, of all people, can be so inconsiderate towards these kids who are only trying to enjoy themselves one last time.



Stacy Keibler:

Pass me my Raincoats. I DON'T WISH SPEAK TO YOU. UGH!



MATT

Will someone PLEASE tell me what the HELL IS GOING ON? aRE THESE KIDS TERMINAL OR WHAT?



Stacy Keibler:

I think she is terminal, not the kids. NOT ME



PEDESTRIAN gabby giffords:

Heard your grand dad will be driving his car again starting TOMORROW. No wonder the kids are terrified of walking on the sidewalk EVER again. Both you and him are terminal



Stacy Keibler:

If the kids play on the sidewalk and refrain from wandering in the road, they should be fine. You said so yourself, so there is no need to tergiversate now. The kids have no reasons to be scared of Grand dad



PEDESTRIAN gabby giffords

EXCUSE ME. they have every reason to be scared of him. HE FINDS IT HARD TO KEEP OFF THE SIDEWALK WHEN HE DRIVES


MATT

Oh!



A CHILD SCREAMS FURTHER DOWN THE SIDEWALK



Stacy Keibler:

There’s a WOMAN dragging her child by an ear down the sidewalk why don’t you say something to her. That child is in danger


PEDESTRIAN gabby giffords

If she wants a child without an ear, that’s her business

.................................................................
SIDEWALK THEATRE and SIDEWALK LOOKS http://www.facebook.com/allthaTRAGE

SIDEWALK LOOKS http://sidewalknarratives.blogspot.com/

skater falls on sidewalk

SIDEWALK FM PLAYS AVRIL ALVIGNE'S 'SKATER BOY.' Everyone watches in awe as CL P skates skillfully down the sidewalk with two bags of groceries in both hands. The approaching skaters, afraid of falling or colliding with him, looked quite stiff. However, you could tell that CL P had skated before. To the admiring pedestrians and onlookers, he displays poise, grace and a swagger.


CL P swerves just a bit to avoid a pot hole. Everyone jumps and gasps. He smiles to assure them that he is STILL in FULL control.



CHEERING AND APPLAUSE



Some mangoes fall from one of CL P's grocery bags as he attempts some skateboard tricks. He tried to hold the bags proplerly, lost control, then fell in the split position, on the bags.



CL P:

OUCH!!!Holy crap.



HARD LAUGHTER

Pedestrians normally find it hilarious when skaters fall, especially after failing to accomplish attempted tricks.



CL P is badly bruised. He groans as he eases himself off the crushed vegetables and fruits. To make matters worse, in an attempt to get his skateboard off the ground, he kicks its edge, but fails to catch it, so it flies straight into his groin.


HOLDING HIS GROIN AREA, HE GROANS



LAUGHTER




hocus pocus:

He looks like someone just beat him up. OUCH!


Billie Piper:

Whoever said today was'nt gonna be boring, GOT IT WRONG


LAUGHTER


hocus pocus:

Indeed, today is gonna be a great day on the sidewalk


Billie Piper:

Ouch, ouch, ouch. Good thing I brought my camera. I can make some serious money from spectacles like this



hocus pocus:

Too bad, there is no carpet on the sidewalk to cushion his FALL..



Billie Piper:

...FAIL!



LAUGHTER



hocus pocus:

All his swagger has been lost now



Billie Piper:

OUCH!



hocus pocus:

He should stick to walking on the sidewalk



LAUGHTER






CL P BLEEDS FROM THE SIDE OF HIS FACE. PEOPLE RUSH TO HIS RESCUE



Billie Piper:

Are you okay?


CL P:

Think I suffered a concussion


hocus pocus:

Did you hit your head?


CL P:

NO!


hocus pocus:

It's not a concussion then. You are just feeling light-HEADED



Billie Piper:

Doctor on the sidewalk!


LAUGHTER



hocus pocus:

SHUT UP, YOU MITTLE!


CL P:

OUCH!


HOCUS POCUS SHOOTS CL P A DIRTY LOOK


CL P:

I'M IN PAIN, REMEMBER?


hocus pocus:

WHATEVER! anyway, I know a injury lawyer...


CL P takes one last look at everyone then walk away as if nothing had happened.


..................................................
SIDEWALK THEATRE and SIDEWALK LOOKS http://www.facebook.com/allthaTRAGE

SIDEWALK LOOKS http://sidewalknarratives.blogspot.com/

clash on bus

Passengers pour off packed bus. African tries to board, realizing that he is unlikely to land himself a seat, took off his cap and quickly threw it on a newly vacant seat. 'I'm gonna sit there', he announces.

An african already on board, hisses his teeth, pushes the cap aside and plants himself on the seat.



scott hall:

Can't you see my cap on it? It's MY seat. UGH!



Kara Tointon:

I been standing on the bus for hours. You're not even on board as yet, yet you are DEMANDING SEAT. UGH



scott hall

IT DOES NOT MATTER! you should just let me have the seat since my cap is on it. thats my roots. UGH!


PASSENGERS PUT AWAY THEIR SMARTPHONES, BOOKS AND TABLETS, EAGER TO WITNESS THE CLASH ESCALATE.



Kara Tointon:

sorry, you're not in Africa, YOU'RE NOT IN AFRICA


Scott takes up his cap then turn his back on Kara.



Hayley Roberts

PUNCH HIM!



lindsey lohan:

Two grown men with no courtesy for the kids on board. It's too early for this bullshit. STOP IT!


scott hall:

EARLY? I am so late for work


EXCITED LAUGHTER


scott hall GETS OFF AT NEXT STOP



Kara Tointon:

COWARD!



scott hall:

Actually, this is my INTENDED stop.



Hayley Roberts:

Damn! I thought they would exchange blows over the seat


lindsey lohan:

That would have been pretty exciting stuff



Hayley Roberts

Sometime when I'm on a packed bus I would vacate my seat long before I reach my stop



lindsey lohan:

THAT'S THOUGHTFUL OF YOU. I do the same for pensioners, disabled people or people with babies. YOU?



Hayley Roberts:


I do it just to observe other passengers fighting for it. HILARIOUS!

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