Today, your obstreperous sidewalk Presenter is, ME, Mueller...These pedestrians are ruminating on some of the things that annoys them on the sidewalk; leaflets about Unlimited broadband, New car deals, Cheap holidays and the chatter of kids playing hopscotch, riding bikes and playing other games along the sidewalk. Today, we will feature a motorist who hates it when pedestrians get in the way when he drives on the sidewalk. IT DRIVES HIM INSANE...
Houghton:
Will these shoes fit my 8 year daughter?
Nintendo 3DS VENDOR, bob costas:
It's for an adult, so I don't think so.
Houghton:
Try on this pair of shoes Adele
CHILD
It's a size 14, I am a size 4
Houghton(shouts)
TRY IT ON!
Child Pat Sharp:
NO!
Houghton:
Don't you like it?
CHILD
Yes. But it's too big for me. ARGH!
PAT SEES HER FRIENDS HAVING A GOOD TIME ON THE SIDEWALK, RUNS AND JOIN THEM.
Houghton:
She had a long day at church, I thought she would be very tired. So I'm surprised she prefers to run off with her friends ON THE SIDEWALK instead of coming STRAIGHT home with me. UGH!
JOGGER Kimono
LEAVE THEM ALONE. Obviously, they are just making the most of their last day of freedom and safety on the sidewalk
matt schaub
What do you mean?
Fedotowsky, a well-known sidewalk vendor, urinates in the middle of the sidewalk. He is interuppted by the noise from the approaching children. He chuckles as the steam from the urine rises into the air. His dog watches closely, so are motorists, pedestrians, cyclists and other vendors.
DRIVER, Peterson, IN PARKED CAR:
The sidewalk would be lifeless without these blessed kids? Bless them
matt schaub:
Ahhhh!
Fedotowsky quickly zips his trousers and hurrys away before the children sees him. Rodriguez and all the other pedestrians burst into a raucous laughter.
LATER
CHILD, Stallone WALKS INTO CYCLIST Stacy Keibler 's PATH
Stacy Keibler: The sun is going down, why are these kids on the sidewalk so LATE. UGH! GET THE HELL OUT OF THE WAY. DON'T THEY HAVE iPad 3 or Contract phones TO GO HOME AND PLAY WITH?
matt schaub
uppity: I don't know. ASK Megyn. I'm just the Presenter. YOU SHOULD ALWAYS BE LOOKING OUT FOR KIDS WHEN YOU CYCLE ON THE SIDEWALK....I got here a few minutes ago. Do you know why one of your fellow pedestrians said that the children are making the most of their last day of safety and freedom on the sidewalk?
megyn:
Maybe too many adults will on the sidewalk during thanksgiving. I DON'T KNOW. Ask one of the other pedestrians. UGH!
PEDESTRIANS SHRUGS
Kid:
Will you spray paint me? Please
Stacy Keibler:
No. Go home! Your parents probably wondering where you are
CHILD:
Please! Our parents know where we are
Stacy Keibler:
I don't know how to spray paint. Ask your parent
A kit kat falls from one of the children. Stacy Keibler
sees, picks it up and devours it before its rightful owner ask any question.
Some children are using BlackBerry phones to recreate the routines in Beyonce dance for you video, whereas, others are writing their names on the sidewalk with bits of paper. They are worried the wind will blow it away, but it passes without harm.
They clap and cheer.
MATT
However, they are not so lucky when Stacy Keibler
notices what they are doing.
Stacy Keibler: (screams)
GO AWAY!
Stacy Keibler brushes away all the bits of paper.
MATT
Where is this person's sense of humour?
PEDESTRIAN gabby giffords
Leave them kids alone! YOU A TEACHER OR SOMETHING? Why do you target them?
Stacy Keibler
NO! They are taking up the WHOLE sidewalk, creating a nuisance and defacing the sidewalk, ride their bikes, making noises
PEDESTRIAN gabby giffords
I am so perplexed why you, of all people, can be so inconsiderate towards these kids who are only trying to enjoy themselves one last time.
Stacy Keibler:
Pass me my Raincoats. I DON'T WISH SPEAK TO YOU. UGH!
MATT
Will someone PLEASE tell me what the HELL IS GOING ON? aRE THESE KIDS TERMINAL OR WHAT?
Stacy Keibler:
I think she is terminal, not the kids. NOT ME
PEDESTRIAN gabby giffords:
Heard your grand dad will be driving his car again starting TOMORROW. No wonder the kids are terrified of walking on the sidewalk EVER again. Both you and him are terminal
Stacy Keibler:
If the kids play on the sidewalk and refrain from wandering in the road, they should be fine. You said so yourself, so there is no need to tergiversate now. The kids have no reasons to be scared of Grand dad
PEDESTRIAN gabby giffords
EXCUSE ME. they have every reason to be scared of him. HE FINDS IT HARD TO KEEP OFF THE SIDEWALK WHEN HE DRIVES
MATT
Oh!
A CHILD SCREAMS FURTHER DOWN THE SIDEWALK
Stacy Keibler:
There’s a WOMAN dragging her child by an ear down the sidewalk why don’t you say something to her. That child is in danger
PEDESTRIAN gabby giffords
If she wants a child without an ear, that’s her business
.................................................................
SIDEWALK THEATRE and SIDEWALK LOOKS http://www.facebook.com/allthaTRAGE
SIDEWALK LOOKS http://sidewalknarratives.blogspot.com/
Showing posts with label personal things sidewalk drama life door. Show all posts
Showing posts with label personal things sidewalk drama life door. Show all posts
Tuesday, 15 November 2011
Sunday, 30 October 2011
skater falls on sidewalk
SIDEWALK FM PLAYS AVRIL ALVIGNE'S 'SKATER BOY.' Everyone watches in awe as CL P skates skillfully down the sidewalk with two bags of groceries in both hands. The approaching skaters, afraid of falling or colliding with him, looked quite stiff. However, you could tell that CL P had skated before. To the admiring pedestrians and onlookers, he displays poise, grace and a swagger.
CL P swerves just a bit to avoid a pot hole. Everyone jumps and gasps. He smiles to assure them that he is STILL in FULL control.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Some mangoes fall from one of CL P's grocery bags as he attempts some skateboard tricks. He tried to hold the bags proplerly, lost control, then fell in the split position, on the bags.
CL P:
OUCH!!!Holy crap.
HARD LAUGHTER
Pedestrians normally find it hilarious when skaters fall, especially after failing to accomplish attempted tricks.
CL P is badly bruised. He groans as he eases himself off the crushed vegetables and fruits. To make matters worse, in an attempt to get his skateboard off the ground, he kicks its edge, but fails to catch it, so it flies straight into his groin.
HOLDING HIS GROIN AREA, HE GROANS
LAUGHTER
hocus pocus:
He looks like someone just beat him up. OUCH!
Billie Piper:
Whoever said today was'nt gonna be boring, GOT IT WRONG
LAUGHTER
hocus pocus:
Indeed, today is gonna be a great day on the sidewalk
Billie Piper:
Ouch, ouch, ouch. Good thing I brought my camera. I can make some serious money from spectacles like this
hocus pocus:
Too bad, there is no carpet on the sidewalk to cushion his FALL..
Billie Piper:
...FAIL!
LAUGHTER
hocus pocus:
All his swagger has been lost now
Billie Piper:
OUCH!
hocus pocus:
He should stick to walking on the sidewalk
LAUGHTER
CL P BLEEDS FROM THE SIDE OF HIS FACE. PEOPLE RUSH TO HIS RESCUE
Billie Piper:
Are you okay?
CL P:
Think I suffered a concussion
hocus pocus:
Did you hit your head?
CL P:
NO!
hocus pocus:
It's not a concussion then. You are just feeling light-HEADED
Billie Piper:
Doctor on the sidewalk!
LAUGHTER
hocus pocus:
SHUT UP, YOU MITTLE!
CL P:
OUCH!
HOCUS POCUS SHOOTS CL P A DIRTY LOOK
CL P:
I'M IN PAIN, REMEMBER?
hocus pocus:
WHATEVER! anyway, I know a injury lawyer...
CL P takes one last look at everyone then walk away as if nothing had happened.
..................................................
SIDEWALK THEATRE and SIDEWALK LOOKS http://www.facebook.com/allthaTRAGE
SIDEWALK LOOKS http://sidewalknarratives.blogspot.com/
CL P swerves just a bit to avoid a pot hole. Everyone jumps and gasps. He smiles to assure them that he is STILL in FULL control.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Some mangoes fall from one of CL P's grocery bags as he attempts some skateboard tricks. He tried to hold the bags proplerly, lost control, then fell in the split position, on the bags.
CL P:
OUCH!!!Holy crap.
HARD LAUGHTER
Pedestrians normally find it hilarious when skaters fall, especially after failing to accomplish attempted tricks.
CL P is badly bruised. He groans as he eases himself off the crushed vegetables and fruits. To make matters worse, in an attempt to get his skateboard off the ground, he kicks its edge, but fails to catch it, so it flies straight into his groin.
HOLDING HIS GROIN AREA, HE GROANS
LAUGHTER
hocus pocus:
He looks like someone just beat him up. OUCH!
Billie Piper:
Whoever said today was'nt gonna be boring, GOT IT WRONG
LAUGHTER
hocus pocus:
Indeed, today is gonna be a great day on the sidewalk
Billie Piper:
Ouch, ouch, ouch. Good thing I brought my camera. I can make some serious money from spectacles like this
hocus pocus:
Too bad, there is no carpet on the sidewalk to cushion his FALL..
Billie Piper:
...FAIL!
LAUGHTER
hocus pocus:
All his swagger has been lost now
Billie Piper:
OUCH!
hocus pocus:
He should stick to walking on the sidewalk
LAUGHTER
CL P BLEEDS FROM THE SIDE OF HIS FACE. PEOPLE RUSH TO HIS RESCUE
Billie Piper:
Are you okay?
CL P:
Think I suffered a concussion
hocus pocus:
Did you hit your head?
CL P:
NO!
hocus pocus:
It's not a concussion then. You are just feeling light-HEADED
Billie Piper:
Doctor on the sidewalk!
LAUGHTER
hocus pocus:
SHUT UP, YOU MITTLE!
CL P:
OUCH!
HOCUS POCUS SHOOTS CL P A DIRTY LOOK
CL P:
I'M IN PAIN, REMEMBER?
hocus pocus:
WHATEVER! anyway, I know a injury lawyer...
CL P takes one last look at everyone then walk away as if nothing had happened.
..................................................
SIDEWALK THEATRE and SIDEWALK LOOKS http://www.facebook.com/allthaTRAGE
SIDEWALK LOOKS http://sidewalknarratives.blogspot.com/
Thursday, 22 September 2011
Meg Whitman and Rihanna see condom on the sidewalk
GRRR Meg Whitman:
LOOK!
UGH Rihanna:
What is it?
GRRR:
NOTHING! Just a random condom on the sidewalk. I wonder how it got here.
UGH: (turns face away)
I HAVE NO IDEA! Can't you see I'm eating my Big Mac. UGH! PLEASE talk about something more pleasant or SHUT THE HELL UP!...People are so UNSAVOURY these days. UGH!
GRRR:
Unlike you, there is no doubt that these UNSAVOURY people use protection. You should follow their example. It's NEVER too late to start. I'll pick up this ONE for you
UGH:
For heaven sake! NO! WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH IT. Are you out of your mind? PICK IT UP FOR YOURSELF! ARGHH!
GRRR:
Chum, this is your chance to do your bit for the environment. RECYCLE IT!
UGH:
HELL NO! I can't do that. THERE ARE ANTS ALL OVER IT. YUCK!
GRRR:
Its’ very good for them; packed with vitamins, proteins and minerals, VITAMINS…
UGH:
…THAT'S DISGUSTING!
GRRR:
They are having the blood also
UGH:
STOP! PLEASE!
GRRR:(cackles)
Okay. Look where you're walking...You just stepped on another condom
UGH:
DAMN! There are so many trash cans on the sidewalk. WHY THE HELL are these people REFUSING to use them?
GRRR:
I have no idea
UGH: (mutters to himself)
One hundred and twenty third day of the year, so far I have seen 17 condoms on the sidewalk. UGH!!!
GRRR
Here is another one. Shall I pick it up for you?
UGH:
NO!
GRRR:
There are no ants on it.
ARGH:
I DON'T CARE
GRRR:
It is UNOPENED also
ARGH:
BUT, BUT but...
GRRR:
If you had looked at them when I invited you to do so, you would have seen that for yourself
ARGH: (chases GRRR)
You made me feel nauseous over NOTHING?...Wait till I get my hands on you...
GRRR: (running away)
Spare me and I will give you BOTH OF THEM
..................................................
SIDEWALK THEATRE and SIDEWALK LOOKS http://www.facebook.com/allthaTRAGE
SIDEWALK LOOKS http://sidewalknarratives.blogspot.com/
LOOK!
UGH Rihanna:
What is it?
GRRR:
NOTHING! Just a random condom on the sidewalk. I wonder how it got here.
UGH: (turns face away)
I HAVE NO IDEA! Can't you see I'm eating my Big Mac. UGH! PLEASE talk about something more pleasant or SHUT THE HELL UP!...People are so UNSAVOURY these days. UGH!
GRRR:
Unlike you, there is no doubt that these UNSAVOURY people use protection. You should follow their example. It's NEVER too late to start. I'll pick up this ONE for you
UGH:
For heaven sake! NO! WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH IT. Are you out of your mind? PICK IT UP FOR YOURSELF! ARGHH!
GRRR:
Chum, this is your chance to do your bit for the environment. RECYCLE IT!
UGH:
HELL NO! I can't do that. THERE ARE ANTS ALL OVER IT. YUCK!
GRRR:
Its’ very good for them; packed with vitamins, proteins and minerals, VITAMINS…
UGH:
…THAT'S DISGUSTING!
GRRR:
They are having the blood also
UGH:
STOP! PLEASE!
GRRR:(cackles)
Okay. Look where you're walking...You just stepped on another condom
UGH:
DAMN! There are so many trash cans on the sidewalk. WHY THE HELL are these people REFUSING to use them?
GRRR:
I have no idea
UGH: (mutters to himself)
One hundred and twenty third day of the year, so far I have seen 17 condoms on the sidewalk. UGH!!!
GRRR
Here is another one. Shall I pick it up for you?
UGH:
NO!
GRRR:
There are no ants on it.
ARGH:
I DON'T CARE
GRRR:
It is UNOPENED also
ARGH:
BUT, BUT but...
GRRR:
If you had looked at them when I invited you to do so, you would have seen that for yourself
ARGH: (chases GRRR)
You made me feel nauseous over NOTHING?...Wait till I get my hands on you...
GRRR: (running away)
Spare me and I will give you BOTH OF THEM
..................................................
SIDEWALK THEATRE and SIDEWALK LOOKS http://www.facebook.com/allthaTRAGE
SIDEWALK LOOKS http://sidewalknarratives.blogspot.com/
Friday, 19 August 2011
all your things are on the sidewalk. BYE!
GRR piling up UGH’s personal things on the sidewalk.
GRR:
You attract too much DRAMA in my life. GET OUT!
UGH: (feebly)
But, but…TOGETHER, we planned to watch the DAILY SHOW tonight and....and Fright Night when it releases..
GRR:
...But nothing…You're the fright. Please DON’T knock on my door. These are all of your things.
UGH slaps GRR in her face. GRR retaliated by repeatedly kicking and punching UGH to the ground. UGH lay still for a moment. When she sees a riot policeman remonstrating with a protestor, she holds her belly and cries out in agony.
POLICE:
You’re under arrest.
GRR: Life’s a BICH!
POLICE:
Hold your head up….now LOOK at the tears streaming down that poor girl’s face. SLAPPING another girl on a busy sidewalk is an ASSAULT.
UGH: BUT, BUT!...
GRR runs inside and slams the door shut. While the cop frog-marches UGH towards the waiting car, opportunistic onlookers start to help themselves to her stuffs.
GRR appears in her front window.
UGH:
GRR! GRR! GRR!
GRR
I have no pity for you. GO TO HELL!
GRR:
You attract too much DRAMA in my life. GET OUT!
UGH: (feebly)
But, but…TOGETHER, we planned to watch the DAILY SHOW tonight and....and Fright Night when it releases..
GRR:
...But nothing…You're the fright. Please DON’T knock on my door. These are all of your things.
UGH slaps GRR in her face. GRR retaliated by repeatedly kicking and punching UGH to the ground. UGH lay still for a moment. When she sees a riot policeman remonstrating with a protestor, she holds her belly and cries out in agony.
POLICE:
You’re under arrest.
GRR: Life’s a BICH!
POLICE:
Hold your head up….now LOOK at the tears streaming down that poor girl’s face. SLAPPING another girl on a busy sidewalk is an ASSAULT.
UGH: BUT, BUT!...
GRR runs inside and slams the door shut. While the cop frog-marches UGH towards the waiting car, opportunistic onlookers start to help themselves to her stuffs.
GRR appears in her front window.
UGH:
GRR! GRR! GRR!
GRR
I have no pity for you. GO TO HELL!
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