Tuesday, 9 August 2011
sidewalk adventure
PEDESTRIAN STEPS ON BACK OF GRRR's SHOE BUT DID NOT STOP TO ACKNOWLEDGE OR APOLOGISE
Grrr: OUCH! That HURTS you know. HEB!
GRRR STOPS AND PUT SHOES BACK ON
PEDESTRIAN (laughs) stop being such a baby. You don't have to get angry....
GRRR: damn it! but you do it ALL THE TIME and it's ANNOYING. You should be thankful you're not some other pedestrian
PEDESTRIAN: Interesting. So if I were just SOME OTHER pedestrain, and not your partner, what would happen? Curse me?...
GRRR: (laughing)...YES!...and kick your ass. Seriously, I HATE when some MISCREANT fail to look where they are walking and steps on my shoe, especially if he/she not does not APOLOGISE
PEDESTRIAN: I consider myself LUCKY
GRRR: VERY!
http://www.facebook.com/allthatrage
Road Sideshow
ARGGH: Relax!
GRRR:
FX! its hard! local news was right; there are DAMN road works everywhere, and these motorists driving like LEARNERS make it even more unbearable
ARGGH:
TAKE A DEEP BREATH!
GRRR:
Don't worry my friend, my horn and fingers never fail me in these situations, so I will be fine
The heat is unbearable and the traffic is hardly moving but ranting and raging is not...
....you slept out most of the traffic so far, so you'll never understand my anguish
Next time, I suggest we leave earlier, put in a lady Gaga cd, make some calls with bluetooth headset and fix the AC in your car. I'm experiencing changes in my life, I can't stand the heat anymore
GRRR:
GET OUT OF MY CAR! if you had fiddle with the wires, the ac would have worked. too late now. GET OUT! its quite cool outside
ARGGH:
You can't leave me in the middle of nowhere! I'm no navy seals
DRIVER FLINGS PASSENGER DOOR OPEN AND PUSHES CHUM OUT ON THE ROAD
GRRR:
I JUST DID. Bye!
ARGGH
I fiddled with THE WIRES, but the stereo stopped working
LISTEN! I just lost 45 minutes in this traffic, fixing AC is the least of my problems. Anyway, you'll find it's very cool outside
http://www.facebook.com/allthatrage
GRRR:
FX! its hard! local news was right; there are DAMN road works everywhere, and these motorists driving like LEARNERS make it even more unbearable
ARGGH:
TAKE A DEEP BREATH!
GRRR:
Don't worry my friend, my horn and fingers never fail me in these situations, so I will be fine
The heat is unbearable and the traffic is hardly moving but ranting and raging is not...
....you slept out most of the traffic so far, so you'll never understand my anguish
Next time, I suggest we leave earlier, put in a lady Gaga cd, make some calls with bluetooth headset and fix the AC in your car. I'm experiencing changes in my life, I can't stand the heat anymore
GRRR:
GET OUT OF MY CAR! if you had fiddle with the wires, the ac would have worked. too late now. GET OUT! its quite cool outside
ARGGH:
You can't leave me in the middle of nowhere! I'm no navy seals
DRIVER FLINGS PASSENGER DOOR OPEN AND PUSHES CHUM OUT ON THE ROAD
GRRR:
I JUST DID. Bye!
ARGGH
I fiddled with THE WIRES, but the stereo stopped working
LISTEN! I just lost 45 minutes in this traffic, fixing AC is the least of my problems. Anyway, you'll find it's very cool outside
http://www.facebook.com/allthatrage
Monday, 8 August 2011
sidewalk sideshow
HOMELESS
CHI, I'm starving, please give ME...
Raging Bull (interrupting)
...do you have any food to spare?
Chum
That's mean!
Raging Bull
He begs me everday, so why can't I do the same to him. JUST FOR ONCE. I am sick and tired of giving away my money and food everyday to people who look fit enough to work. FUDGE!Recession affects me to you know!
HOMELESS(pitifully)
I have not eaten ALL day, can you spare some of your food, PLEASE! I promise I wont bother you no more - when the recession is over.
CHUM
That's no problem. Do you eat pasta with greasy dauphinoise potatoes?
HOMELESS
Never. But I'm willing to try it
RAGING BULL
Well, you should try working for it...
CHUM
BULL! Please! If people like him did not live on the sidewalk day and night, who would be the first person to give us a friendly smile?
Raging Bull
Point taken but can't you see he is taking advantage of our kindness? HE ALREADY HAS ABOUT 15 SANDWICHES. LOOK BEHIND HIS DOG.
CHUM
'OUR kindness?' YOU have NEVER given him anything. We did not give him any of those 15 sandwiches, so it's our turn now to show him some kindness as well
RAGING BULL
I wont be fooled by his lies and poetry
CHUM (hands pasta to homeless)
Here you go. Eat your heart out. Never mind him
HOMELESS (sneezes)
Thanks a million. Can I have that ginger beer as well
RAGING BULL (walking away briskly)
You can borrow my sanitizer. His hairy nostrils must be packed with germs
CHUM
Get lost Bull!...Sorry but I have a serious love affair with ginger beer, so I will not be able to part with it. I WOULD FIGHT ANY ANIMAL, MAN OR ANIMAL WHO DARES TO TAKE IT AWAY FROM ME!
RAGING BULL steps on some broken glass and fell on the concrete
RAGING BULL (whimpers)
Ouch!
HOMELESS DOG looks at Bull on the ground and barks excitedly
RAGING BULL
Darn! Worthless dog didn't even try to catch me! A dog is not a man's best friend. This is why get myself a lovely rabbit
HOMELESS (laughs)
You should learn to stand on your own two feet
CHUM (sternly)
Don't be mean to him, he's still my friend
HOMELESS
Sorry. Good bye then
CHUM
You okay Bull
RAGING BULL
Yes, thanks...My bottom hurts. My ankles are swollen. They feel sprain. Elbow looks broken. All I need is a little vodka. it helped me the last time
CHUM
Well, All I have is my little ginger beer...
HOMELESS (scrambles back towards them)
Vodka is good for falls. I have a few bottles from yesterday
CHUM
You have just made fun of him, so I don't think he will accept...
RAGING BULL
The fall did not hurt my mouth so let me defend myself, please. I think I will ACCEPT it, thanks.
CHUM
His elbow LOOKS broken, so let me hold the vodka for him
RAGING BULL
My elbow FEELS fine. Give me my vodka please
HOMELESS
Calm down you two. Dwarves and prostitutes fought on this same spot. People have been murdered here. So on second thoughts, I think I should keep my vodka. I don't wanto to instigate a crime or violent behaviour
RAGE
Get lost!...And tell whoever threw broken glass on the sidewalk, I am gonna give them a proper beating. I don't mess around. When I am fighting, I am dangerous. I am not a pedestrian anyone should mess with.
DOG whines
CHUM
Tell them to throw their broken glass on the street. Not on the FUDGEING sidewalk. If I catch anyone doing it again, when I finish with them, they will wish they were born at a different time
DOG barks
HOMELESS
I think this will teach them a lesson. They'll be so frightened they will never break the law or throw glass on the sidewalk again.
CHUM
I will let off the MISCREANT this time. But never again. I have eyes all over this sidewalk, so no one do anything without me noticing
Sunday, 7 August 2011
road sideshow
Sidewalk vendor:Enjoy it. So you going home now?
**: No! Not ready yet. The stock market today is too depressing. I'm just gonna sit in the car, rev the engine and honk the horn repeatedly
Sidewalk Vendor: No need to be rude, the traffic will clear soon
**: I wont be rude, I'm just gonna pretend
Sidewalk Vendor: Motorists will think you wanna move the car forward so jump out of the way fast. That could cause confusion and accidents.
** (laughs) I just wanna see the look on their faces when they realize that I'm not moving the car at all
What happens if the car in front of you takes too long to move?
I will just honk my horn louder and rev the engine harder
http://www.facebook.com/allthatrage
**: No! Not ready yet. The stock market today is too depressing. I'm just gonna sit in the car, rev the engine and honk the horn repeatedly
Sidewalk Vendor: No need to be rude, the traffic will clear soon
**: I wont be rude, I'm just gonna pretend
Sidewalk Vendor: Motorists will think you wanna move the car forward so jump out of the way fast. That could cause confusion and accidents.
** (laughs) I just wanna see the look on their faces when they realize that I'm not moving the car at all
What happens if the car in front of you takes too long to move?
I will just honk my horn louder and rev the engine harder
http://www.facebook.com/allthatrage
SIDEWALK SIDESHOW
Vendor1: We are so blessed to have the opportunity to earn our livelihoods on the sidewalk without interference.
Vendor2: I KNOW..What are you on about stephen hawking?
Vendor1: This morning's newsport says the mayor does not allow vending in ST James?
Vendor2: You lost me completely. First of all. What is St James?
Vendor1: YOU ARE TELLING ME, YOU HAVE NEVER HEARD OF ST JAMES?
VENDOR2: Never! Is it a forest?
VENDOR1: NO! SILLY! It's a sidewalk in Spain.
VENDOR: And you expected me to know that?
VENDOR1: You never know when a little general knowledge....
Vendor2: WHATEVER!
VENDOR1: No need to be rude. I am only trying to educate you
VENDOR2: (sings) teachers, leave them kids alone
Vendor1: Well, you are not a kid. In fact you are a GRAND MOTHER
VENDOR2:(quickly scans the sidewalk for anyone in earshot)No need for a blow beneath the belt.
tell me more about St James
VENDOR1: Both consumers and vendors were preparing for and looking forward to the weekend sale.
But the mayor gave strict orders for all vendors to be kicked off the side-walk
VENDOR2: OUCH!That is pure evil!
VENDOR1: I feel for the poor vendors, especially those who have to take care of their families themselves.
VENDOR2: Thank God we have a nice mayor. SO what's the latest? Any developmen?
Vendor1: Yes. The headlines on the radio says vendors who refused to obey the initial instructions, were warned by the police to leave immediately or face confiscation of goods or even arrests
Vendor2: Were any of the vendors granted exemptions? For instance, pensioners or those who who have been vending on the sidewalk for decades.
Vendor1: NOT EVEN ONE! It's a shame, I know.
Vendor2: No, it's a disgrace. reminds me of beauty and the beast
VENDOR1: Some of them are still brave enough to disobey the orders and stay so they can sell to their loyal customers.
Vendor2: With so many vendors unable to sell anything to make make money, it is definitely certain that we will now have a proportionate increase in knife crime, burglaries, mugging and terrorism
VENDOR1: Really!
Vendor2: I KNOW..What are you on about stephen hawking?
Vendor1: This morning's newsport says the mayor does not allow vending in ST James?
Vendor2: You lost me completely. First of all. What is St James?
Vendor1: YOU ARE TELLING ME, YOU HAVE NEVER HEARD OF ST JAMES?
VENDOR2: Never! Is it a forest?
VENDOR1: NO! SILLY! It's a sidewalk in Spain.
VENDOR: And you expected me to know that?
VENDOR1: You never know when a little general knowledge....
Vendor2: WHATEVER!
VENDOR1: No need to be rude. I am only trying to educate you
VENDOR2: (sings) teachers, leave them kids alone
Vendor1: Well, you are not a kid. In fact you are a GRAND MOTHER
VENDOR2:(quickly scans the sidewalk for anyone in earshot)No need for a blow beneath the belt.
tell me more about St James
VENDOR1: Both consumers and vendors were preparing for and looking forward to the weekend sale.
But the mayor gave strict orders for all vendors to be kicked off the side-walk
VENDOR2: OUCH!That is pure evil!
VENDOR1: I feel for the poor vendors, especially those who have to take care of their families themselves.
VENDOR2: Thank God we have a nice mayor. SO what's the latest? Any developmen?
Vendor1: Yes. The headlines on the radio says vendors who refused to obey the initial instructions, were warned by the police to leave immediately or face confiscation of goods or even arrests
Vendor2: Were any of the vendors granted exemptions? For instance, pensioners or those who who have been vending on the sidewalk for decades.
Vendor1: NOT EVEN ONE! It's a shame, I know.
Vendor2: No, it's a disgrace. reminds me of beauty and the beast
VENDOR1: Some of them are still brave enough to disobey the orders and stay so they can sell to their loyal customers.
Vendor2: With so many vendors unable to sell anything to make make money, it is definitely certain that we will now have a proportionate increase in knife crime, burglaries, mugging and terrorism
VENDOR1: Really!
SLICE OF A SIDEWALK
SLICE OF SIDEWALK (Saturday)
Woman: I refuse to pay the full price for a hot dog
Vendor: Your attitude stinks tca. MOVE ALONG TO THE NEXT STALL
Woman: well, there are other vendors nearby, you have no condiments and those hot dogs DO NOT LOOK FRESH
VENDOR: Point taken, I'll give you a discount.
MONDAY MORNING
Woman: (tearful eyes) Here. Take this.
Vendor: Think you made a mistake. Someone else must have lost all this money. Not me
Woman: I'm giving it to you. keep it PLEASE
Vendor: Why me? You don't even know me.
Woman: I'm sorry but when you were opening up this morninG, I overheard you telling your colleague about your child who is about you to be kicked out of school because you're unable pay this terms tuition
Vendor: Very kind of you, but I cannot accept this gift
Woman: PLEASE! After hearing your story, I felt terrible for demanding a discount from you yesterday http://www.facebook.com/allthatrage
Woman: I refuse to pay the full price for a hot dog
Vendor: Your attitude stinks tca. MOVE ALONG TO THE NEXT STALL
Woman: well, there are other vendors nearby, you have no condiments and those hot dogs DO NOT LOOK FRESH
VENDOR: Point taken, I'll give you a discount.
MONDAY MORNING
Woman: (tearful eyes) Here. Take this.
Vendor: Think you made a mistake. Someone else must have lost all this money. Not me
Woman: I'm giving it to you. keep it PLEASE
Vendor: Why me? You don't even know me.
Woman: I'm sorry but when you were opening up this morninG, I overheard you telling your colleague about your child who is about you to be kicked out of school because you're unable pay this terms tuition
Vendor: Very kind of you, but I cannot accept this gift
Woman: PLEASE! After hearing your story, I felt terrible for demanding a discount from you yesterday http://www.facebook.com/allthatrage
Thursday, 4 August 2011
The Road and its Sidewalk - Motorist rage
Sidewalk vendor:Enjoy it. So you going home now?
**: No! Not ready yet. The stock market today is too depressing. I'm just gonna sit in the car, rev the engine and honk the horn repeatedly
Sidewalk Vendor: No need to be rude, the traffic will clear soon
**: I wont be rude, I'm just gonna pretend
Sidewalk Vendor: Motorists will think you wanna move the car forward so jump out of the way fast. That could cause confusion and accidents.
** (laughs) I just wanna see the look on their faces when they realize that I'm not moving the car at all
What happens if the car in front of you takes too long to move?
I will just honk my horn louder and rev the engine harder
**: No! Not ready yet. The stock market today is too depressing. I'm just gonna sit in the car, rev the engine and honk the horn repeatedly
Sidewalk Vendor: No need to be rude, the traffic will clear soon
**: I wont be rude, I'm just gonna pretend
Sidewalk Vendor: Motorists will think you wanna move the car forward so jump out of the way fast. That could cause confusion and accidents.
** (laughs) I just wanna see the look on their faces when they realize that I'm not moving the car at all
What happens if the car in front of you takes too long to move?
I will just honk my horn louder and rev the engine harder
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