PENSIONER ON BUS

PENSIONER ON BUS


Pensioner

Pick up the phone. PLEASE! I know you're there. JUST PICK UP THE PHONE..PICK..UP...THE...PHONE..PICK THE PHONE UP.....Why do you REFUSE to answer my calls all the time?... I am just calling to let you know that I will be home soon...I have been stucked on the bus for 5 minutes. There's a fat woman beside me. Her baby WILL NOT stop crying. It's driving me INSANE. My back is killing me. ..There is a TWAT sitting in front of me....HE SMELLS.....I don't wanna take another bus. When I get off this one, I'll just walk it home....I will wALK IT HOME. I don't want you to pick me up anywhere. It's fine. It will not take me long to walk it home. Don't worry. It will kill me to get on another bus today.... You dont have to pick me up. I'll be fine. I thought you said you were BUSY and that's why you could'nt pick up the phone. Just continue watching YOU'RE usc football until I get there....FOR HEAVEN SAKE! Okay, meet me at KFC....You don't know where KFC is?...OKAY FORGET IT. I'll walk it home by myself. It's just opposite Mcdonald's....COME ON DRIVER!....I TOLD you, K F C....GET OFF THE PHONE! I don't know why you picked it up in the first place. UGH!

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SIDEWALK THEATRE and SIDEWALK LOOKS http://www.facebook.com/allthaTRAGE

SIDEWALK LOOKS http://sidewalknarratives.blogspot.com/

sidewalk adventure

PEDESTRIAN STEPS ON BACK OF GRRR's SHOE BUT DID NOT STOP TO ACKNOWLEDGE OR APOLOGISE



Grrr: OUCH! That HURTS you know. HEB!


GRRR STOPS AND PUT SHOES BACK ON



PEDESTRIAN (laughs) stop being such a baby. You don't have to get angry....


GRRR: damn it! but you do it ALL THE TIME and it's ANNOYING. You should be thankful you're not some other pedestrian


PEDESTRIAN: Interesting. So if I were just SOME OTHER pedestrain, and not your partner, what would happen? Curse me?...


GRRR: (laughing)...YES!...and kick your ass. Seriously, I HATE when some MISCREANT fail to look where they are walking and steps on my shoe, especially if he/she not does not APOLOGISE


PEDESTRIAN: I consider myself LUCKY


GRRR: VERY!

http://www.facebook.com/allthatrage

Pedestrians' Rage

RAGE (screams)

GRRR! WALK FASTER PEOPLE. FOX SAKE! This is the only thing I hate about Chinatown.



CHUM

THIS is the only thing I LOVE about Chinatown



RAGE
Really? These snails make it hell on earth!



CHUM

Just kidding chum. These people walk too slow for my schedule. This is the reason why I avoid coming here. I come here to eat Yum Cha and watch Pineapple Express, not to watch people’s behind.



RAGE

Curb your enthusiasm chum. Watch out china town. I ain’t playing



CHUM

Try this. I tried it a few times when I was in a hurry - Scream really, really loud. The mass of bodies will immediately part like the Red Sea. This got me to a couple of meetings on time when I was stuck in sidewalk traffic. People understand it's CHINATOWN when you go crazy for a few minutes. They will not think you are crazy



RAGE

I will try that next time chum. You spoke too late



CHUM

No problem. You still seem pretty annoyed even though you have managed to pass them. Everything okay?



RAGE

Not really



CHUM

Tell me what happened



RAGE

I ran into Rell this morning. I can’t get it off my mind




CHUM

Rex, the amateur wrestler?



RAGE

Same one



Chum

Don’t tell me you were fool enough to pick a fight with him because you got stuck behind him



RAGE

Not quite.



CHUM

What does that mean?



RAGE

We were walking towards each other - in opposite directions. He must have noticed he was on the same path as me, still he REFUSED to change direction. Of course, since I was on the right side....



CHUM

You refused to budge



RAGE

That's right. One should never give up his/her right



CHUM

Even if it causes a fight?



RAGE

Even if it causes a fight...I was preparing to charge into his shoulders. I was aware of other pedestrians’ stares. I could tell some of them were eager to see the showdown, whereas, others were terrified



CHUM

He’s a big guy with huge muscles. No one in their right mind would try to break up the fight, so if you were losing, that would be bad news for you.



RAGE

He looked at me as if he rather a fight than to move out of my way. But I was not terrified at all.



CHUM

Hope you didn’t throw up your hands and give in. The other pedestrians would simply laugh at you, especially since you are notorious for scaring the hell out of them.



RAGE

As were about to crash into each other, I clenched my fists...He flexed his HUGE muscles...



CHUM

So who threw the first punch? Was it you?



RAGE

...I stepped aside quickly



CHUM (raucous laughter)

You did not!



RAGE

Would you call me a coward?

CHUM

I would not say that. You have a right to protect yourself. That is exactly what you did when you stepped out of harm’s way. The laws of physics stateS that when a BIG guy meets a small guy, the small loses big time.



RAGE

I know.



CHUM

He would have beaten you to death or injury if you had not given him right of way.



RAGE

So why do I feel so angry with myself? If only I could escape to Bahamas, or even CASABLANCA



CHUM

Don't worry about it. Think about the good news instead; both Kate Hudson and Victoria Beckham have given birth.