RAGE (screams)
GRRR! WALK FASTER PEOPLE. FOX SAKE! This is the only thing I hate about Chinatown.
CHUM
THIS is the only thing I LOVE about Chinatown
RAGE
Really? These snails make it hell on earth!
CHUM
Just kidding chum. These people walk too slow for my schedule. This is the reason why I avoid coming here. I come here to eat Yum Cha and watch Pineapple Express, not to watch people’s behind.
RAGE
Curb your enthusiasm chum. Watch out china town. I ain’t playing
CHUM
Try this. I tried it a few times when I was in a hurry - Scream really, really loud. The mass of bodies will immediately part like the Red Sea. This got me to a couple of meetings on time when I was stuck in sidewalk traffic. People understand it's CHINATOWN when you go crazy for a few minutes. They will not think you are crazy
RAGE
I will try that next time chum. You spoke too late
CHUM
No problem. You still seem pretty annoyed even though you have managed to pass them. Everything okay?
RAGE
Not really
CHUM
Tell me what happened
RAGE
I ran into Rell this morning. I can’t get it off my mind
CHUM
Rex, the amateur wrestler?
RAGE
Same one
Chum
Don’t tell me you were fool enough to pick a fight with him because you got stuck behind him
RAGE
Not quite.
CHUM
What does that mean?
RAGE
We were walking towards each other - in opposite directions. He must have noticed he was on the same path as me, still he REFUSED to change direction. Of course, since I was on the right side....
CHUM
You refused to budge
RAGE
That's right. One should never give up his/her right
CHUM
Even if it causes a fight?
RAGE
Even if it causes a fight...I was preparing to charge into his shoulders. I was aware of other pedestrians’ stares. I could tell some of them were eager to see the showdown, whereas, others were terrified
CHUM
He’s a big guy with huge muscles. No one in their right mind would try to break up the fight, so if you were losing, that would be bad news for you.
RAGE
He looked at me as if he rather a fight than to move out of my way. But I was not terrified at all.
CHUM
Hope you didn’t throw up your hands and give in. The other pedestrians would simply laugh at you, especially since you are notorious for scaring the hell out of them.
RAGE
As were about to crash into each other, I clenched my fists...He flexed his HUGE muscles...
CHUM
So who threw the first punch? Was it you?
RAGE
...I stepped aside quickly
CHUM (raucous laughter)
You did not!
RAGE
Would you call me a coward?
CHUM
I would not say that. You have a right to protect yourself. That is exactly what you did when you stepped out of harm’s way. The laws of physics stateS that when a BIG guy meets a small guy, the small loses big time.
RAGE
I know.
CHUM
He would have beaten you to death or injury if you had not given him right of way.
RAGE
So why do I feel so angry with myself? If only I could escape to Bahamas, or even CASABLANCA
CHUM
Don't worry about it. Think about the good news instead; both Kate Hudson and Victoria Beckham have given birth.
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