Pedestrians and other motorists are arguing with GRRR in slow-moving traffic.
MOTORIST:
What’s the point of driving a 2011 mustang convertible GT, if you’re gonna keep the top up? MORON!
GRRR:
GUMBY! Mind your business! I do what a like; I did not buy it on credit. I earned it through hard work and credit.
MOTORIST: (dreamily)
I wish I owned a convertible. There is no greater feeling than driving ONE in the sunshine WITH THE TOP DOWN
GRRR:
You’re just jealous of my success. GO ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS! LOSER!!!!
PEDESTRIAN:
You’re missing out on the glorious sunshine and the gentle breeze. PUT THE TOP DOWN!
GRRR: (TEASES)
YOU CAN'T EVEN AFFORD A REGULAR CAR. TAKE A HIKE...Mind the dog's shxt!
PEDESTRIAN:
The fool and his convertible will soon part
GRRR:
WHATEVER! As much as I love sunny days like today, I will not allow the BREEZE to ruin my new hair-style
GRRR’s companion,HOLLY VALANCE, giggles.
MOTORIST:(laughingly sings Neil Diamond's YOUR SO VAIN..)
Don't you want to enjoy the sunshine and cool breeze?
GRRR:(hisses teeth)
I SAID LEAVE ME ALONE. It's 9 11 now. If I hear one word of your mouth 9 15, your new friend here will have to take you to the hospital
PEDESTRIAN:
YOU IDIOT! Is this how you enjoy the success you CLAIMED you have worked hard for?
GRRR:
GET LOST! It’s none of your business
MOTORIST:
A downpour is forecasted for this afternoon, so if I were you, I would make the most of this fantastic weather
HOLLY VALANCE whispers in his ear. Few minutes later, driver caves in and not only put the top down, but also turns up the volume on the stereo.
CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
Driver smiles and gives the thumbs up to his admirers. He pulls up outside Burgher King. While they were inside doing whatever, the sun went in and the downpour came.
GRRR:
UGH!
He sprints towards the car. Loses his balance, slips and falls flat on his face. He gets up and limps rest of the way. He SWEARS AND CURSES AS HE FINDS IT DIFFICULT TO RAISE THE ROOF OF THE CAR.
Needless to say, he is properly drenched and the car is flooded with water. Even HOLLY VALANCE is dying with laughter as she watched from Burger King’s window with her new friends.
Showing posts with label Rage at the traffic. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Rage at the traffic. Show all posts
Thursday, 8 September 2011
Thursday, 1 September 2011
walking! driving! PHEW! what a week!
MONDAY
ARGH:
This traffic is not moving at all because of that IRS driver...driving so SLOW. IDIOT! UGH!
CHUM:
It's labour day, remember? Usually, I'm lazy on labour day....Let’s get out of the car and take the bus behind
ARGH:
NOT A BAD IDEA chum...Don’t think they’ll have any spare seats
PIERCING SIREN. BOMB DISPOSAL VEHICLE SHOTS PASS
CHUM:
This is our chance! Otherwise, we won’t make it to the game on time
ARGH:
I know. LET’S DO IT
CHUMS' CAR SPEEDS AFTER BOMB DISPOSAL VEHICLE
CHUMS: HURRAH!
TUESDAY
Policeman sending texts while patrolling in a car. He's been videoed by a motorist. Should be on youtube shortly.
Policeman stares back at motorist in defiance.
Motorist starts to write a text.
Policeman flashes his car light on him.
MOTORIST:
Go F..FLASH YOURSELF, I should report you to your superior, Ned Kelly
COP:
I'M NOT TEXTING; I'm just sending an email. Besides, you should stop watching me, this is not college footbal
**********
UGH:
CHUM, I can’t stand the rain. It’s gonna spoil the sidewalk's FIELD DAY festival. SHXT!
ARGH:
Grrr! Bad umbrella etiquette on the sidewalk is EVEN worse than the rain itself
WEDNESDAY
ARGH:
Grrr sidewalks are for pedestrians NOT bicycles. Bicycles MUST stay on the roads and watch the hell out for pedestrians and obey the traffic signals…
CHUM:
…AMEN!
CYCLIST:
I ride on the sidewalk to avoid annoying drivers, and this is my FUHING reward? I love Lucy BUT not you pedestrians
CHUM:
calm down
GRRR:
DAMN road works and motorists driving like LEARNERS!
CHUM:
TAKE A DEEP BREATH chum!
GRRR:
My horn and fingers never fail me, so I will be fine CHUM
CHUM:
I know the heat is unbearable and the traffic is hardly moving but ranting and raging...
GRRR:
...YOU! slept out most of the traffic so far, so you'll NEVER understand my anguish
CHUM:
I suggest we leave earlier NEXT TIME, put in a lady Gaga cd, make some calls with our Bluetooth headsets and FIX the AC in your car… I'm experiencing changes in my life, I can't STAND the heat anymore
GRRR:
GET OUT OF MY CAR! If you fiddled with the wires, the ac would work. GET OUT! Its quite cool outside!
CHUM:
Don't leave me in the middle of NOWHERE!....You can't leave me in the middle of nowhere!
GRRR FLINGS PASSENGER DOOR OPEN AND PUSHES CHUM OUT ON THE ROAD
GRRR:
I JUST DID. Bye!
CHUM:
I fiddled with the wires, but the stereo stopped working
GRRR:
Excuse, excuses. LISTEN! I just lost 45 minutes in this traffic; fixing AC is the LEAST of my problems. Anyway, you'll find it's VERY cool outside. I ENVY YOU! UGH!
THURSDAY
Vehicle's headlights settle on someone dancing in the middle of the road. WHAT A FOOL, thought the driver. Before he honks the horn to scare dancer out of the way, he is distracted by a motorist singing and dancing to a joel osteen song, in his car. The driver prefers to watch the dancer but he did not look back quickly enough to save him. CRASH!!!!
FRIDAY
UGH:
Grrr! Those kids should STOP walking across my lawn and use the FREAKING sidewalk. If there is no sidewalk, then they can walk in the street.
Chum:
Their djia dog is using your lawn as a toilet. Good dogs use the sidewalk
UGH:
Something is obviously wrong with this one. Do me a favor please....
ARGH:
This traffic is not moving at all because of that IRS driver...driving so SLOW. IDIOT! UGH!
CHUM:
It's labour day, remember? Usually, I'm lazy on labour day....Let’s get out of the car and take the bus behind
ARGH:
NOT A BAD IDEA chum...Don’t think they’ll have any spare seats
PIERCING SIREN. BOMB DISPOSAL VEHICLE SHOTS PASS
CHUM:
This is our chance! Otherwise, we won’t make it to the game on time
ARGH:
I know. LET’S DO IT
CHUMS' CAR SPEEDS AFTER BOMB DISPOSAL VEHICLE
CHUMS: HURRAH!
TUESDAY
Policeman sending texts while patrolling in a car. He's been videoed by a motorist. Should be on youtube shortly.
Policeman stares back at motorist in defiance.
Motorist starts to write a text.
Policeman flashes his car light on him.
MOTORIST:
Go F..FLASH YOURSELF, I should report you to your superior, Ned Kelly
COP:
I'M NOT TEXTING; I'm just sending an email. Besides, you should stop watching me, this is not college footbal
**********
UGH:
CHUM, I can’t stand the rain. It’s gonna spoil the sidewalk's FIELD DAY festival. SHXT!
ARGH:
Grrr! Bad umbrella etiquette on the sidewalk is EVEN worse than the rain itself
WEDNESDAY
ARGH:
Grrr sidewalks are for pedestrians NOT bicycles. Bicycles MUST stay on the roads and watch the hell out for pedestrians and obey the traffic signals…
CHUM:
…AMEN!
CYCLIST:
I ride on the sidewalk to avoid annoying drivers, and this is my FUHING reward? I love Lucy BUT not you pedestrians
CHUM:
calm down
GRRR:
DAMN road works and motorists driving like LEARNERS!
CHUM:
TAKE A DEEP BREATH chum!
GRRR:
My horn and fingers never fail me, so I will be fine CHUM
CHUM:
I know the heat is unbearable and the traffic is hardly moving but ranting and raging...
GRRR:
...YOU! slept out most of the traffic so far, so you'll NEVER understand my anguish
CHUM:
I suggest we leave earlier NEXT TIME, put in a lady Gaga cd, make some calls with our Bluetooth headsets and FIX the AC in your car… I'm experiencing changes in my life, I can't STAND the heat anymore
GRRR:
GET OUT OF MY CAR! If you fiddled with the wires, the ac would work. GET OUT! Its quite cool outside!
CHUM:
Don't leave me in the middle of NOWHERE!....You can't leave me in the middle of nowhere!
GRRR FLINGS PASSENGER DOOR OPEN AND PUSHES CHUM OUT ON THE ROAD
GRRR:
I JUST DID. Bye!
CHUM:
I fiddled with the wires, but the stereo stopped working
GRRR:
Excuse, excuses. LISTEN! I just lost 45 minutes in this traffic; fixing AC is the LEAST of my problems. Anyway, you'll find it's VERY cool outside. I ENVY YOU! UGH!
THURSDAY
Vehicle's headlights settle on someone dancing in the middle of the road. WHAT A FOOL, thought the driver. Before he honks the horn to scare dancer out of the way, he is distracted by a motorist singing and dancing to a joel osteen song, in his car. The driver prefers to watch the dancer but he did not look back quickly enough to save him. CRASH!!!!
FRIDAY
UGH:
Grrr! Those kids should STOP walking across my lawn and use the FREAKING sidewalk. If there is no sidewalk, then they can walk in the street.
Chum:
Their djia dog is using your lawn as a toilet. Good dogs use the sidewalk
UGH:
Something is obviously wrong with this one. Do me a favor please....
Tuesday, 30 August 2011
#chaz bono chums honk horn at girls
CHAZ BONO (narrates): While waiting for the traffic light to change to green, I sometimes honk my horn at other vehicles. it's funny when they jump out of fright. My chums honk their horns at attractive girls..You should try it!
(DRIVE RADIO plays Pink's RESPECT "When me and all my girls go walking down the street, It seems we can't go anywhere without a car that goes "Beep-beep" )
Girl,daryl hannah, bent to fetch her purse that fell on the road. ARGH honks horn. She looks up. ARGH gives her thumbs-up
GIRL:
I don't understand. What are you trying to say?
ARGH:
Looking so gorgeous!
GIRL:
DO NOT not honk your horn at me. This is totally unacceptable where I'm from in Chichen Itza
ARGH:
(laughs) You're standing in the road. We pay to drive on the road, if you know what I mean. I don't give a damn where you from. Honking is cool in Sons of Anarchy
GIRL:
It pisses me off
ARGH:
This is good for self esteem. You are NO Annie Lennox, so humble yourself and be thankful for whatever honking come your way
GIRL:
LOOK! I need no boost in my self esteem from the LIKES OF YOU. I already know I am gorgeous. How would your woman feel if she knows you're beeping other women on the road or how would you feel when other guys honk at your woman?
ARGH:
It does'nt bother me at all. To be honest, DTS would not be happy but that's her problem. Not mine or yours... I like the way you're checking me out right now while showing me bad vibes
GIRL:
Dream on! This is not Paradise Lost.
ARGH:
The only person dreaming is you. I honk my horn so that dog could get out of the way. I did'nt even see you. Where did you appear from?
GIRL:
Are you sure you were not honking at me...I get thist all the time. I'm NEVER short of attention
ARGH:
ATTENTION SEEKER! If I see you THE NEXT TIME, I wont honk again, i'll just run you over
GIRL:
Sour grapes..PERVERT!!!!!!!(angrily marches up to the car, ARGH quickly winds up the window, locks the door then speeds off)
/////////////////////////////////////////
UGH:
(honking horn) SENORITA!
WOMAN turns up her car stereo and ignores him.
UGH:
HOW RUDE!
WOMAN:
I'm not a prostitute, you know so S T O P ! Leave me alone. I am certain you would'nt like your wife and kids to hear this
UGH:
I'm driving this car for the first time. I beeped a girl at the traffic lights up the road. She waved and blew me a kiss. She was a decent and respectable person who is just happy for my success. Obviously, you're a different kettle of fish
WOMAN:
Before you honk or yell at me as you drive past again, make sure you're driving a DECENT AND RESPECTABLE car. By the way, you're old, fat and ugly...Thanks for noticing that I'm a DIFFERENT kettle of fish
UGH:
You have no class! No need to be rude, I just wanted to let you know that you forget to take the money you withdrew from the cash machine
///////////////////////////////////////////////
GIRL:
PerverT! how would you like it if random strangers honk at your daughter? STOP embarrassing yourself. I'M NOT INTERESTED!
GRRR:
I'll slash your tyres, DON'T MESS with me!
WOMAN: I know I'm irresistible but your attention DOES NOT appeal to me, and I am not scared of you either
GRRR: If looks could kill
WOMAN: I'm making sure I give you a good look before...(she screams)
(DRIVE RADIO plays Pink's RESPECT "When me and all my girls go walking down the street, It seems we can't go anywhere without a car that goes "Beep-beep" )
Girl,daryl hannah, bent to fetch her purse that fell on the road. ARGH honks horn. She looks up. ARGH gives her thumbs-up
GIRL:
I don't understand. What are you trying to say?
ARGH:
Looking so gorgeous!
GIRL:
DO NOT not honk your horn at me. This is totally unacceptable where I'm from in Chichen Itza
ARGH:
(laughs) You're standing in the road. We pay to drive on the road, if you know what I mean. I don't give a damn where you from. Honking is cool in Sons of Anarchy
GIRL:
It pisses me off
ARGH:
This is good for self esteem. You are NO Annie Lennox, so humble yourself and be thankful for whatever honking come your way
GIRL:
LOOK! I need no boost in my self esteem from the LIKES OF YOU. I already know I am gorgeous. How would your woman feel if she knows you're beeping other women on the road or how would you feel when other guys honk at your woman?
ARGH:
It does'nt bother me at all. To be honest, DTS would not be happy but that's her problem. Not mine or yours... I like the way you're checking me out right now while showing me bad vibes
GIRL:
Dream on! This is not Paradise Lost.
ARGH:
The only person dreaming is you. I honk my horn so that dog could get out of the way. I did'nt even see you. Where did you appear from?
GIRL:
Are you sure you were not honking at me...I get thist all the time. I'm NEVER short of attention
ARGH:
ATTENTION SEEKER! If I see you THE NEXT TIME, I wont honk again, i'll just run you over
GIRL:
Sour grapes..PERVERT!!!!!!!(angrily marches up to the car, ARGH quickly winds up the window, locks the door then speeds off)
/////////////////////////////////////////
UGH:
(honking horn) SENORITA!
WOMAN turns up her car stereo and ignores him.
UGH:
HOW RUDE!
WOMAN:
I'm not a prostitute, you know so S T O P ! Leave me alone. I am certain you would'nt like your wife and kids to hear this
UGH:
I'm driving this car for the first time. I beeped a girl at the traffic lights up the road. She waved and blew me a kiss. She was a decent and respectable person who is just happy for my success. Obviously, you're a different kettle of fish
WOMAN:
Before you honk or yell at me as you drive past again, make sure you're driving a DECENT AND RESPECTABLE car. By the way, you're old, fat and ugly...Thanks for noticing that I'm a DIFFERENT kettle of fish
UGH:
You have no class! No need to be rude, I just wanted to let you know that you forget to take the money you withdrew from the cash machine
///////////////////////////////////////////////
GIRL:
PerverT! how would you like it if random strangers honk at your daughter? STOP embarrassing yourself. I'M NOT INTERESTED!
GRRR:
I'll slash your tyres, DON'T MESS with me!
WOMAN: I know I'm irresistible but your attention DOES NOT appeal to me, and I am not scared of you either
GRRR: If looks could kill
WOMAN: I'm making sure I give you a good look before...(she screams)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)