Raging Bull and Chum stares at an approaching pedestrian
CHUM
Bull, it's rude to stare at strangers on the sidewalk. I thought we were rude at the NFL. THE PEOPLE HERE IN CHINATOWN ARE REALLY RUDE
RAGING BULL
He is staring at me so what should I do? Stare away? I leave that to motorists. Don’t you ever buy me a car for my birthday, Chum. I still DETEST driving....I am a pedestrian. I NEVER STARE AWAY. I out-stare other pedestrians....
CHUM
...I am talking about him, NOT YOU. He has no right to stare at you. I really dislike when pedestrians fudgeing STARE at me. If I wasn’t in my new jogging suit, I'd poke him in his eyes.
RAGE
Me too. It seems as if he is trying to remember my face. Just watch me beat him at his own game. I don't care if he just upset about the NFL Lockout
CHUM
I don't blame you, but please don't beat him. We might get in trouble with the police...On the other hand, if someone is trying to remmeber my face, I'm gonna try remember theirs
RAGE
Exactly
Pedestrian, Rage and Chum are just yards apart now.
PEDESTRIAN(shouts)
Why are you staring at me? Have you never seen a pedestrian on the sidewalk before?
CHUM
Why don't you look where you're going. You are the one staring at us
RAGE
What the fudge! This is a sidewalk, not a CATWALK, so I stare as much as I like. We did try to be nice and civil by looking away briefly....
CHUM
...But when we look up, you were still staring at us. What the fudge is your problem?
PEDESTRIAN( sticking out his tongue to Rage)
Why? Why What do YOU get out of staring at strangers going about their business? I do not know you so please take your eyeballs off me. You did not look away. You liars!
RAGE
Use your brains, you idiot.
PEDESTRIAN( sticks two fingers in his ears and sings)
LA LA LA LA, I CAN'T HEAR YOU
CHUM
Bull, let’s go. The cops will be here soon
PEDESTRIAN
Bull? What sort of a shxxt name is that? You have no brains! You should learn to mind your business when you use public sidewalks. This is a public sidewalk so stop going around bullying others. You don't own it! You CREEP!
CHUM
Bull, are you gonna stand there and let him talk too you like that?
RAGE
He is talking to you like that, NOT ME
CHUM
Stop instigating....
PEDESTRIAN (laughs)
....and get your lame axx of the sidewalk
RAGE
YOU! Cannot speak to me like that
PEDESTRIAN quickly turns his eyes away from Rage as they were about to pass each other.
RAGE
coward!
CHUM (bursts into laughter)
Next time you see us walking towards you, look the other way, look on the ground, anywhere except at us
PEDESTRIANS (fake yawns)
Freaks! Your’e boring me to death
RAGE
I am sorry he is boring you to death. How about I GORE YOUR LAME AXX TO DEATH
PEDESTRIAN
I said LAME AXX first. You are copying me!
BIZZARE SOUND PIERCE THE AIR
CHUM
What's that awful noise?
RAGING BULL
What's that AWFUL smell?
PEDESTRIAN
I think that rabbit just farted
RAGE
Don't lie
PEDESTRIAN
look!
CHUM
How? I mean WHERE, where
PEDESTRIAN
In the middle of the sidewalk
RAGING BULL (cackles)
OH NO!It's defecating on the spot where I hawked and spat
CHUM AND PEDESTRIAN
That's disgusting!
RAGING BULL blushes. Chum and Pedestrians guffaws.
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