bomb-ass, diabetic-harmonious raw salad

Electricity on the sidewalk has been switched off while crucial re-surfacing takes place. Check out the news on CNN. Consequently, the sidewalk Sidewalk Cafe will be - OPEN, still. Perhaps, the sidewalk diaspora will suffer contractions when it learn of the cafe's totally new lunch menus. Raw salads. What the hell!

That's right. No FLIPPING desserts or puddings in the near future. All that heat was driving the sidewalk playboy, Andy, MAD. The time is ripe for change; a new diet. Time to start eating onions as if they are apples; apples as if they are pastries. It should be super easy to convert the sidewalk's pastry lovers.

Psy whistles showily as he sweeps the sidewalk. No doubt, CLEAN eating is the way forward; totally raw. Time to change the sidewalk's palete from pastries to real food - OMG - totally raw!
Besides, using just human energy to create raw salads, is more cost effective than baking with electricity. Ovens and stoves have been replaced by new kitchen appliances; cutting boards, Mandolin, sharp knives, spoons and bowls.
　

Right now, the sidewalk playboyy, Andy, is preparing today's bomb-ass, diabetic-harmonious special. Here are the key ingredients; (inexpensive organic) - Lettuce, tomatoes, spinach, tomatoes, broccoli, cauliflower, brussels sprouts, carrots, peppers and onions, garlic, cucumber, orange-colored bell pepper, summer squash and asparagus.


Andy slices vegetabeles very thinly with mandolin. In a large bowl, he mixes olive oil and lemon juice into a creamy consistency. Then he sprinkles liquid with black pepper, and paprika. No FLIPPING salt. Finally, he pour the dressing over the salad. Let it chill until serving time in an hour.


The Sidewalk Cafe smells - vegetable-like but the resulting taste is crunchy, savory, colorful and awesome. Yummy! From now on, the sidewalk diaspora will be begging the sidewalk playboy for more... RAW SALADS.

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Banana pudding

Sidewalk playboy, Abalos tuned into the light entertainment on the sidewalk bench, while baking banana pudding for passers-by. He loves baking desserts for the cherished sidewalk diaspora. When they smile in enjoyment and appreciation of his delicacies, it makes his day.

BRUNO:

You drink too much! You should stop drinking.

Margaret:

What do you mean?

Bruno

I'm SAYING what I mean. You love drinking too much. ENOUGH! I don't wanna hang out with a DRUNK


Abalos sense his dessert will be popular today. It's easy to make. It smells amazing.No other dessert taste better.Anyone turning up for left-overs will be unlucky. There will be NONE. Those who have it today, will miss it tommorrow.



Margaret

But you are as drunk as HELL. That's why you shouting like that...in front of all these people. UGH!


Life is short. Give them what they crave and desire. No one wants to miss out on today's treat. Let's hope, YOU have not been missing out. If you haven't tasted banana pudding before, drop by the sidewalk Desserts and Puddings stall


Bruno

That banana pudding smells NASTY...Anyway, I drink because I can fight to defend myself. YOU CAN'T!

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sidewalk puddings and desserts

No fashion event on today, so sidewalk playboy, George, aka Two Hit Wonder, is back on the sidewalk, making up another fashion song in his head, watching some pedestrians running and doing push-ups,  WHILE  baking delectable puddings and desserts for the sidewalk diaspora. Treats for today - butternut squash pudding and Fruit cocktail cake dessert. YUMMY!

If you have never had butternut squash pudding, you should try it. It's not only interesting-sounding, it also taste and smells good. Your sense of taste and smell will be in savory heaven.

Fruit cocktail cake dessert is on point. It has no icing but that doesn't stop passers-by, snared by the delicious aroma, from queuing up long before its even ready. Trust me, it taste much nicer than those in the shops. Much better than mixed fruits.

Chocolate cake is less basic and more challenging, but George will be making it tomorrow. Cheese cake, Chocolate sponge cake with melted glaze chocolate on top;recipes coming up later this week.

Here is the chorus for the new fashion song he has started writing:

KNAPSACK


I have a knack for carrying alot
Sidewalk playboy, how you do that?
You'll never flap
With a knapsack
A kick-ass bag that I carry on my back
Everyone on the sidewalk
Has one of that



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sidewalk chat

LIM speaks entertainingly loudly on her phone, from one of the sidewalk benches.


LIM

I'm sorry to hear Cristiano did that to you, Julianne. He's a DIRTY player. He thinks you are EASY to get...He kissed me, when he had a girlfriend...I pu...shed him away....

He cheated on his girlfriend when he was in Malaga. He was like "Oh, I had a free pass" (funny mimicking of Cristiano)

He's just too CONFIDENT....He's PATHETIC!....Get this straight. I DID NOT KISS HIM. He kissed me. And I PHYSICALLY pushed him aside

By making a move on you like that, he's sacrificing your friendship with him. He's doing it, because he DOESN'T care

Okay, I'll call him now. Bye

LIM CALLS Cristiano


LIM
(giggling)

You know why I'm calling!

She was OFFENDED. You made her feel like she's easy.

(giggling)
Well, I was calling to tell you that what you did to her was RUDE...but not anymore. All of that change in the last few minutes I started talking to you...

...(giggles) I am actually hanging out on the sidewalk bench, among a bunch of losers, so NO IN DEPTH CONVERSATION, please

LIM GIGGLES EVEN MORE INTENSELY WHILE SAYING GOODBYE, THEN MADE LOTS OF KISSING SOUNDS WITH HER MOUTH
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I was looking at rings

METEOR sits on sidewalk bench adjacent to the sidewalk duds. She immediately commences a LOUD, badass telephone conversation.

METEOR

Did you know today was valentine's day?.... (cackles) Me neither...When I was picking up my medication at the pharmacy, I heard shoppers talking about it..



.....I smoked so much weed last night that I passed out. I don't know how I got home. I took the WRONG bus. Alot of men callling me SEXY.....I was like 'WHO THE HELL ARE THESE PEOPLE?'

[The sidewalk duds are trying very hard to stifle their amusement]


........I'll buy you a valentine's gift....next week. I have NO money. I spent it all on alcohol....How come you have no money? What did you do with your money?..I just farted....You are as funny as that fart!


KATE
(whispered to KRISTEN)

She's hilarious! If he's more hilarious, then I would LOVE to meet him.


METEOR
.
...I was looking at rings today....I SAID 'I was looking at RINGS.'...Would you marry me?...I love you. I wasn't gonna tell you..

[She rang him back minutes after that conversation ended]


METEOR

I think we should tattoo each others name on our bodies....next week. What do you think. Okay, let's do it then...next week, when we both get some money....I love you..


{She called him back a minute later]


METEOR

One more thing, I love you


[When this chat ended, she started to make up a song]

METEOR

(raps)

There is no one to me like my man Hugh
There is nothing I wont do for you
I ride and die for you
I ride hard like Sean Paul

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You'll never walk alone, dear

EXT.  SIDEWALK – DAY

LANA

                               THANKS for walking me to the eye clinic, EMMY. I don't know how I'm gonna

                               manage if they operate on my eye AGAIN.UGH!

FIONA

(yawning)

                               You call this exciting? Kelsey, who should I throw my shoe at? Corrie or the two

                               women?

EMMY

                               That's what friends are for, Lana. Look on the bright side. You worry yourself

                               superlatively. That's why your eyelashes are turning grey.

LANA

                              I can hardly see where I'm walking so how the hell can I LOOK ON THE BRIGHT

                             SIDE? And why are YOU looking in my eyes. Are you a man?... You call yourself

                             my friend yet my eye lashes turning grey AND you didn't tell me before? UGH!

FIONA

(dozing off)

                              Wake me up when you switch to something less PRETENTIOUS

EMMY

                              I understand you’re facing a frightening situation but don't worry. I will pray for you.

LANA

(sarcastically)

                     Just praying! Is that it?

KELSEY

(impatiently)

                     That’s it! I’m going to the toilet.

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The sidewalk's Romeo and Juliet

KRISTEN:
 It’s about time the detractors stop seeing us as mere fixtures on the sidewalk bench, or  Idlers, and start seeing us as a potent force to be reckon with......

KATE:
  ....achievers, etc, etc
                               


EXT.  SIDEWALK  STALL/BENCH – DAY


ZOKAYA and his sidewalk duds munch on POPCORN while listening to weather warnings about the big freeze. Through their individual BINOCULARS, they watch the exchange between, sidewalk sweeper, BUSH and sidewalk vendor, MICHELLE.

BUSH
You have no idea how magnificent, how exotic you are to me. This poise, this symmetry, this refinement. I'm mute with awe over your beauty. Look at me, a mere sidewalk sweeper, holding the delicate hand of this luminous creature at her stall.


KATE
(guffawing)
                            
"Romeo" trying to sweep "Juliet" off her feet.


ZOKAYA

I think "Romeo" has been watching Ivan Turgenev's Two Women at the sidewalk theatre. Without characters like him, the sidewalk would be a dull place.
                   


MICHELLE

Oh, GEORGE, sorry, I mean BUSH, I've been so restless and irritable since you swept last week. I couldn’t wait for today to return, so I could see you again. BUSH!


THE SIDEWALK DUDS BURST INTO A CACKLE


KRISTEN

I think you were right Zokaya...There's no smoke without fire.  Or is it a mere coincidence?.....She speaks like a character in Two Women.


KATE
(teasingly)

WHAT! Are you dating TWO women?



KRISTEN:

Shut up or I’ll scratch you!


ZOKAYA

Shut the hell up! You LEMMINGS. I’m trying to watch this.



BUSH

 I feel so centred when I see you each week. Seeing you is the only happiness I need on this sidewalk. You got to believe me.... I'd die inside if knew you were restless and irritable without me.


KATE

This is really good. There could be no repeat; I’m glad I did not miss it.



MICHELLE

 I'm okay now, BUSH. Hundreds of female vendors and pedestrians on the sidewalk are just jealous of me because you hand-picked me over them.

KRISTEN
(disdainfully)

This is a load of rubbish! Soon they will take off their clothes and have lots of sex. This is not the kind of thing I wanna watch in broad day light....There must  be something more exciting happening on the sidewalk now. LOOK! How about  those two FASHIONABLE women walking towards us? Get out the camera's Zokaya.

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