Sunday 27 May 2012

The bag lady and the good samaritan

THIRTEEN packed carrier bags splayed out on the sidewalk. Bus stopped a few fete away. The bag lady, Keira, dashed on with a bag in either hand. Pointing in the driver's face and occasionally, at the remaining bags, she argued with him forcefully. The driver responded with wild, vehement, emphatic hand gestures. If she was trying to compel him to move the bus closer to her bags; she failed. She started collecting the others; in twos.


 As the sole male passenger present, Celtics, was tempted to help her but something kept him back. His guilt mounted, yet he stayed put.


FINALLY, A GOOD SAMARITAN TO THE RESCUE.


GOOD SAMARITAN, Shiloh:(to bag lady)

 May I help you



KEIRA:(snaps sharply)

 NO!



It was at that precise moment that it suddenly dawned on Celtics that he had seen this woman in action before. Luckily, this time, he was a mere spectator.


 Celtics chuckled as the Shiloh exchanged bewildered and amused looks with others milling about. The atmosphere inside the bus looked quite tense. Passengers were already inflamed that the bus was taking such a long time to drive off. Keira noticed the baggage rack was empty. However, she passed it and rudely drove passengers out of their seats.



 Four passengers refused to vacate their seats. This attracted applause from outside. When the woman finally sat down, her legs were wide open; to accommodate the rest of the bags between them.


Celtics was tempted to put his Facebook camera to use, by jumping on the bus for what promised to be a blockbuster joyride.


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Wednesday 16 May 2012

Sweep talk her

Sidewalk sweeper Mick,is in his 70s and happily married. Sidewalk vendor Rachel, is in her 50s and happily married also. Nevertheless, it seams no one can expostulate with him about the futility of charming her each week. She revels in the attention; simply can't get enough. Intensely amused Chuck, Rachel's assistant, can't get enough of the flirtatious espièglerie.



Chuck:(chuckles at sight of Mick sweeping sidewalk two stalls away)

Your admirer is coming



RACHEL:(smiles sheepishly)

 I know. It's a good thing I bought some milk at the shop this morning.



Chuck:

 ....planning to make him his usual cup of tea?



 RACHEL:

 Of course



 Chuck:

 As usual, that will make his day SHE SMILES



 Chuck:(teases) I think we'll do better business on the sidewalk if we stop promoting New car deals and euromillions and start a dating service


RACHEL:(sarcasm)

Ha ha Ha..Very funny!



JAKE POURS THE RUBBISH INTO HIS LITTEL CART AND LEANS THE BROOM AGAINST THE SIDEWALK BENCH




 JAKE:

Morning all! (tipped his hat to Rachel) Morning Rachel



Chuck:(wide grin on his face)

 Morning


 RACHEL:

Good morning Mick


Jake:

Your looking lovely today, as usual




 RACHEL:

Thank you....Would you like a cup of tea?



 Jake:(takes her hands and peer in her eyes)

 ONLY if it's made by YOU



 RACHEL:

 Of course.



Chuck grins widely.


RACHEL brings a chair for Jake to sit on while tea.



 Jake:

This is my favourite stall on the sidewalk.....(to Rachel) especially when YOU are here



 Customers smile in bafflement, Chuck laughs out loudly



 Chuck:

That's a classic, no wonder you ALWAYS sweep this area much cleaner



 Jake:

 ..How many of you are working today?


RACHEL:

Three of us working today



Chuck:(playfully)

 Of course, Rachel is one in a million


 JAKE:(hands 3 different fruits to Rachel)

She is TWO in a million



Rachel giggles.


 CHUCK:(cackles)

 I stand corrected



Rachel brings the tea and some cakes she made at home to Jake.


Mick:(pointing on the Miss World Canada on the cover of OK magazine. She is stunning



RACHEL: She is


 Mick:(beams)

 NOt as stunning as you though. Did ANYONE tell you this morning how BEAUTIFUL you are?



 Rachel:(smiles broadly)

 Not really



 Mick: Well,



CHuck kneels behind the stall and attempts to stifle his guffaw.


 CHUCK:(whispers conspiratorily to Mick while Rachel serves customer)

You should ask her out



 MICK:(peers philosophically down the sidewalk)

 Leave it to me son



 CHUCK serves customer but keeps eyes and ears on the lovebirds. He chuckles when they did their usual good bye hugs



 Rachel:

 Oh, this feels so nice


 AFTER Mick left.


 Chuck:

 Did he ask you out?


 Rachel:

No



Chuck:

Ahhh! He got cold feet...Would you have said yes?



Rachel:

 No. He has a wife, and I have a husband, so I would have to decline


 Chuck:

 That would break his heart. You could at least take A chance on him.


Rachel:

 He's very sweet but no.


Chuck:

I like him a lot as well. You can tell he was a charmer when he was a young man. I wish he was my grand father


Rachel:

he makes me feel so special each week, I often wonder how can I repay him


Chuck:

 Buy him a birthday gift.



Rachel:

 I bought him a xmas card last year....

Chuck: I wonder if he shows it to his wife. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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Friday 11 May 2012

Not an illustrious find at all

Sidewalk chums, Birdman, David and Hollande are gleeful. They find soemthing on the sidewalk which looks quite illustrious. A small box with 20 sets of rusty keys. Each key has a label; 1-Lord and Saviour, 2- The Moon, 3-Stockings, 4-Absorption, 5-Candice, 6-My Husband, 7-Self-esteem, 8-Asparagus, 9-Domino table, 9-Vinegar, 10-Rabbit tooth, 11-Raincoat, 12-A sword, 13-a nightmare, 14-A challenge, 15-Human intestine, 16-Coriander, 17-A sunrise, 18-Big toe....



Hollande:(points at small box lying on sidewalk)

LOOK! It MUST be jewellery inside the box. I wander who lost it. (looks around curiously)



David:

WHO CARES? We are rich! Tired of landlords and sharing house with strangers, Tired of feeling like DREGS


Hollande:

 ....No offence Birdman, but I'm tired of walking up and down the sidewalk behind you, like a darn BIRDBRAIN. The time is ripe for a scooter. It seems our breakthrough has finally come, David. So grin all you want



 Birdman:

 Calm down guys. Lets go over to the bench and see what's inside



 David:(thunders)

WHAT THE HELL? A bunch of keys with name tags? ugh!


 Birdman:

This name tags are weird....A SWORD, THE MOON, CORIANDER, ABSORPTION...



Hollande: A SUNRISE, Big toe....



 David:

VINEGAR?... DOMINO TABLE....I bet the owner is CRAZY



Birdman:

What we gonna do with it?



 David:

I have a feeling this could bring us bad-luck. Let is THROW IT IN THE BIN


 Hollande:

 Are you mad? That's what will bring us bad luck. Someone has to keep it. NOT ME!


 Birdman:

Me neither:


David: well, that was not my idea



Birdman: I know it's naughty


DAVID:

 Let's hear it...we'll be the judge of that


 Birdman: Let's bring back the neighbour's piece of board, then leave this THING there as well



Hollande:

That's very naughty.



David:

I like it. Let them deal with it


 Hollande:

 It's better that way. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- please LIKE http://www.facebook.com/allthaTRAGE please FOLLOW http://allthatrageseries.blogspot.com/ please follow SIDEWALK LOOKS http://sidewalknarratives.blogspot.com/