This is a public sidewalk, not a church

MAVERICK pedestrian, VONN, batted away the sidewalk preacher's pronouncements, "Tell Jesus to F*** OFF! Passers-by stopped to see what the all the uproar was about.. Stunned onlookers on the benches outside the sidewalk's Pure Raw Foods place, held their breaths. Some sniggered. Fernandez, aka, the sidewalk playboy, was crafting raw desserts; smoothies with coconut oil, raw cocoa powder, and cucumber, but was too disorientated to toss the ingredients properly.


THE OPEN (unfazed, defiant)

JESUS said " I am the way the truth and the life....


VONN
(repeatedly)

Tell Jesus to F*** OFF!....



THE OPEN

....NO-ONE cometh to the FATHER but by me...



VONN

This is a public sidewalk, not a church.....Tell Jesus to F*** OFF!



THE OPEN

You can tell HIM yourself when you see HIM....if you EVER see his face..


VONN

Don't talk too much. PLEASE!


THE OPEN

Everyone MUST be born again. Accept Christ as your personal saviour. TODAY! It's time to follow the Lord's footsteps.


VONN

Bla Bla Bla....Shut up! This is  PUBLIC sidewalk, not a church


Ratajkowski

(to Vonn)

This is a public sidewalk, the Man of God is free to do what he likes. If you don't want to listen, DON'T listen


VONN

I don't want to listen to him


Ratajkowski

Then go and sit on another sidewalk bench. Walk on, and leave the Man of God alone.



THE OPEN

Amen. Only his blood can save us. We have all sinned.....


VONN

ENOUGH! My God! Shut up!


THE OPEN

Come and shut me up! You cannot see the Kingdom of God unless you repent...


VONN
(sang mockingly)

HALLELUJAH


Ratajkowski
(shook head in scorn)

Are you taking the Man of God's sermon for a JOKE?


THE OPEN

Singing hallelujah not gonna save you. Unless you repent... you are gonna end up in the wrong place - HELL!


VONN

GO TO HELL!



FAUXPAS

Let him speak his religion..You must learn to be tolerant of others' religions. This is a free sidewalk. Otherwise, JOG ON!


Ratajkowski

Amen!


Pasapalabra

This is a free sidewalk. Pedestrians have a right to RELAX on the benches, enjoy the sun - without this FLIPPING annoyance. This is not the time or place for sermons. Find a church or something...


THE OPEN
(faced Pasapalabra sternly)

NO-ONE cometh to the FATHER but by me....

VONN

....Shut up!


The OPEN

I don't need this from you ANYMORE

..................................................

words by zokaya kamara

SEE ALSO

https://www.facebook.com/TheSidewalkDarlings

http://sidewalknarratives.blogspot.com/

www.twitter.com/zokayakamara

and other sidewalk health NUTS

UTILISING real fruits; mangoes, mixed berries, strawberries, soursops, SHOMUNI, aka the sidewalk playboy crafts SWEET, FRESH smoothies for the sidewalk style sirens, jogging, brisk-walking and other sidewalk health NUTS.

SHOMUNI

Welcome to the Pure raw Foods place, Ryan, sorry, I mean RANDY. How may I help?


RANDY

I'm gonna try your raw desserts today, SHOMUNI


Rivera
Yuck! Aren't you scared of food poisoning and diarrhoea? Raw foods is not healthy.. It's not for HUMANS......I love your cute summer dress... and wedges. Its going to be hot so cuteness, casualness and comfort are fundamental.Very casual


SHOMUNI

.....Don't believe the NONSENSE you heard about 'raw foods are bad for you.' I have never heard such, unpalatable, indigestible NONSENSE.



RANDY
Me neither


Rivera
GOSH Shomuni! I know you are passionate about your pure raw foods' beliefs so I have no objective to perpetuating a verbal war


SHOMUNI

Me neither...Everyday, we serve raw desserts to the fashionable sidewalk - bowls of raw smoothieS, raw salads, raw juices, bigger than your head. So far, no one's tooth has dropped out - only a little cat-like flatulence

.....................................

words by zokaya kamara

SEE ALSO

https://www.facebook.com/TheSidewalkDarlings

http://sidewalknarratives.blogspot.com/

www.twitter.com/zokayakamara

will NEVER touch my lips..

WHILE crafting bad-ass fruit salads, for the sidewalk fashionistas, a suited and booted Andy, aka the sidewalk playboy, was interrupted by a tastefully-attired passer-by, Zara.

ZARA
What raw ingredients are you experimenting with today, Andy?


ANDY
watermelon, cantaloupe, pineapple, grapes, and erm, erm, almonds...It's gonna be a bad-ass desserts

ZARA
Gorgeous..No raw asparagus salad?

ANDY
asparagus is very versatile. It can be prepared in so many different ways - steamed, cooked, grilled...HOWEVER, here at the Pure Raw Foods place, we use use it RAW in salads, smoothies, juices...wait a minute....Yesterday, you told me how much you detested asparagus. Why the sudden interest?


ZARA
(pointed down the sidewalk)

Look! MAVERICK sidewalk police, Lamar, is heading this way. He'll reach us in a few minutes.....I MUST pass any drug test he administer on me...You sure you don't have some left-over raw asparagus salads from yesterday?


ANDY

(laughed)

Get out of here! You JOKER


ZARA
(cackled)

ANd you are my MENTOR.....My first skool.....I still HATE asparagus. It will NEVER touch my lips..


........................................................................

words by zokaya kamara

SEE ALSO

https://www.facebook.com/TheSidewalkDarlings

http://sidewalknarratives.blogspot.com/

www.twitter.com/zokayakamara

using ONLY fresh, raw ingredients

AT THE sidewalk's Pure Raw Foods place, a suited and booted Wimbledon, aka the sidewalk playboy crafts sumptuous desserts using ONLY fresh, raw ingredients. The sidewalk fashionistas growing appetite for his creations, keeps him very busy.

[WATCHES AS PEDESTRIAN, KWOK TRIPS OVER HIS DOG, Kat Von, FALLS ON HIS FACE]


MILEY

　
Craft me a special salad....with broccoli and fruits...any fruit.


Wimbledon

I can craft you a special salad, but not with vegetables and fruits combined


MILEY

Why not?

Wimbledon

I NEVER mix the two in salads


MILEY

Okay. You know best



[ Marian and Mr Lucarelli walk pass a sidewalk bench - TOPLESS. Wimbledon nods at them in approval]



WIMBLEDON

Thanks. I can combine tomatoes with broccoli


MILEY

Tomatoes makes me develop skin rashes. I love pretty much all fruits and vegetables but not tomatoes.

　


No problem. I have cauliflower

　

MILEY

Great.! I love it , I love it , I love it . Can't live without it...


KARIMA

.....Calm down...



MILEY

....I wish my children would adopt my style, and not their father's. He does'nt like vegetables at all. He will eat vegetables but only from a can. And like you said 'fresh fruits and Vegetables are superior.'

　

WIMBLEDON

That's right. But it's still better to eat fruits and vegetables from a can, than not eating any at all..Some vegetables and fruits are not available fresh, so it's fine to have the frozen or canned ones.

　

KARIMA

Fruits and vegetables in cans? What the HELL! I would'nt eat that...I wish my children would adopt my style

　

MILEY

Don't be rude!

　

KARIMA

SHUT UP! You're too sensitive

................................................

[Jaclyn urinates on the sidewalk]


WIMBLEDON
(in disgust)

Crazy man!


Tsarnaev

I can't afford fresh vegetables


GOMEZ

Well, you can plant your vegetables


Tsarnaev

I knew you would say that. For your information, I would live to plant my own vegetables, but I don't have the time and place


WIMBLEDON

Well, shop around for discounted fruits and vegetables. Most times, they are taste just as good, and have the same nutritional value, as premium ones

　
Tsarnaev

GOMEZ, I hope someday, you'll be forced to eat fruits and vegetables from cans.

　

GOMEZ

I would'nt mind...Like the sidewalk playboy said, 'it's better to eat them from a can, than not eating any at all.

....................................................

words by zokaya kamara

SEE ALSO

https://www.facebook.com/TheSidewalkDarlings

http://sidewalknarratives.blogspot.com/

www.twitter.com/zokayakamara

Is it okay to eat RAW kale

AARON, aka the sidewalk playboy sniggers as he prepares ingredients. Chewing gums, Bernard had just jogged passed.



PASSER-BY, Wozniacki:

I just started healthy eating...a vegan lifestyle, to be precise. I need some advice...Is it okay to eat RAW kale?


SIDEWALK PLAYBOY, Aaron

Welcome to the sidewalk's Raw Foods Place. Everyday, we craft raw desserts for sidewalk fashionistas on their healthy journey...The answer is YES and.....yes! The flavor is out of this world.


Wozniacki:

Any suggested recipes?


Aaron

Take a seat. I'll let you taste one in an hour or so...Right now I'm crafting a bad-ass raw kale smoothie for the sidewalk fashionistas.....


Wozniacki

Wow!


Aaron

Other ingredients are tomatoes, blueberries, Brazil nuts and pumpkin seeds


Wozniacki

 That sound delectable, sidewalk playboy


Aaron

 It's ultra- amazing. You'll love it



Wozniacki

By the way, did you hear that the sidewalk will be closed to pedestrians tommorow?



Aaron

What!. Why on earth will they such a thing? That's CRAZY!



Wozniacki

I just got my drivers licence...Tomorrow, I'll drive my new car for the first time


Aaron
(sarcastically)

Exciting

.......................................................


words by zokaya kamara]

SEE ALSO

https://www.facebook.com/TheSidewalkDarlings

http://sidewalknarratives.blogspot.com/

www.twitter.com/zokayakamara

sMOOTHIE TIME

Nothing like a kick-ass banana smoothie from the sidewalk's Nature base Boutique. It causes cat-like flatulence in certain factions of the stylish sidewalk diaspora but no one gives a heck. Existing customers still crave it and new ones are willing to try it. Besides, Palme d'Or, aka the sidewalk playboy, finds it easy and convenient to make. No need to stress about his statement suit and tie getting dirty or his impeccably edgy look, getting messed up in the process.


[TASSIE chases missing cat on the sidewalk, Nick parks her car on the sidewalk]


Passer-by, CARRIE
(grunts)

Where does she expects pedestrians to walk now?....Anyway, I heard that you are the artisan of the greatest raw foods dinner...What's your special today?


Palme d'Or

I think Nick is only concerned about other motorists hitting her new car. It's quite safe on the sidewalk...We do DESSERTS, not dinner. Today, we have a wicked smoothie. It's a complete meal, so it has a good amount of protein and enough carbohydrates....We NEED protein.



CARRIE

.....sounds wonderful and healthy. Bring me one. Wait. What are the ingredients?


[TASSIE slips and scrapes knees]


Palme d'Or

Ripe mangoes, strawberries, ripe bananas, raw honey, rolled oats, flax seeds, raspberries, peanut butter, blackberries, skim milk, blueberries,.....great for lunch. Great way to start your afternoon. I used apples as well, and some crunchy raw goji berries.


CARRIE

Any dairy?

Palme d'Or

Not today, sorry. Actually, there are no skim milk. That was a mistake....I blended the raw ingredients in raw rasberry sauce, almond milk and raw honey.


CARRIE

You have some pretty good ideas. Almond milk is a great substitute for dairy milk. No wonder it looks so creamy.


JOANNE PEH

SIdewalk playboy, I notice you NEVER mention how much of each ingredient you used in your raw foods concoctions?

Palme d'Or

Crafting raw foods dishes is not an exact science, so I never meausure the ingreidents. I just use amounts that I fancy, amounts that are convenient etc...

Joanne Peh
(laughs)

Sound like a whole lot of EXPERIMENTATIONS to me.


Palme d'Or
That's exactly what they are.


Joanne Peh

That sounds amazing. No better way to share desserts on the sidewalk

[BILL clears throat loudly.]
..............................

Palme d'Or

You'll love it. It tastes great. has no nasty ingredients. It'll fill you with boundless energy. It may make you fart alot though.


ADRIAN

That make me really HUNGRY..I LIKE it. I wish I could like this twice..If goodness makes me fart, so be it.


[LAUGHTER]


BILL

No thank you. I'll NEVER have bird food for lunch. (walking away) The sidewalk barbeque smells delicious. I bet it's cheaper too.


ADRIAN

That make me really ANGRY, Bill.


BILL

Why though? Did the sidewalk playboy hire you as spokesperson for Nature Base Boutique?


JESSIE

(shouts at a pedestrian approaching him)

STOP texting while walking on the busy sidewalk, you LEMMING!

..........................................

words by zokaya kamara]

SEE ALSO

https://www.facebook.com/TheSidewalkDarlings

http://sidewalknarratives.blogspot.com/

www.twitter.com/zokayakamara

tastefully stunning Dandelion leaves salad

EVERY DAY, raw salads artisan, Chris, aka the sidewalk playboy, crafts LOVELY, raw salads and raw smoothies that makes the sidewalk diaspora, HUNGRY - before lunch, even those who claim to have an aversion to raw foods. Today will be no exception. That's delicious!

[PEDESTRIAN REMONSTRATES WITH MOTORIST WHO BREAKS SHARPLY AT TRAFFIC LIGHT,(Chris feels entertained)]

Dandelion season is here. In a few weeks, they will disappear until next year. The leaves are great for salads. Dandelion greens are good for your health and well-being.  They cleanse the liver, blood and kidneys. They are packed with minerals and vitamins, just what our bodies need.

[A GROUP OF RANDOM MEN ARE DOING PUSH UPS, BENDING AND SQUATTING ON THE SIDEWALK]


The sidewalk diaspora will get the OPPORTUNITY to taste raw dandelion salads today. Donning an impeccably stylish outfit, Chris is crafting a very tasty dandelion leaves salad . Yummy. He made sure to pick the leaves on the sidewalk, while they were young; before they start to flower.  The young leaves are a lot, LESS bitter than their old counterparts. Exclude the stems; they're can be bitter.

[SLEET PELTS THE SIDEWALK. THE SOUND AND SIGHT ARE BOTH RELAXING]



The sidewalk playboy, Chris, mixes Dandelion leaves, dandelion flowers(it's adviseable to use flowers sparingly) sweet red pepper, cucumbers, pecans, rose hips,(lots of vitamin C)sunflower seeds, hemp seeds, collard greens, tomatoes, beets, fresh parsley, spinach, mustard, turnip greens, white onions, leeks and spinach (packed with iron)

Chris properly RINSED, all the above ingredients, to get rid of dirt and, er, ubiquitous creatures. TOADS, anyone?


For the dressing, Chris mixes, extra virgin olive oil, balsamic vinegar, raw honey, black pepper, rock salts. Then he pours mixture over the large bowl of mixed vegetables and seeds. Places bowl in fridge to marinate for a few hours.



(LATER - First passers-by have their say)



MARGARET

people actually eat RAW dandelion leaves? Yuck. It's too bitter for me....Disgusting!

DAVID

they are supposed to be very good for your liver. This salad is quite delicious, ACTUALLY.

CHRIS
They ARE good for your liver...It's not bitter, because I picked the blooms BEFORE they bloomed.

MARGARET
So what part of the dandelion plant do you use, Chris


Just the leaves

DAVID
Okay then. Not bad. Not bad at all. the leaves tastes good in desserts.

CHRIS
Oh, I used a handful dandelion flowers also

MARGARET
The FLOWERS? Yuck! You make some strange salads, Chris...That must be bitter as hell. I've eaten them....cooked. Raw dandelion leaves, and especially, the flowers, are bitter. I don't think I'd enjoy the RAW TASTES


[SPRINKLED SIDEWALK RELEASE AN AMAZING AROMA]

CHRIS
It's not bitter AT ALL. The other ingredients give the salad a beautiful flavor...Dandelion greens are low in calories and packed with fibre. Just saying


I don't care


CHRIS

If you try this raw dandelion salad, I guarantee, it will become your ultimate weakness.

.......

  [words by zokaya kamara]

SEE ALSO

https://www.facebook.com/TheSidewalkDarlings

http://sidewalknarratives.blogspot.com/

www.twitter.com/zokayakamara

Pink salmon salad

PASSERS-BY on the sidewak, relish their new guilty-pleasure - raw salads, prepared daily by Ashton, aka, the sidewalk playboy. Some of them have a raw; fruit or vegetable, salad, EVERY DAY. It's their new honey. No other dietary source of sweetness will do. Eat your heart out.

(Yvette walk briskly on sidewalk, Brad emerges from a sidewalk stall and steps in front of her. Gross!)

As we speak, Ashton, the dapper sidewalk playboy, is making a kick-ass - to-die-for, Raw Salmon salad. He expects passers-by who have first servings, to be tempted into to having second servings.

(altercation breaks out between two groups of pedestrians. Group B's power walk is halted when they find it impossible to pass Group A, ambling in front, reading newspaper, texting, swaying from side to side on the sidewalk. extra flavor! yummy treat!)

In a large bowl, Ashton mixes together the following fresh,  RAW foods:

crushed red pepper, pounded peanuts, kale, mint, Kelp noodles, finely-chopped spring onions aka scallions, asparagus, shredded zucchini, peeled and grated carrots, chopped chilli, avocado, pine nuts, tomatoes, raw onion, crushed garlic, cumin seeds, baby spinach, onion powder, and of course, heaps of raw crumbled raw pink salmon.

(Pedestrian walk away quickly after his dog finished sh*tting on the sidewalk. TASTELESS! Another pedestrian shout Are you gonna pick that up? then offered the culprit  a plastic bag to put the MESS in. Serve him....right)

Over that mixture, the amused sidewalk playboy drizzles a mixture of raw honey, Himalayan rock salt olive oil and lemon juice and lime juice and rice vinegar. Stir frantically. Then place the bowl in the refrigerator to marinate for TWO HOURS


(LATER - sidewalk's lunch time)


Happiness is written all over the faces of those devouring it now. Even a sidewalk worker who earlier admitted his disdain for raw baby spinach. Yuck!

　
RYAN
This salad is to-die-for, Ashton. I’ll have one for lunch every day at work.

ASHTON

Soon, you’ll forget that tiresome pastry desserts were your ultimate guilty pleasures

(jokingly) Were they?

　

JENNIFER
Best raw salad ever. Yummy. I could eat it every day.

ASHTON

You SHOUld eat it every day!

MICHELLE
Your raw salad smells delicious!!! I got to try some today.

ASHTON

It’s okay to hate raw vegetables, but there is no harm in trying it – ONLY GOODNESS.

.......
 [words by zokaya kamara]

SEE ALSO

https://www.facebook.com/TheSidewalkDarlings

http://sidewalknarratives.blogspot.com/

www.twitter.com/zokayakamara

Banana pudding

Sidewalk playboy, Abalos tuned into the light entertainment on the sidewalk bench, while baking banana pudding for passers-by. He loves baking desserts for the cherished sidewalk diaspora. When they smile in enjoyment and appreciation of his delicacies, it makes his day.

BRUNO:

You drink too much! You should stop drinking.

Margaret:

What do you mean?

Bruno

I'm SAYING what I mean. You love drinking too much. ENOUGH! I don't wanna hang out with a DRUNK


Abalos sense his dessert will be popular today. It's easy to make. It smells amazing.No other dessert taste better.Anyone turning up for left-overs will be unlucky. There will be NONE. Those who have it today, will miss it tommorrow.



Margaret

But you are as drunk as HELL. That's why you shouting like that...in front of all these people. UGH!


Life is short. Give them what they crave and desire. No one wants to miss out on today's treat. Let's hope, YOU have not been missing out. If you haven't tasted banana pudding before, drop by the sidewalk Desserts and Puddings stall


Bruno

That banana pudding smells NASTY...Anyway, I drink because I can fight to defend myself. YOU CAN'T!

...............................................
https://www.facebook.com/TheSidewalkDarlings
http://sidewalknarratives.blogspot.com/

www.twitter.com/zokayakamara

sidewalk puddings and desserts

No fashion event on today, so sidewalk playboy, George, aka Two Hit Wonder, is back on the sidewalk, making up another fashion song in his head, watching some pedestrians running and doing push-ups,  WHILE  baking delectable puddings and desserts for the sidewalk diaspora. Treats for today - butternut squash pudding and Fruit cocktail cake dessert. YUMMY!

If you have never had butternut squash pudding, you should try it. It's not only interesting-sounding, it also taste and smells good. Your sense of taste and smell will be in savory heaven.

Fruit cocktail cake dessert is on point. It has no icing but that doesn't stop passers-by, snared by the delicious aroma, from queuing up long before its even ready. Trust me, it taste much nicer than those in the shops. Much better than mixed fruits.

Chocolate cake is less basic and more challenging, but George will be making it tomorrow. Cheese cake, Chocolate sponge cake with melted glaze chocolate on top;recipes coming up later this week.

Here is the chorus for the new fashion song he has started writing:

KNAPSACK


I have a knack for carrying alot
Sidewalk playboy, how you do that?
You'll never flap
With a knapsack
A kick-ass bag that I carry on my back
Everyone on the sidewalk
Has one of that



https://www.facebook.com/TheSidewalkDarlings
http://sidewalknarratives.blogspot.com/

www.twitter.com/zokayakamara