This is a public sidewalk, not a church

MAVERICK pedestrian, VONN, batted away the sidewalk preacher's pronouncements, "Tell Jesus to F*** OFF! Passers-by stopped to see what the all the uproar was about.. Stunned onlookers on the benches outside the sidewalk's Pure Raw Foods place, held their breaths. Some sniggered. Fernandez, aka, the sidewalk playboy, was crafting raw desserts; smoothies with coconut oil, raw cocoa powder, and cucumber, but was too disorientated to toss the ingredients properly.


THE OPEN (unfazed, defiant)

JESUS said " I am the way the truth and the life....


VONN
(repeatedly)

Tell Jesus to F*** OFF!....



THE OPEN

....NO-ONE cometh to the FATHER but by me...



VONN

This is a public sidewalk, not a church.....Tell Jesus to F*** OFF!



THE OPEN

You can tell HIM yourself when you see HIM....if you EVER see his face..


VONN

Don't talk too much. PLEASE!


THE OPEN

Everyone MUST be born again. Accept Christ as your personal saviour. TODAY! It's time to follow the Lord's footsteps.


VONN

Bla Bla Bla....Shut up! This is  PUBLIC sidewalk, not a church


Ratajkowski

(to Vonn)

This is a public sidewalk, the Man of God is free to do what he likes. If you don't want to listen, DON'T listen


VONN

I don't want to listen to him


Ratajkowski

Then go and sit on another sidewalk bench. Walk on, and leave the Man of God alone.



THE OPEN

Amen. Only his blood can save us. We have all sinned.....


VONN

ENOUGH! My God! Shut up!


THE OPEN

Come and shut me up! You cannot see the Kingdom of God unless you repent...


VONN
(sang mockingly)

HALLELUJAH


Ratajkowski
(shook head in scorn)

Are you taking the Man of God's sermon for a JOKE?


THE OPEN

Singing hallelujah not gonna save you. Unless you repent... you are gonna end up in the wrong place - HELL!


VONN

GO TO HELL!



FAUXPAS

Let him speak his religion..You must learn to be tolerant of others' religions. This is a free sidewalk. Otherwise, JOG ON!


Ratajkowski

Amen!


Pasapalabra

This is a free sidewalk. Pedestrians have a right to RELAX on the benches, enjoy the sun - without this FLIPPING annoyance. This is not the time or place for sermons. Find a church or something...


THE OPEN
(faced Pasapalabra sternly)

NO-ONE cometh to the FATHER but by me....

VONN

....Shut up!


The OPEN

I don't need this from you ANYMORE

..................................................

words by zokaya kamara

SEE ALSO

https://www.facebook.com/TheSidewalkDarlings

http://sidewalknarratives.blogspot.com/

www.twitter.com/zokayakamara

and other sidewalk health NUTS

UTILISING real fruits; mangoes, mixed berries, strawberries, soursops, SHOMUNI, aka the sidewalk playboy crafts SWEET, FRESH smoothies for the sidewalk style sirens, jogging, brisk-walking and other sidewalk health NUTS.

SHOMUNI

Welcome to the Pure raw Foods place, Ryan, sorry, I mean RANDY. How may I help?


RANDY

I'm gonna try your raw desserts today, SHOMUNI


Rivera
Yuck! Aren't you scared of food poisoning and diarrhoea? Raw foods is not healthy.. It's not for HUMANS......I love your cute summer dress... and wedges. Its going to be hot so cuteness, casualness and comfort are fundamental.Very casual


SHOMUNI

.....Don't believe the NONSENSE you heard about 'raw foods are bad for you.' I have never heard such, unpalatable, indigestible NONSENSE.



RANDY
Me neither


Rivera
GOSH Shomuni! I know you are passionate about your pure raw foods' beliefs so I have no objective to perpetuating a verbal war


SHOMUNI

Me neither...Everyday, we serve raw desserts to the fashionable sidewalk - bowls of raw smoothieS, raw salads, raw juices, bigger than your head. So far, no one's tooth has dropped out - only a little cat-like flatulence

.....................................

words by zokaya kamara

SEE ALSO

https://www.facebook.com/TheSidewalkDarlings

http://sidewalknarratives.blogspot.com/

www.twitter.com/zokayakamara

will NEVER touch my lips..

WHILE crafting bad-ass fruit salads, for the sidewalk fashionistas, a suited and booted Andy, aka the sidewalk playboy, was interrupted by a tastefully-attired passer-by, Zara.

ZARA
What raw ingredients are you experimenting with today, Andy?


ANDY
watermelon, cantaloupe, pineapple, grapes, and erm, erm, almonds...It's gonna be a bad-ass desserts

ZARA
Gorgeous..No raw asparagus salad?

ANDY
asparagus is very versatile. It can be prepared in so many different ways - steamed, cooked, grilled...HOWEVER, here at the Pure Raw Foods place, we use use it RAW in salads, smoothies, juices...wait a minute....Yesterday, you told me how much you detested asparagus. Why the sudden interest?


ZARA
(pointed down the sidewalk)

Look! MAVERICK sidewalk police, Lamar, is heading this way. He'll reach us in a few minutes.....I MUST pass any drug test he administer on me...You sure you don't have some left-over raw asparagus salads from yesterday?


ANDY

(laughed)

Get out of here! You JOKER


ZARA
(cackled)

ANd you are my MENTOR.....My first skool.....I still HATE asparagus. It will NEVER touch my lips..


........................................................................

words by zokaya kamara

SEE ALSO

https://www.facebook.com/TheSidewalkDarlings

http://sidewalknarratives.blogspot.com/

www.twitter.com/zokayakamara