a must NOT read, for dog lovers

A HOMELESS man suffered a sudden seizure on the sidewalk. With a view to revive him, the sidewalk police interveened. The homeless man's pitbull, mistakenly thinking, its owner was being attacked, charged at the police. Onlookers watched in horror as a police officer opened fire on the defenseless dog. Pandemonium broke loose among the throng of onlookers.


BRADY:

POLICE BRUTALITY!


Dunkin' Donuts:

She was ONLY trying to protect him, as any faithful dog would have done. They didnt have to shoot her.


A Police Officer:

She was trying to kill US


KRISTIN:

Instead of shooting the innocent dog, you could have called Animal Control, you stupid ANIMAL!


JOEY:

WHAT THE HELL!


Pussy:

To Hell with the police!


Rihanna:

How's the dog

KIM:

Is the dog ok

KRISTEN:

Is it still alive

Let's call an ambulance for the dog before it dies

.......................................................................................................
POLICE: STAND BACK PLEASE!


ZEEK:

Everyone is going crazy because a threatening dog got shot, what about the poor homeless. Anyone wanna know how he's doing? You all acting like the dog's life is more important than that of a human being. GET A LIFE!

KIM:

I can't believe the police shoot the dog, what's the world coming to?

Vanessa:

If it was my dog, I'd institute legal proceeding against the police department.

......................................................................................................................

WILLIAM:

If they felt, they had to shoot the dog, they could have shot her in the leg, instead of in the head.


AIR:

Let the police do their jobs. if the man had a seizure, then he was finished anyway. Besides, he was homeless, so what's the point of him?



Vanessa:

This is so sad. You are even sadder. Have you no heart?


Idler:

Horrible day!


ZEEK:

What did you want the police to do? Stand there and be mauled to death by this ferocious dog? They have a right to defend themselves. A pitbull is a very vicious animal.


Pussy:

PREJUDICE!!!!


PHELPS:

They had no right to make the poor animal suffer so much and so long before it died


ZEEK:

I can't dispute that.


KRISTEN:

Poor dog died out of sheer loyalty for its owner


KRISTIN:

I'm a animal lover, through and through. My dog brings so much joy to my life. I'd die if she is killed, especially out of loyalty to me. But I understand why the police.......


PUSSY:

.......SNITCH!!!!!!


..................................................

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Riding bicycle on sidewalk

WALKING on the sidewalk is arguably, the safest means of getting around. No angry motowrists hurling abuse or threatening physical violence. However, there is no antidote for the vituperation, a jingoistic or abstemious sidewalk darling will mete out, if you cross him/her. So watch out for those pedestrians'  tongues -  and fists.

BICYCLE TYRES SCREECH ON SIDEWALK, PEDESTRIAN AND DOG RUN FOR COVER


MARS:

CYCLE LANE! Use the Cycle lane. I mean GET THE HELL OFF THE SIDEWALK!


PHILIP:

Why the HELL are you riding your bicycle all over the sidewalk? There is a safe cycle lane RIGHT THERE, yet you RETARD, choose to ride on the sidewalk. Your'e gonna unlawfully run over an innocent pedestrian. UGH!


POWERBALL:

Sorry. I hit the gear shift by mistake. So I lost control of the bicycle. Besides, its not safe to ride in the cycle lanes around here. Motorists are always running over cyclists in the cycle lane.


PHILIP:

I don't care. If you don't know how to ride a bicycle PROPERLY, you should leave your bicycle at home..Your'e an adult for, heaven sake, you should be a role model. So where is your helmet?


POWERBALL:

A helmet?  it's sweltering and you want me to wear a damn helmet? Are you nuts?


PHILIP: (keying numbers on blackberry)

The police will decide who is nuts...


POWERBALL:

.....Please don't call the police. I don't wanna get another official warning, today.



PHILIP:

Don't worry, when I explain what happened, the police WONT give you an official warning, they will just give you a ticket.....You'll never  learn that when you ride, you should be on the cycle lane, UNLESS, you're taught a lesson.


POWERBALL:

Whatever!!! Snitch...Those DOUCHE could never catch me, anyway, so go ahead and call them. They love burghers too muchFrankly, I don't see what's the fuss about. if I hit a pedestrian, he/she will get away with few scratches. On the other hand, if a motorists hit me in the cycle lane, I'd die



PHILIP:

Whatever!

.................................................

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Donovan sreams at TWONK driver 'THE BAND'

PEDESTRIAN,Donovan, remonstrates with and screams at speeding motorist who narrowly miss knacking over an old lady,Nicollette who pursues her dog, Nikon, onto the road.

Motorist, 'THE BAND':

KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE SIDEWALK, you TWONK...Stop getting into people's business and mind your own..You need THERAPHY.


DONOVAN:

It's DULLARDS like you who endangers lives on the road, who drives me mad... You have no consideration for the old lady trying to save her dog from oncoming traffic; she takes a big chance when she stepped off the sidewalk..


'THE BAND': (drives off)

you are too HILARIOUS

snow on everyone's lips

EAVESDROPPER Jason Wu:

I've been walking on the sidewalk for ages and everyone I tries to hobnob with, has been talking about the DAMN snow. EVERYONE! Who the hell started this solecism! The only thing I have seen so far is lots of dogs' shit. NO SNOW. UGH!



DESCHANEL:

Why are you walking, don’t you have a car?



CLIFFORD:

WHO ARE YOU? And why are YOU walking? Don’t you have a car?



DESCHANEL:

I just need the motivation for my Zumba lessons. If I don't, tomorrow I'll have to spend a few hours on the running machine.



CLIFFORD:

I have no ride but I can't stay home all day without my supply of junk food.



DESCHANEL:

Aiming to get bigger and better this year?



CLIFFORD:

YES. I mean NO. no and yes.



DESCHANEL:

Make up your mind man...By the way, what's your na...?




DESCHANEL SLIDES ON SLIPPERY ICE. STARBUCKS COFFEE SPLASHES ALL OVER HIS BODY




DESCHANEL:

...Ouch!




EAVESDROPPER Jason Wu GRINS QUIETLY, CLIFFORD CACKLES



CLIFFORD:

What on earth....? Are you hurt? BURNT?




DESCHANEL:

I took ONLY one sip of it. Such a waste. GRRR!



CLIFFORD:

ARE YOU HURT?



DESCHANEL:


I don't know. let me check





EAVESDROPPER Jason Wu: (chuckles, stage whispers)

Good thing I brought my Android phone. Filmed it all. This deserves an instant post to YouTube. I can't wait to see the action unfolds in slow motion. Anyway, time to go about my business. Stupid snow, it's safer to walk on the road than on the sidewalk. Can you believe it? GRRR!





(walks on snow side of sidewalk)

The sidewalk is so DAMN dirty. We need lots of rain to get it clean. Not lots of DAMN SNOW. UGH! I love it though. It never rains but it snows.




IN THE DISTANCE, CHILDREN HURL SNOWBALLS ON PASSING VEHICLES




(mutters) It's impossible to walk through all this snow. If only these young people would get some shovels and get rid of it instead of just being plain silly and LAZY.




My kids are no better. They were still in their pyjamas, watching reruns of Scooby-Doo when I left home. UGH! My wife shovelled the snow like a man. Her stamina is awesome. Shoveling snow is not an easy task. I am not fond of snow. I HATE driving in it. I decided to go for a stroll before I got bored of doing nothing.




I was about to say you're kids needs a good whipping.But YOU'RE no better! GRRR!




TWO SENIOR CITIZENS SWEEPS AWAY SNOW




Now one understands how LAZY and silly these children are. These senior citizens are SHOWING THEM UP.




(smiles tearfully)



What's wrong?




POINTS AT CHILDREN USING LOTS OF SNOW TO WRITE 'SMILE' ON THE SIDEWALK



ahhhhh!




Makes me feel SO happy. You'll not believe it, and I can't explain it. I wish the sidewalk would light up now aqnd EVERYONE could get this incredible feeling.



Me too. I just feel like grabbing this lamp-post and dancing with it....




...PLEASE DON'T!



(Runs off)

I know what I'll do




What's that? And where are you going?




HOME to help my wife. That will make her smile




That's what husbands and kids are for. So get the kids off the damn computer, and let them help also.





EAVESDROPPER Jason Wu:

Moving on swiftly. If it continues snowing like this, it could be a white......2012 Christmas!!



Excuse me, would you like some help?
That was quick. I just started a few minutes ago. You’re such a gentleman!




He’s no gentleman. I’m the one who is struggling, yet he passed me as if I didn’t exist. Could it be because your'e young and slim, and I’m...well, middle-aged and pregnant?



(neighbour shouts from window)
You DAMN moron! We waited so long for the snow. So why the HELL are you clearing it away.




EXCUSE ME!She has every right to clear the damn snow from her gate. so GET LOST!




(smiles)
Thank you




You're welcome..And I'd love to help you, if you'll still give me the chance




Of course! I'm still mad though.... Kidding.




GREAT! Since she loves the snow so much, I suggest we pile up all the shovelled snow at her gate entrance.





What if she call the police



Just say her house was being ROBBED and you wanted to trap the thieves.


LAUGHTER


...................................................
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Pedestrians' Rage

Cyclist approaches Rage with his dog on a leash



CYCLIST(mouths)

Get out the way! Move!


RAGE(mouths back)

Hang on a minute. You're riding a bicycle on the sidewalk? And you are demanding that I move out the way? I DON’T THINK SO!



CYCLIST(mouths)

YES! And stop perving on me, I am not Heidi Montag



RAGE

Fudge that! I will kick you hard in your balls, you know. Don’t mess with me.



CYCLIST

In your dreams



RAGE(screams)

Get off the sidewalk and get on the road!



CYCLIST

If you don’t wanna see me ride my bike on the sidewalk, then get the fudge off. Walk somewhere else. Anywhere I ride my bicycle; the likes of you should not walk there.



RAGE(mouths)

Oh! So you own the sidewalk now? I'll teach you a lesson!



CYCLIST(mocks)

Oh! So you're the boss for the sidewalk now?



RAGE

Sorry you poor dog. You should not be punished for your master’s misdeed. But I am afraid, you are gonna get it too



CYCLIST

If you harm my dog, you will have to harm me as well. I will run you down and break your fudgeing neck.....I prefer to run you over than to be run over by a motorist. It's not safe at all to ride on the road. I am scared.



RAGE

It’s not safe to ride a bike at all…it’s best to go about your business in a car



CYCLIST

No can do. My New Year’s resolution was not to put on weight



RAGE(laughs)

Was it to take it off?



Just as they are about to pass each other, Rage deliberately stomps into a puddle of dirty water which splashes squarely into the cyclist’s face.



Rage roars in laughter.



CYCLIST

That’s not nice. Has anyone ever been this horrible to you?



The dog hardly got wet but it whimpers then scampers around the bike




RAGE

As a matter of fact, yes. SO since I did the same to you, just call it KARMA



Cyclist spins his bike around in a rage and chases Rage



CYCLIST

Well, I have a little déjà vu for you. Hope you'll like it



RAGE (jeers)

You are on a bike for Christ’s sake! Can't you go any faster than 2 miles an hour



CYCLIST

Maybe not, but BEWARE!



RAGE

You will have to catch me first. But you are ALREADY running last, so I dont see how you gonna catch me first.


Cyclist slowly unwinds the leash and sets the dog on Rage.



RAGE

Get a life you darn dog! If I had my paintball gun, I would not think twice what I'd would have done with it.



Dog chases Rage. Rage starts to walk a lot faster



RAGE

Hey turtle. Your dog is a little faster than you. Are you feeling proud or ashamed?




Cyclist let go off the leash completely. Dog catches Rage. Rage kicks at the dog's head but misses.



RAGE

Fudge! I Think I better walk for my life.



CYCLE

If I were you I would try RUNNING for your life - too late now anyway



RAGE

I never run. Why should I when I can walk at top speed? I am always ahead. I know I can do it this time as well.



Rage increases his speed a little more. The dog gets angrier, springs on Rage's rear and bites it. Rage cries out in pain.



CYCLIST( loud laughter)

I hope you have learnt your lesson, you sidewalk bully!



RAGE

Thank your lucky stars I have decided not to teach you a lesson




CYCLIST

MOUSE!



RAGE

I am a man, not a mouse. I just don't have the bail money. However, you still do not have the right to ride your bike on the sidewalk. So I am ready to fight you all the way to round 12 to defend the sidewalk norms....



CYCLIST

Bring it on! As you can see, I am still riding on the sidewalk as we speak..so what you gonna do about it



RAGE

Not today. Don't let me catch you tommorrow or any other day


Dog chew on Rages foot. Rage kick at it defiantly.



CYCLIST

MOUSE!



RAGE

I know you just withdraw money from RBC bank. Apart from your dog that BARKS alot....



CYCLIST

....and BITES rears



RAGE

....there are no witnesses, so if I were you, I would turn around and go about my business.



CYCLIST

You didnt you allow me to go about my business. did you? there is no real danger when cyclist ride on the sidewalk - only PERCEIVED. so you should have just leave me alone



RAGE

I am only doing my job. If it was safe for cyclist to ride on the sidewalk, that big sign saying CYCLIST NOT ALLOWED would not be there



CYCLIST

I get nauseous and nervous when I ride on the street



RAGE

If I catch you riding on the sidewalk again, when I finish with you, you will wish you were only feeling nauseous and nervous...The sidewalks are just for pedestrians.




CYCLIST (protests)

But I heard it's okay to ride on the sidewalk if you have a child on the back



RAGE

Do you have a child?



CYCLIST

No. But I might be a father someday



RAGE

Too much information....listen, I'll let you off today. You may ride on the sidewalk if you feel the need to do so. But you must make a swift detour if you see a pedestrian coming your way.



CYCLIST

Who do you think you are? You are not even fit to be a sidewalk cop. Everyone thinks you are a bully who push and kick pensioners, handcaps and children out of the way....



RAGE

....As soon as the pedestrian has passed, then you may re-enter the sidewalk.



CYCIST

I think you are actively trying to let me lose my respect for you and all other sidewalk cops



RAGE

For safety reasons, only people under 16 are allowed to ride on the sidewalk. You are behaving like a CHILD but you are a grown man. So you are clearly exempted. I really don’t give a fudge if you lose respect for me because I am doing my job properly


CYCLIST

Are you calling me old?



RAGE

I am calling you an ADULT. Do you have a problem with that. Would you like to make an official complaint to my superiors?



CYCLIST

Is it too much to ask for equality



RAGE

Look! Riding your bike is on the sidewalk is not allowed because it is dangerous. When you do so with a dog on a leash, you become more of a menace. I try to engage you....



CYCLIST

A menace? A menace to who? To what?



RAGE

To everyone!



CYCLIST

Everyone like who?



RAGE

Industry, commerce, trade.....



CYCLIST

....Are you out of your mind? You are so funny. You know that, right?



RAGE

I tried to engage you in a civil manner about your wrong doing but you do not care. Next time, I will do no such thing. I will just FINE you.



CYCLIST

I am confused. I rode on the streets yesterday and a driver said he would run me over if he ever caught me riding my bicycle on the streets as if it’s a motorized vehicle, today you are threatening me with a fine for riding on the sidewalk. My mother always said I should ride on the sidewalk. I have never disobeyed my mother.



RAGE

Sidewalk for pedestrians! If you love the sidewalk so much, then just give up the fudgeing bicycle


A powered wheel-chair speeds by. A midget drives, while a dwarf rides on the back. Rage sighs heavily and throws up his hands in despair.



CYCLIST

I am so proud of them



RAGE

Do you wanna feel the back of my hand?



SCENE 8

Location - side-walk

Characters - Rage, Cyclist



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she's watching the Casey Anthony murder trial live on YouTube. defence lawyers makes her rage http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-ALL-That-RAGE-series/187046614676051