skater falls on sidewalk

SIDEWALK FM PLAYS AVRIL ALVIGNE'S 'SKATER BOY.' Everyone watches in awe as CL P skates skillfully down the sidewalk with two bags of groceries in both hands. The approaching skaters, afraid of falling or colliding with him, looked quite stiff. However, you could tell that CL P had skated before. To the admiring pedestrians and onlookers, he displays poise, grace and a swagger.


CL P swerves just a bit to avoid a pot hole. Everyone jumps and gasps. He smiles to assure them that he is STILL in FULL control.



CHEERING AND APPLAUSE



Some mangoes fall from one of CL P's grocery bags as he attempts some skateboard tricks. He tried to hold the bags proplerly, lost control, then fell in the split position, on the bags.



CL P:

OUCH!!!Holy crap.



HARD LAUGHTER

Pedestrians normally find it hilarious when skaters fall, especially after failing to accomplish attempted tricks.



CL P is badly bruised. He groans as he eases himself off the crushed vegetables and fruits. To make matters worse, in an attempt to get his skateboard off the ground, he kicks its edge, but fails to catch it, so it flies straight into his groin.


HOLDING HIS GROIN AREA, HE GROANS



LAUGHTER




hocus pocus:

He looks like someone just beat him up. OUCH!


Billie Piper:

Whoever said today was'nt gonna be boring, GOT IT WRONG


LAUGHTER


hocus pocus:

Indeed, today is gonna be a great day on the sidewalk


Billie Piper:

Ouch, ouch, ouch. Good thing I brought my camera. I can make some serious money from spectacles like this



hocus pocus:

Too bad, there is no carpet on the sidewalk to cushion his FALL..



Billie Piper:

...FAIL!



LAUGHTER



hocus pocus:

All his swagger has been lost now



Billie Piper:

OUCH!



hocus pocus:

He should stick to walking on the sidewalk



LAUGHTER






CL P BLEEDS FROM THE SIDE OF HIS FACE. PEOPLE RUSH TO HIS RESCUE



Billie Piper:

Are you okay?


CL P:

Think I suffered a concussion


hocus pocus:

Did you hit your head?


CL P:

NO!


hocus pocus:

It's not a concussion then. You are just feeling light-HEADED



Billie Piper:

Doctor on the sidewalk!


LAUGHTER



hocus pocus:

SHUT UP, YOU MITTLE!


CL P:

OUCH!


HOCUS POCUS SHOOTS CL P A DIRTY LOOK


CL P:

I'M IN PAIN, REMEMBER?


hocus pocus:

WHATEVER! anyway, I know a injury lawyer...


CL P takes one last look at everyone then walk away as if nothing had happened.


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SIDEWALK LOOKS http://sidewalknarratives.blogspot.com/

clash on bus

Passengers pour off packed bus. African tries to board, realizing that he is unlikely to land himself a seat, took off his cap and quickly threw it on a newly vacant seat. 'I'm gonna sit there', he announces.

An african already on board, hisses his teeth, pushes the cap aside and plants himself on the seat.



scott hall:

Can't you see my cap on it? It's MY seat. UGH!



Kara Tointon:

I been standing on the bus for hours. You're not even on board as yet, yet you are DEMANDING SEAT. UGH



scott hall

IT DOES NOT MATTER! you should just let me have the seat since my cap is on it. thats my roots. UGH!


PASSENGERS PUT AWAY THEIR SMARTPHONES, BOOKS AND TABLETS, EAGER TO WITNESS THE CLASH ESCALATE.



Kara Tointon:

sorry, you're not in Africa, YOU'RE NOT IN AFRICA


Scott takes up his cap then turn his back on Kara.



Hayley Roberts

PUNCH HIM!



lindsey lohan:

Two grown men with no courtesy for the kids on board. It's too early for this bullshit. STOP IT!


scott hall:

EARLY? I am so late for work


EXCITED LAUGHTER


scott hall GETS OFF AT NEXT STOP



Kara Tointon:

COWARD!



scott hall:

Actually, this is my INTENDED stop.



Hayley Roberts:

Damn! I thought they would exchange blows over the seat


lindsey lohan:

That would have been pretty exciting stuff



Hayley Roberts

Sometime when I'm on a packed bus I would vacate my seat long before I reach my stop



lindsey lohan:

THAT'S THOUGHTFUL OF YOU. I do the same for pensioners, disabled people or people with babies. YOU?



Hayley Roberts:


I do it just to observe other passengers fighting for it. HILARIOUS!

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PENSIONER ON BUS

PENSIONER ON BUS


Pensioner

Pick up the phone. PLEASE! I know you're there. JUST PICK UP THE PHONE..PICK..UP...THE...PHONE..PICK THE PHONE UP.....Why do you REFUSE to answer my calls all the time?... I am just calling to let you know that I will be home soon...I have been stucked on the bus for 5 minutes. There's a fat woman beside me. Her baby WILL NOT stop crying. It's driving me INSANE. My back is killing me. ..There is a TWAT sitting in front of me....HE SMELLS.....I don't wanna take another bus. When I get off this one, I'll just walk it home....I will wALK IT HOME. I don't want you to pick me up anywhere. It's fine. It will not take me long to walk it home. Don't worry. It will kill me to get on another bus today.... You dont have to pick me up. I'll be fine. I thought you said you were BUSY and that's why you could'nt pick up the phone. Just continue watching YOU'RE usc football until I get there....FOR HEAVEN SAKE! Okay, meet me at KFC....You don't know where KFC is?...OKAY FORGET IT. I'll walk it home by myself. It's just opposite Mcdonald's....COME ON DRIVER!....I TOLD you, K F C....GET OFF THE PHONE! I don't know why you picked it up in the first place. UGH!

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cliff richard

PEDESTRIANS CHAT


Pedestrian(gushes)

Just seen some images of Cliff Richard in the gallery. Wow! I had no idea he was so HOT when he was 17


He was a pretty boy. I am heading to the gallery now. Wanna come.



Pedestrian (gushes)

SURE! Sorry Mick Jagger, but Cliff Richards was much hotter than you



I love his calendar. No wonder he got all the girls


Pedestrian(gushes)

Gives me goose bumps


Really? He's much older now



Pedestrian

I'm serious a hell. I don't care


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SIDEWALK LOOKS http://sidewalknarratives.blogspot.com/

Sidewalk Narrative: So much leaves

Burger King diners, including Nancy Shevell, peer through windows, in amazement as the breeze relentlessly chases orange and brown crunchy leaves down the sidewalk.



Ryan Howard

So much leaves on the sidewalk today? What's going on?



Janet Devlin

Duh! It's autumn, where do you expect to see them? On the trees?



Ryan Howard

Oh I see! Aren't they gonna block the drains?



Janet Devlin

Who cares! Autumn comes only once per year




CHILDREN jump in a heap of rustling leaves



Janet Devlin

I love the crunchy sounds under their feet



Ryan Howard

Sometimes it sounds like footsteps. But there is no greater feeling..it's wonderful!



Janet Devlin

OH NO!



Ryan Howard

What's the matter DRAMA QUEEN?



Janet Devlin

I think I stepped on a frog beneath this pile of leaves



Ryan Howard

You EVIL, HEARTLESS... Let me help you clear away the leaves so we can have a better look at it




Janet Devlin

Thanks



Ryan Howard(Laughs)

Wait! It's not a frog, you muppet! Its a rotten grapefruit




Janet Devlin (sighs in relief)

Thank you God





Janet Devlin

Look at this idiot with the leaf-blower!



Ryan Howard

He is not an idiot. He is blowing the leaves OFF the sidewalk


Janet Devlin

Yes, thats not bad. But he's blowing them into someone's yard



Ryan Howard

I think he's a smart-ass. He realizes his mistake, so he's now blowing them back to the sidewalk



Janet Devlin

IDIOT!





FALLiNG LEAVES HITS CYCLIST IN THE FACE. CYCLIST LOSES CONTROL CRASHES INTO ONCOMING CYCLIST WHO HAS A PASSENGER.



Ryan Howard and Janet Devlin try to stifle laughter as cyclists blame each other.


CYCLISTS SHOWS THEM MIDDLE FINGER AND HURL INSULTS



Janet Devlin

Lots of leaves in your hair




Ryan Howard

Lots of leaves



CYCLIST BRUSHES HAiR FRANTICALLY WITH BACK OF HIS HAND.



Cyclist

liars liars!



LAUGHTER



CYCLIST CURSES, SWEARS THEN RIDES OFF IN THE OPPOSIT DIRECTION



Ryan Howard (laughs)

He even forgets his own direction



Janet Devlin

Just another IDIOT



Janet Devlin

There are fallen leaves all over the sidewalk. Autumn is definitely here.



Ryan Howard

I think you said that earlier, but this time it sounds like you are reading a romance novel



Janet Devlin

OMG! This is my favourite time of the year! I can’t help but gush about it. I am especially obsessed with the browned, fallen leaves.



Ryan Howard

Mine also. Listen to the sound of dry leaves dancing and colliding on the sidewalk; no doubt about it AUTUMN IS HERE!




Janet Devlin

Hurrah! I Love autumn




They both stomp through pile of leaves heaped up by sweeper



SWEEPER:

I HATE AUTUMN! When it’s not the darn wind scattering the leaves I swept, its IDIOTS LIKE YOU. DO YOU MIND?



Ryan

I think you're just making a mess(giggle)



SWEEPER

YOU DON'T HAVE A CLUE. I have swept this area lots of times in the last hour but the damn trees keep letting go of their leaves



Ryan Howard

It's autumn, you MUPPET!



THEY KICK THROUGH OTHER PILES. Sweeper chases them with his broom and clenched fists




Janet Devlin

Let's collect the ones with the most beautiful colours



Ryan Howard

What for? You idiot! Don't have anything better to do?



Janet Devlin

The other girls will love them, don't YOU think?



Ryan Howard,

OH YES! Why didn't you say so earlier?


Janet Devlin

It's a pity we will not be able to capture the sound of the other leaves blowing along the sidewalk



Ryan Howard

Sorry Winsome. You win some, You lose some

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