A CALORIFIC argument erupted between the capricious gang of five and talisman, Theo. Spectateors watched in horror as the gang rained a flurry of fists on their hapless rival. The back of his head smashed into the sidewalk as he fell on his back. His eyes closed. NASCAR, his dog sprang on him, licked his faced and whined. Shortly after, Theo opened his eyes.
The gang walked away swimmingly, looking like good Samaritans. A man is seen running very fast in their direction. Everyone gasped then held their breaths. When the man caught up with the gang, he picked up the stick his dog had thrown for him to fetch, then turned back.
The sigh of relief was deafening.
O K Michelle:(walking towards Theo)
May I help you
Theo groaned in agony.
Jamie:
You are a little late, I'm afraid.So jog on.
O K Michelle:
Sorry, but I would only help after they are gone. I don't wanna get hurt. I'm just a girl, against 5 MEN
Jamie:
OMG! This is embarrassing. Everyone on the sidewalk saw him get floored
ROGER:
I think he's crying
ASCOT:
I wondered what he said that upset them so much. Will his injury make him more susceptible to Multiple sclerosis?
The dog didn't even try to help
What did you expect the poor little poodle to do?
ZOKAYA KAMARA LTD: (accompanied by drum sets and a guitar, CHANTS)
Let me talk
What happened on the sidewalk
Calorific fray erupted
between talisman, Theo
And the enigmatic trio
Tom, Paul and Reo, or
Rosie, Joan and Cleo
Does it matter
Can't you still see the uneven ratio?
Let me talk
what happened on the sidewalk
It's abundantly clear who'll rise the hero
But so opaque who'll be reduced to zero
On my arrival
Saw a gang of three take on a one man rival
That is so suicidal
Can we call those IDIOTS
The top dog???
OH NO!
Stop fume, let me resume the talk
What happened on the sidewalk........
A flurry of fists dropped Theo on the sidewalk
Poodle sprang over him, licked his lips, then BARK BARK BARK
That's the TOP DOG, oh yes, Poodle is the TOP DOG
he BARK BARK BARK
pOODLE is the Top Dog
He YAPS YAPS YAPS
..........................................................................................................
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Tuesday, 19 June 2012
Tuesday, 5 June 2012
Sweep talk her...without reservation
SHINJI:(To Kathie Lee) You have no idea how magnificent, how exotic you are to me. This poise, this symmetry, this refinement. I'm mute with awe over your beauty. Look at me, a mere sidewalk sweeper, holding the delicate hand of this luminous creature at her stall.
It was evident to BARTON that SHINJI's oratory was inspired by Ivan Turgenev's Two Women. SHINJI must have seen the show over the weekend.
Kathie Lee:
Oh, Shinji, I've been so restless and irritable since you swept last week. I could't wait for monday to return, so I could see you again.
Oh, so Kathie Lee had recently seen the show also, Barton thought. It seems she and Shinji went on a secret date. There's no smoke without fire. Barton was serving a pedestrian but the lovebirds' recreation of the mesmerizing tale, have his full attention.
SHINJI:
I feel so centred when I see you each week. Seeing you is the only happiness I need on this sidewalk. You got to believe me.... I'd die inside if knew you were restless and irritable.
Kathie Lee:
I'm okay now. Hundreds of female vendors on the sidewalk are just jealous of me because you hand-picked me over them
SHINJI:
Hundreds? I'd say thousands, millions
They laugh lovingly
SHINJI:(gushes)
Just looking at you is an UNQUALIFIED pleasure.
Kathie Lee:
You are so sweet. I discussed you with my mum all the time
SHINJI:
My heart leapt, I thought you were gonna say you discussed me with your husband
Kathie Lee:
Good God no, I would'nt be so silly
SHINJI:
You are so beautiful..Let me guess, you and your mom talk about the CHASM between our ages
Kathie Lee:
What chasm(laughs)...I told her you're closer to me in years owing to our similar temperament and spiritual dispositions. Oh, she asked about your rheumatism
SHINJI:(laughs)
You told her about it?
Kathie Lee:
Of course not. I'm just teasing you.
SHINJI:
When I look at you, I see youth, freshness and vitality....
Kathie Lee:
I see those qualities in you plus pure handsomeness...I dont feel old
SHINJI:
Thanks. Neither do I. I do not feel old. I do not feel any age....As you know, I'm not a man of style and grace, so I'll get to the point...
Kathie Lee:
You are a man of style and grace
SHINJI:
Thank you. I'm glad you noticed...Anyway, As I was saying, I'm a man of few words,
but I've been watching you, and I'm proud to admit you have taken possession of my head.
Kathie Lee:(blushes)
There's no one on the sidewalk, I love the way I love you. When you laugh, I laugh. Stall-owners and pedestrians sometimes wonder about the secrets to my perpetual glow and why I alway look so extroardinarily beautiful....
SHINJI:
....I often wonder myself...
Kathie Lee:
Well, wonder no more...YOU are the reason. Being with you, thinking about you...
SHINJI:
Oh. I love you this much(arms stretched out as widely as possible)...without reservations. I know you love me, but do you love me this much?
Kathie Lee:
Without reservations(with arms stretched out as widely as possible). I'll be a vendor on this sidewalk as long as you continue sweeping here...
SHINJI:
I enjoy our weekly banter and goodbye hugs, but isn't it time we do.......'things.'
Kathie Lee:
You'll have to give up your vice
SHINJI:
No problem. I was gonna give it up anyway.
Kathie Lee:
Great. I started preparing a speech for you, the moment I spot you sweeping away in the distance
SHINJI:
I can't wait to hear it....
Kathie Lee:
......I've been a vendor on this sidewalk for a month now, and it's been the happiest month of my life because of you. Not even my husband makes me this happy.
SHINJI:
That's what love does; it makes the unreasonable seems perfectly reasonable. Loving you this way when I have my wife is disgraceful and I feel ashamed of myself, but I wont stop.
Kathie Lee:
I pray each week that our partners do not find out about us, because I don't want this to be the last time I'm seeing you, I don't want this to be the last tiem I talk to you
SHINJI:
I have been in love with you from the first day you started working on this stall.
Kathie Lee:
And the first time you talked to me, I wanted to declare my love for you, but I was afraid, you'd see it as a declaration of love from a woman you have NO interest in.
SHINJI:
Far from it! You have no idea how magnificent, how exotic you are to me. This poise, this symmetry, this refinement. I'm mute with awe over your beauty.Look at me, a mere sidewalk sweeper, holding the delicate hand of this luminous creature...
Kathie Lee:
....I love you this much(arms stretched out as wide as possible)..without reservation.
SHINJI:
If I lose you, I don't know how I would survive
Kathie Lee:
You'll survive, especially when you love.....without reservations....
SHINJI:
They say all love is a catastrophe, leading to desolation and shame..They say a man enslaved by love is owned by a woman, so he will know what real suffering feels like...
Kathie Lee:
....NONSENSE! You have the unqualified love of a good woman, I hope this is enough..
SHINJI:
It is. If it wasn't so I let you go, I would end up being dissatisfied in my life. But you, who loved....without reservation, even though your love was not appreciated or reciprocated, would be the lucky one.
It was evident to BARTON that SHINJI's oratory was inspired by Ivan Turgenev's Two Women. SHINJI must have seen the show over the weekend.
Kathie Lee:
Oh, Shinji, I've been so restless and irritable since you swept last week. I could't wait for monday to return, so I could see you again.
Oh, so Kathie Lee had recently seen the show also, Barton thought. It seems she and Shinji went on a secret date. There's no smoke without fire. Barton was serving a pedestrian but the lovebirds' recreation of the mesmerizing tale, have his full attention.
SHINJI:
I feel so centred when I see you each week. Seeing you is the only happiness I need on this sidewalk. You got to believe me.... I'd die inside if knew you were restless and irritable.
Kathie Lee:
I'm okay now. Hundreds of female vendors on the sidewalk are just jealous of me because you hand-picked me over them
SHINJI:
Hundreds? I'd say thousands, millions
They laugh lovingly
SHINJI:(gushes)
Just looking at you is an UNQUALIFIED pleasure.
Kathie Lee:
You are so sweet. I discussed you with my mum all the time
SHINJI:
My heart leapt, I thought you were gonna say you discussed me with your husband
Kathie Lee:
Good God no, I would'nt be so silly
SHINJI:
You are so beautiful..Let me guess, you and your mom talk about the CHASM between our ages
Kathie Lee:
What chasm(laughs)...I told her you're closer to me in years owing to our similar temperament and spiritual dispositions. Oh, she asked about your rheumatism
SHINJI:(laughs)
You told her about it?
Kathie Lee:
Of course not. I'm just teasing you.
SHINJI:
When I look at you, I see youth, freshness and vitality....
Kathie Lee:
I see those qualities in you plus pure handsomeness...I dont feel old
SHINJI:
Thanks. Neither do I. I do not feel old. I do not feel any age....As you know, I'm not a man of style and grace, so I'll get to the point...
Kathie Lee:
You are a man of style and grace
SHINJI:
Thank you. I'm glad you noticed...Anyway, As I was saying, I'm a man of few words,
but I've been watching you, and I'm proud to admit you have taken possession of my head.
Kathie Lee:(blushes)
There's no one on the sidewalk, I love the way I love you. When you laugh, I laugh. Stall-owners and pedestrians sometimes wonder about the secrets to my perpetual glow and why I alway look so extroardinarily beautiful....
SHINJI:
....I often wonder myself...
Kathie Lee:
Well, wonder no more...YOU are the reason. Being with you, thinking about you...
SHINJI:
Oh. I love you this much(arms stretched out as widely as possible)...without reservations. I know you love me, but do you love me this much?
Kathie Lee:
Without reservations(with arms stretched out as widely as possible). I'll be a vendor on this sidewalk as long as you continue sweeping here...
SHINJI:
I enjoy our weekly banter and goodbye hugs, but isn't it time we do.......'things.'
Kathie Lee:
You'll have to give up your vice
SHINJI:
No problem. I was gonna give it up anyway.
Kathie Lee:
Great. I started preparing a speech for you, the moment I spot you sweeping away in the distance
SHINJI:
I can't wait to hear it....
Kathie Lee:
......I've been a vendor on this sidewalk for a month now, and it's been the happiest month of my life because of you. Not even my husband makes me this happy.
SHINJI:
That's what love does; it makes the unreasonable seems perfectly reasonable. Loving you this way when I have my wife is disgraceful and I feel ashamed of myself, but I wont stop.
Kathie Lee:
I pray each week that our partners do not find out about us, because I don't want this to be the last time I'm seeing you, I don't want this to be the last tiem I talk to you
SHINJI:
I have been in love with you from the first day you started working on this stall.
Kathie Lee:
And the first time you talked to me, I wanted to declare my love for you, but I was afraid, you'd see it as a declaration of love from a woman you have NO interest in.
SHINJI:
Far from it! You have no idea how magnificent, how exotic you are to me. This poise, this symmetry, this refinement. I'm mute with awe over your beauty.Look at me, a mere sidewalk sweeper, holding the delicate hand of this luminous creature...
Kathie Lee:
....I love you this much(arms stretched out as wide as possible)..without reservation.
SHINJI:
If I lose you, I don't know how I would survive
Kathie Lee:
You'll survive, especially when you love.....without reservations....
SHINJI:
They say all love is a catastrophe, leading to desolation and shame..They say a man enslaved by love is owned by a woman, so he will know what real suffering feels like...
Kathie Lee:
....NONSENSE! You have the unqualified love of a good woman, I hope this is enough..
SHINJI:
It is. If it wasn't so I let you go, I would end up being dissatisfied in my life. But you, who loved....without reservation, even though your love was not appreciated or reciprocated, would be the lucky one.
Friday, 1 June 2012
Slim Forever with yoga warm ups
FORMER spelling bee champion, now self-styled Master yoga guru, Jeremy and his ardent fanatics of Navasana, Pranayama and Tittibhasana. monopolize 60 meters of the sidewalk. He promised reestablishment of their menthol, spiritual and physical well-beings. Even his warm up moves will guarantee unqualified happiness owing to their ability to clear minds, enhance meditations and promote slimness forever.
JEREMY:
Thanks for sneaking out for the best yoga lessons you will ever have. Hope you wont get in trouble...First, follow every move I dictate. Not only are they great ways to warm up; They will clear your mind and enhance your meditation. Trust me, when I'm done with you, you MUST have a much needed shower with bath salts. Great work-out to get your body ready for the Diamond Jubilee
JEREMY:
You're all looking versatile and talented.... We'll do each move for a minimum of 5 minutes, okay. So Angels and Shreks , ARE YOU READY?
ALL:
Yesssssss!
JEREMY:
Okay. Before we start our journey, we'll do the important warm up moves, then we'll YOGA like its 1999, then we'll cool down
APPLAUSE
FIRST MOVE IS.....Pretend you're a tourist then (illustrates move) walk around on the spot
NOW just (illustrates) walk up and down the sidewalk. Back and forth, back and forth....
Now, (mimics action) walking on crutches. Let me see the pain on your faces. Let me hear your groans
Now do a long and quiet walk on the spot, just pretend you're in the park. Give thanks through quiet mediation for this wonderful journey I'm taking you on.
For maximum benefit, please vary your steps; vary the pace; long, short, light, forceful.....If your legs hurt, don't worry means that you need more Navasana, Pranayama and Tittibhasana, so push harder.
Don't worry about the curiously amused on-lookers, they're nothing but indolent DRUNKARDS. Just do your thing. I assure you, YOU will have the LAST LAUGHS
Imagine your'e being stalked on the sidewalk by one of these drunks...To get the hell of there, start speed walking, if he does the same, start running..
Thank you all, now LETS YOGA!
ALL:(unenthusiastically)
yes
JEREMY:
Okay, since you're all tired from the Slim Forever warm up moves, then we'll yoga next session. Provided, you'll be ready, willing and able to do so after the warm ups. You're free to go home now and watch the french open. You'll cool down as you dawdle home.
CHEERS
Those of you who I owe change, we'll talk about that in the next session. If I owe you change from last week, as you know, I am short on change today. If I owe you change from more than two weeks ago, seriously, forget it!
JEREMY:
Thanks for sneaking out for the best yoga lessons you will ever have. Hope you wont get in trouble...First, follow every move I dictate. Not only are they great ways to warm up; They will clear your mind and enhance your meditation. Trust me, when I'm done with you, you MUST have a much needed shower with bath salts. Great work-out to get your body ready for the Diamond Jubilee
JEREMY:
You're all looking versatile and talented.... We'll do each move for a minimum of 5 minutes, okay. So Angels and Shreks , ARE YOU READY?
ALL:
Yesssssss!
JEREMY:
Okay. Before we start our journey, we'll do the important warm up moves, then we'll YOGA like its 1999, then we'll cool down
APPLAUSE
FIRST MOVE IS.....Pretend you're a tourist then (illustrates move) walk around on the spot
NOW just (illustrates) walk up and down the sidewalk. Back and forth, back and forth....
Now, (mimics action) walking on crutches. Let me see the pain on your faces. Let me hear your groans
Now do a long and quiet walk on the spot, just pretend you're in the park. Give thanks through quiet mediation for this wonderful journey I'm taking you on.
For maximum benefit, please vary your steps; vary the pace; long, short, light, forceful.....If your legs hurt, don't worry means that you need more Navasana, Pranayama and Tittibhasana, so push harder.
Don't worry about the curiously amused on-lookers, they're nothing but indolent DRUNKARDS. Just do your thing. I assure you, YOU will have the LAST LAUGHS
Imagine your'e being stalked on the sidewalk by one of these drunks...To get the hell of there, start speed walking, if he does the same, start running..
Thank you all, now LETS YOGA!
ALL:(unenthusiastically)
yes
JEREMY:
Okay, since you're all tired from the Slim Forever warm up moves, then we'll yoga next session. Provided, you'll be ready, willing and able to do so after the warm ups. You're free to go home now and watch the french open. You'll cool down as you dawdle home.
CHEERS
Those of you who I owe change, we'll talk about that in the next session. If I owe you change from last week, as you know, I am short on change today. If I owe you change from more than two weeks ago, seriously, forget it!
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