Tuesday 15 November 2011

Child's Play on the sidewalk

Today, your obstreperous sidewalk Presenter is, ME, Mueller...These pedestrians are ruminating on some of the things that annoys them on the sidewalk; leaflets about Unlimited broadband, New car deals, Cheap holidays and the chatter of kids playing hopscotch, riding bikes and playing other games along the sidewalk. Today, we will feature a motorist who hates it when pedestrians get in the way when he drives on the sidewalk. IT DRIVES HIM INSANE...


Houghton:

Will these shoes fit my 8 year daughter?


Nintendo 3DS VENDOR, bob costas:

It's for an adult, so I don't think so.


Houghton:

Try on this pair of shoes Adele


CHILD

It's a size 14, I am a size 4


Houghton(shouts)

TRY IT ON!


Child Pat Sharp:

NO!


Houghton:

Don't you like it?


CHILD

Yes. But it's too big for me. ARGH!


PAT SEES HER FRIENDS HAVING A GOOD TIME ON THE SIDEWALK, RUNS AND JOIN THEM.


Houghton:

She had a long day at church, I thought she would be very tired. So I'm surprised she prefers to run off with her friends ON THE SIDEWALK instead of coming STRAIGHT home with me. UGH!


JOGGER Kimono

LEAVE THEM ALONE. Obviously, they are just making the most of their last day of freedom and safety on the sidewalk


matt schaub

What do you mean?



Fedotowsky, a well-known sidewalk vendor, urinates in the middle of the sidewalk. He is interuppted by the noise from the approaching children. He chuckles as the steam from the urine rises into the air. His dog watches closely, so are motorists, pedestrians, cyclists and other vendors.



DRIVER, Peterson, IN PARKED CAR:

The sidewalk would be lifeless without these blessed kids? Bless them


matt schaub:

Ahhhh!


Fedotowsky quickly zips his trousers and hurrys away before the children sees him. Rodriguez and all the other pedestrians burst into a raucous laughter.



LATER




CHILD, Stallone WALKS INTO CYCLIST Stacy Keibler 's PATH


Stacy Keibler: The sun is going down, why are these kids on the sidewalk so LATE. UGH! GET THE HELL OUT OF THE WAY. DON'T THEY HAVE iPad 3 or Contract phones TO GO HOME AND PLAY WITH?




matt schaub

uppity: I don't know. ASK Megyn. I'm just the Presenter. YOU SHOULD ALWAYS BE LOOKING OUT FOR KIDS WHEN YOU CYCLE ON THE SIDEWALK....I got here a few minutes ago. Do you know why one of your fellow pedestrians said that the children are making the most of their last day of safety and freedom on the sidewalk?



megyn:

Maybe too many adults will on the sidewalk during thanksgiving. I DON'T KNOW. Ask one of the other pedestrians. UGH!




PEDESTRIANS SHRUGS




Kid:

Will you spray paint me? Please




Stacy Keibler:

No. Go home! Your parents probably wondering where you are


CHILD:

Please! Our parents know where we are



Stacy Keibler:


I don't know how to spray paint. Ask your parent



A kit kat falls from one of the children. Stacy Keibler
sees, picks it up and devours it before its rightful owner ask any question.




Some children are using BlackBerry phones to recreate the routines in Beyonce dance for you video, whereas, others are writing their names on the sidewalk with bits of paper. They are worried the wind will blow it away, but it passes without harm.


They clap and cheer.


MATT

However, they are not so lucky when Stacy Keibler
notices what they are doing.




Stacy Keibler: (screams)

GO AWAY!



Stacy Keibler brushes away all the bits of paper.


MATT

Where is this person's sense of humour?



PEDESTRIAN gabby giffords

Leave them kids alone! YOU A TEACHER OR SOMETHING? Why do you target them?




Stacy Keibler

NO! They are taking up the WHOLE sidewalk, creating a nuisance and defacing the sidewalk, ride their bikes, making noises



PEDESTRIAN gabby giffords

I am so perplexed why you, of all people, can be so inconsiderate towards these kids who are only trying to enjoy themselves one last time.



Stacy Keibler:

Pass me my Raincoats. I DON'T WISH SPEAK TO YOU. UGH!



MATT

Will someone PLEASE tell me what the HELL IS GOING ON? aRE THESE KIDS TERMINAL OR WHAT?



Stacy Keibler:

I think she is terminal, not the kids. NOT ME



PEDESTRIAN gabby giffords:

Heard your grand dad will be driving his car again starting TOMORROW. No wonder the kids are terrified of walking on the sidewalk EVER again. Both you and him are terminal



Stacy Keibler:

If the kids play on the sidewalk and refrain from wandering in the road, they should be fine. You said so yourself, so there is no need to tergiversate now. The kids have no reasons to be scared of Grand dad



PEDESTRIAN gabby giffords

EXCUSE ME. they have every reason to be scared of him. HE FINDS IT HARD TO KEEP OFF THE SIDEWALK WHEN HE DRIVES


MATT

Oh!



A CHILD SCREAMS FURTHER DOWN THE SIDEWALK



Stacy Keibler:

There’s a WOMAN dragging her child by an ear down the sidewalk why don’t you say something to her. That child is in danger


PEDESTRIAN gabby giffords

If she wants a child without an ear, that’s her business

.................................................................
SIDEWALK THEATRE and SIDEWALK LOOKS http://www.facebook.com/allthaTRAGE

SIDEWALK LOOKS http://sidewalknarratives.blogspot.com/